My darling,

my love,

I wanted to offer you

romance, adventure,

and the world,

that all we see

and all we hear

and all we breathe

would be as one,

starting

tonight,

aboard a boat

to carry us

over the waves,

stars and frost surrounding,

as we dine on the lake

in the moonlight.

This very afternoon,

as it happens,

I reached a

critical juncture

in my jigsaw puzzle.

I offer you,

sweet one,

this gift card

to Denny’s.

I ask only

that you come home

with a to-go box.

I would love a Grand Slam

(with turkey bacon).

I love you.

my love for you

a flower

blooming

growing

hopeful

when it’s spring

when cold arrives

come hatred

wilting

dying

spiteful

then it’s over

You were

a distant sea from my plains of sand.

Only if you stayed,

We could have built a dam in a deserted land.

Nonetheless,

If you didn't have me shoved

I couldn't have tunneled a lake,

and filled my void with a euphoria of self love.

The burning

sensation

of my wrist

glowing red

like embers

could not distract

from the fire that roared in my heart,

creating craters that crisped around the edges

and spoiled smoke of bittersweet anger.

I tried

to ignore

the way

my heart melted

into a pool of despair.

I tried

to ignore

the fact

that I still loved you,

and that you took a lighter

to see

how I would squirm.

I

tried

to ignore

that it

burned.

You fucked up.

You were supposed to be kissing me

not my only friend.

You were supposed to be holding me

not having sex with her.

You were supposed to be mine

this Valentines.

And now on the one day

where I'm supposed to be happy,

fueled by passion,

feeling loved by people,

feeling loved by you...

I am nothing but

lonely,

unwanted,

molten ashes.

I remember so many songs that I’ve loved, and all the times I’d listen to each one. Again and again because I couldn’t capture enough of the beauty that so deeply appealed to me, that made me feel alive.

Again and again, clinging to each one as if in fear that listening to anything else would break the spell and make me forget the one that enthralled me. Denying that my passion was doomed to be fleeting.

But it always was.

Novelty would turn to mediocrity, excitement would be numbed by repetition. The love that I felt so purely would inevitably be sucked away. The outlying song left punished for the sole crime of being exceptional.

But I realize, people are no different.

I am no different.

For you, I am the song that you listened to until it turned stale. I am the one who you loved with all the passion in the world, so long as it didn’t dry up.

But it did.

I am the one who you let slip away, forgotten. Replaced by new temptations that only wipe me from your heart.

I am the flame that burned too bright to ever last.

And so I didn’t.

~

i’m short & i’m sweet

and yours, unique.

invited to stay, in a moment i flee.

though welcome, depart, as quick

as i come. divide between two;

as i am one. when given away

i never come back. i am

the first, yet, also

your last.

~

1

Roses are flowers of red

Violets are flowers of blue,

I can’t think of any more lines,

I’m too busy thinking of you!

2

Roses are red

Violets are blue

You may not be much

But always be you!

3

Rose’s are red

Violet’s are blue

But I love them both

And I like flowers, too!

I can't remember a time

Where I wanted something more,

Someone more than this.

One last kiss

Now playing over

And over on my skin,

Never to be felt again.

Our weekend, a final embrace.

Our brief adventure, ended.

As I sit in my car

Fingers ready to turn

The key and drive away

I can't help but think,

This was always a mistake.

eyes burning from behind

she’s smoking a cigarette inside me

propping black boots up on my ribcage

and grinding my thoughts

between her perfect teeth.

did i just fucking fall in love?

The idea was a good one once, I think

people get so caught up in the burdens

of daily living, they forget to voice

the words of love they assume

their actions manifest,

even if there are few hugs

fewer kisses and beds

have become only for sleeping;

but when it became a day

one had to buy something,

to give a gift to prove

one’s love and affection

undying and profound

as delineated in this Hallmark card,

when it became about

things given

and not

feelings shared,

when it became about

the roses,

the chocolate,

the gifts…

Valentine’s Day lost its soul.

Love needs words

supported by actions

daily.

If you love someone -

friend, parent or significant other -

tell them today

no matter the date.

Tell them tomorrow.

And the next day, too.

And all the ones that follow.

Most importantly,

back up the words with actions

not things

that show how much you care -

every day.

Love should be an everyday sort of feeling...not just a one-day splurge and forget.