Hole
“You’ve been digging this hole for a month now.”
“I know.”
″You know you have a choice right?”
″...”
″You always have a choi-”
“Fuck you.”
“Hmm... gives you comfort or mayb-”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Keep on digging - it won’t end well. Not going to find what you’re looking for. You understand that... don’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“Short term gratification. The dig. Just one more ‘one mores’ then?”
“...”
“You sure you know what you’re doing kiddo? Y’know it wasn’t your fault, jus-”
“Then what is it then... huh? How long’s this joke going to be man? Where’s the fucking punchline already? Why am I here? Every second, I have an itch to dig. This urge.”
“Laws of causality.”
“Hah... so we’re just a bunch of dominoes then? Jus- Just... fucking... pieces in a puzzle. Don’t even get to see what the puzzle is in the end? What a shit joke.”
“I don’t know.”
“Then shut the fuck up and leave. I don’t have much space down here anyway.”
”...”
″...”
“What’s the point in being a living definition of hate?”
“If I knew, I. WOULDN’T. BE. HERE. DOWN THIS FUCKING SHITHOLE. You think I actually like being here... huh? You think anyone wants to be here? ”
“Of course not.”
“Then why.”
“Need to.”
″...”
“For when the sun shines...for when you get out... because love won’t be as beautiful without this.”
″If I get out.”
“You will. Just a matter of time. The river of time doesn’t wait for no one. Purpose of it is to keep on going.”
″...”
“I know starting over’s not what life’s about.”
″...”
”...”
“You’re not going to add anything to that huh?”
“No. Nothing else to add.”
“Jesus - yeah thanks. Stole from a song anyway. Not your own words."
"Did. But does it matter?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
“Deeper you dig that hole, longer it takes to climb out.”
″...I know.”
“Then why not start climbing up now?”
″...”
“Afraid of falling down? The height?”
“...yeah.”
“So why keep digging?”
“Because looking down and digging’s easier than looking up to see how far I have to go. Least I know I won’t fall. Comfort. Safety. Both here beneath my feet.”
“Ah... freedom or comfort. Age old question.”
“And us humans are pain-avoiding creatures - unfortunately built in our wiring. But if we weren’t, then pain wouldn’t be pain huh? Probably give that another definition too.”
“Go against your programming then.”
″...”
“Part of being human too. You lot have done this a million times over. Rebellions, defiance, and, technically, civilization was made from revolution - hell you guys have a band called ‘Rage Against the Machine’.”
“If only it was that easy.”
“That’s the point. Not supposed to be easy. ”
″That’s the point? To struggle?”
“Yep.”
“Hah... funny.”
“That the punchline you were looking for?”
“Not really.”
”...”
″...”
“I... I just want a better way to fall man...”
“I know kiddo. I know.”
"Stole that from a song too."
"Doesn't matter. Why care if they're not your words to bear? Everything's been done under the sun."
″,,,”
”...”
“Christ... that’s a long way up man. Where’s the light?”
“Don’t trust the light, even if you think you see it. Can be a sun or a train. And more often than not, it’s the latter.”
“A train? Down here? Hah... Jesus. You’re losing it too huh?”
“Well... I am you.”
“Okay... then... what should I be looking forward to?
“Dunno. Just close your eyes.”
“Hah... so dark down here, can’t tell if my eyes are closed anyways.”
“Hope then. Make your own light. Part of your programming too. Twigs and kindle’s built in you.”
“Heh... hey...”
“Hmm?”
“I’m scared of falling.”
“That’s okay. I’ll still be here.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
“I love you.”
“Alright alright... don’t get like that. Just remember to throw down the rope once you get out.”
“Will do.”
this comforts me
this comforts me
this sugary abyss
a honeyed oil black pit
lined with bitter molasses
this taste of love
tongue tangled in red ribbons
fingers dipped in white clouds
our mouths don stardust
enough to engulf
sound
this lodges on my
terracotta skin
an adobe army
made of these quiet dogs
In my head
this union - this arms me
and so disorder - disappears
but my sweet nothing
where skinny cows roam red meadows
and headless weathervanes spin on rotten roofing
discomforts me