“Please, choose a card.”

“Any card?”

“Let your hand be drawn to the card of your destiny.”

“Ohhh...kay. Well, here goes.”

...

“Please, relax, miss.”

“It’s just...this is a big decision, right? I mean, won’t the card I choose decide my fate?”

“The cards merely point out possibilities. Only you decide your fate, dear. Nevertheless, it is wise to pay respect to how fate is leading and the hints she so generously bestows so you may be prepared for the unexpected.”

“Okay. Got it. I can do this.”

...

“Don’t overthink it. Just let your hand follow where it is pulled.”

“Yeah, okay. Umm...how do I know where my hand’s being pulled?”

“It is not a matter of knowing. It is a matter of doing, without prior analysis. Let instinct be your guide.”

“Right. Instinct. Here I go. Hmm...”

“Would you like me to draw for you?”

“Wait, can you do that?”

“Yes. I am able to act as a proxy and draw for you, since this reading is ultimately meant for you.”

“It won’t change the outcome?”

“My dear, Lady Fortune needs no assistance. She knows her children and their futures are secure in her hands.”

“If the future is secure, then why even take the time to predict my fortune?”

“I did not say your future is set in stone, child. I said that it is secure, whatever it may be. The cards help guide you in the right direction and advise you where needed.”

“All right. Go ahead and pick a card for me, then.”

“Are you certain?”

“Uh, yes...?”

“Very well, then. I shall choose. Hmm...mmm...humbrumblerum...”

“Wait!”

“What is the matter?”

“I think--ahem...whew. I think I can draw the card.”

“Is that your wish?”

“Yeesss...?”

“Well, make up your mind, child. I do not like to rush destiny, but I trust you did see the growing line of hopeful patrons outside my booth. I have many precious souls to guide into the path of destiny ’ere this day is done.”

“Oh, yes, I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to be a nuisance, I just--I feel like I need to take this slowly and carefully. It’s just such a huge deal. I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“Indeed? I couldn’t tell.”

“Huh?”

“Ah, nothing, dear, nothing. Do take your time. Just...not too much time. You do not wish to keep your friends waiting, hmm?”

“Wait, how did you know I came here with my friends? Oh, right...you’re psychic. Forgot about that part.”

“The card, dear.”

“Oh, yeah. All right, here goes. Please let it be a good card!”

...

“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! Is it a bad card? Oh shoot, it looks really bad. What are those people falling out of the windows? And the fire and stormy clouds... Am I gonna die??? Crap, why did I let them talk me into this--?”

“Calm down, child. No need to panic. This card is called The Tower. Rarely chosen. A very portentious card, indeed. Tsk, tsk, tsk.”

“Por--what? What do you mean? Am I going to die?”

“The one who draws this card must be prepared for great change or upheaval in his or her life. This change is not necessarily of a moribund nature; however, it will likely involve a form of chaos and destruction--”

“What the--chaos and destruction?! Are you freaking kidding me? Am I gonna die?? I’m gonna die, aren’t I?”

“This chaos and destruction is not always of the physical kind. It usually means the figurative destruction of a way of life and being thrust into a new, albeit turbulent, paradigm. Therefore, it is important that you accept this change with open arms and do not cling to the past. Otherwise this transition will be made much more difficult for you.”

“Hey, all I care about is if I’m going to die or not! Am I going to be murdered in my sleep or something?!”

“Oh, pish-posh, child. These cards should only rarely be taken literally. Despite the rather...gruesome depiction on the card, the chances of your future ending in a horrific death are quite slim. Besides, it’s more probable that you’ll be hit by a car while jaywalking with earbuds in your ears than being murdered in your sleep.”

“What was that?”

“Ahem. As I said, by all accounts, you have a long and happy life ahead of you. This fortune is rather pointing to a drastic change in your near future. You will be starting a new life at a new college in a matter of days--more than likely this change will be somehow intwined in that new life. You must be ready to leave your old life behind and step grandly and confidently into this new season. Consider this a lucky draw!”

“Wait, how did you--never mind. Psychic.”

“Hah. That, and it helps when the customer is an open-book sucker like you.”

“Um, everything okay? You keep muttering to yourself.”

“Oh, yes, dear, quite!”

“So, is that it? Should I draw another card?”

“It all depends on how much you desire to look into your fortune. As it turns out, I am offering a special discount on the one-card reading today. However, I do have three- and five-card readings available. They are quite...pricey. Heaven forbid she stays another minute. I’ll miss the next rerun of Desperate Housewives at this rate.”

“Oh, well, um, I’d better stop here, then. Broke college student, ya know.”

“I do know...unfortunately. Curse you and your constant mooching, Carlos, you good-for-nothing, rat-faced--”

“Uh...so how much do I owe you?”

“You will find the prices listed on this sheet here.”

“What? You seriously call that a ‘discount’? Pfft.”

“This is not an easy business, child.”

“Oh, really? Bet anyone could flip around a deck of freaky cards and tell fortunes. Bet I could do it. Tsh.”

“I thank you for your generous patronage. You’ll find the exit through the curtain on your right. Oh, a quick word of advice: be careful crossing the street. And you probably should not listen to music while walking either. Goodbye!”

“What?! Wait, tell me what that means! And stop pushing me! Let...me...go! I’m serious. My friend’s dad is an attorney.”

“How nice for him.”

“Yeah, so you’d better watch it. Crazy old lady...why did I ever spend my money on your fake fortune-telling scam anyway? I knew this looked shady! I told them. Hmph. Dingy, motheaten, old tent...”

“I take offense at that. And you should be pleased--I threw in that last tidbit free of charge.”

“...And that was all I had left in my wallet. Forget about a nice dinner on the pier. Dammit, I’m so stupid...”

“I will not argue with that.”

“Hey--!”

“Here’s the door. And may fortune smile upon you. Toodles!”

“Are you going to buy anything, or just stand there starin’ at the wall?”

“Hm? Ah, in a hurry, I see. Forgive me for pointing it out, but I am the only customer in this store.”

“It’s a busy street: somebody’ll walk in”

“Yet no one has the entire time I have been in here.”

“I’m sorry, do you wanna’ buy somethin’?”

“I’m curious, of all the things you could sell, why tea and spices?”

“There’s always a market for that.”

“Apparently not. Would it be presumptuous for me to assume that I am the only market all day? It is a nice store, though.”

“Hm.”

“Tell me, are you Stanson, or Harris?”

“Say again?”

“Your sign out front: it says ‘Tea and Kitchen Supply Co. Stanson and Harris.’ Which one are you? Stanson, I presume?”

“Harris. Stanson died two years ago this month.”

“Hm, how unfortunate.”

“I’ll say - he was better at running the business than I am. If I can’t make another payment this quarter, that’s the last of this place.”

“What a pity.”

“Where are you from?”

“Hm? Sorry, I was admiring this jar of tea - it looks pretty, as if it were ceramic. I am from nowhere important. The Duchy of Ivanshtine, if you must know. You heard of it? No? It’s a few week’s journey from here. Small country, but a pretty one.”

“This your first time in Agranda?”

“Yes, frankly, I do not admire how many wars you get yourselves into, but I do like your cities.”

“What is it you do exactly?”

“Ah, I am the head baron within Ivanshtine, magistrate of the high court of the duke.”

“Uh, I’m sorry I asked. Are you goin’ to buy anything?”

“I don’t think so...Actually, I will, if you can do one thing for me.”

“What’s that?”

“Open this jar of tea, ok? But do it without using your hands.”

“That’s an easy riddle. You just ask the other person to open it for you - you don’t use your hands by doing that.”

“So?”

“So...will you open it for me?”

“I think not.”

“What?! Why not?”

“I don’t want to.”

“But that’s the answer to the riddle! You have to open it.”

“Who said I have to open it: you asked, and I said ‘no.’”

“So how am I supposed to open this?”

“You’ll have to convince me to open it for you.”

“What? Fine, ok, let’s see here…There’s tea inside.”

“So?”

“What’a ya’ mean so?”

“I’ve had lots of tea over the course of my life, so why should I care for the kind that’s in that jar?”

“Eer, it’s very good tea - believe me. I’ve had it myself many times, and it’s really good.”

“I’m sorry, did I hear you say that it is your favorite tea?”

“What? No, it’s not my favorite, but it’s still good.”

“Hm, what a shame. I’d probably open it, even buy it, if it was your favorite.”

“Ok, then it’s my favorite.”

“Hm. Seems intriguing, but what more does it offer?”

“Uhhh, it comes from the lower mountains of Southern Agranda, very rare in flavor, and quite favorable in strength.”

“Well, in that case, I’ll purchase two jars. It's open.”

“Really?”

“Of course: it sounds like I’d be missing out if I did not take some.”

“Alright, then. Will that be all?”

“Keep the change. Actually, I think I want that wooden stirring spoon.”

“Huh. Grab it without using your hands.”

“Very risible, my friend, but you are the one profiting from the sale, so I shall indeed grab it without my hands: would you please grab it for me?”

“Uh, right. Here ya’ go. Anything else?”

“Nope. Have a wonderful day.”

“Sure thing.”

(Hours later, a new customer enters)

“Hey, are you going to buy anything, or just- I mean...I really think you would like this tea, it’s my personal favorite…”

“You’ve been digging this hole for a month now.”

“I know.”

″You know you have a choice right?”

″...”

″You always have a choi-”

“Fuck you.”

“Hmm... gives you comfort or mayb-”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Keep on digging - it won’t end well. Not going to find what you’re looking for. You understand that... don’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Short term gratification. The dig. Just one more ‘one mores’ then?”

“...”

“You sure you know what you’re doing kiddo? Y’know it wasn’t your fault, jus-”

“Then what is it then... huh? How long’s this joke going to be man? Where’s the fucking punchline already? Why am I here? Every second, I have an itch to dig. This urge.”

“Laws of causality.”

“Hah... so we’re just a bunch of dominoes then? Jus- Just... fucking... pieces in a puzzle. Don’t even get to see what the puzzle is in the end? What a shit joke.”

“I don’t know.”

“Then shut the fuck up and leave. I don’t have much space down here anyway.”

”...”

″...”

“What’s the point in being a living definition of hate?”

“If I knew, I. WOULDN’T. BE. HERE. DOWN THIS FUCKING SHITHOLE. You think I actually like being here... huh? You think anyone wants to be here? ”

“Of course not.”

“Then why.”

“Need to.”

″...”

“For when the sun shines...for when you get out... because love won’t be as beautiful without this.”

″If I get out.”

“You will. Just a matter of time. The river of time doesn’t wait for no one. Purpose of it is to keep on going.”

″...”

“I know starting over’s not what life’s about.”

″...”

”...”

“You’re not going to add anything to that huh?”

“No. Nothing else to add.”

“Jesus - yeah thanks. Stole from a song anyway. Not your own words."

"Did. But does it matter?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

“Deeper you dig that hole, longer it takes to climb out.”

″...I know.”

“Then why not start climbing up now?”

″...”

“Afraid of falling down? The height?”

“...yeah.”

“So why keep digging?”

“Because looking down and digging’s easier than looking up to see how far I have to go. Least I know I won’t fall. Comfort. Safety. Both here beneath my feet.”

“Ah... freedom or comfort. Age old question.”

“And us humans are pain-avoiding creatures - unfortunately built in our wiring. But if we weren’t, then pain wouldn’t be pain huh? Probably give that another definition too.”

“Go against your programming then.”

″...”

“Part of being human too. You lot have done this a million times over. Rebellions, defiance, and, technically, civilization was made from revolution - hell you guys have a band called ‘Rage Against the Machine’.”

“If only it was that easy.”

“That’s the point. Not supposed to be easy. ”

″That’s the point? To struggle?”

“Yep.”

“Hah... funny.”

“That the punchline you were looking for?”

“Not really.”

”...”

″...”

“I... I just want a better way to fall man...”

“I know kiddo. I know.”

"Stole that from a song too."

"Doesn't matter. Why care if they're not your words to bear? Everything's been done under the sun."

″,,,”

”...”

“Christ... that’s a long way up man. Where’s the light?”

“Don’t trust the light, even if you think you see it. Can be a sun or a train. And more often than not, it’s the latter.”

“A train? Down here? Hah... Jesus. You’re losing it too huh?”

“Well... I am you.”

“Okay... then... what should I be looking forward to?

“Dunno. Just close your eyes.”

“Hah... so dark down here, can’t tell if my eyes are closed anyways.”

“Hope then. Make your own light. Part of your programming too. Twigs and kindle’s built in you.”

“Heh... hey...”

“Hmm?”

“I’m scared of falling.”

“That’s okay. I’ll still be here.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

“I love you.”

“Alright alright... don’t get like that. Just remember to throw down the rope once you get out.”

“Will do.”

"I miss you, Daddy! When are you comin' home?"

"Soon, Emily, I'll be home soon. Please, don't worry."

"I'm not worried!"

"Okay, my little M&M. How's Mom? Is there anything she's not telling me?"

"She's worried, Daddy. I can see it."

"I know, honey. It's just...complicated. Are you being good though? Helping out?"

"Yes! Today, I helped Mom with the dishes! And, after, we got ice cream!"

"Your day sounds better than mine."

"But aren't you in that desert place? Af, Af-gan-stand?"

"It's Afghanistan silly, but yes. It's a desert, but not very much fun. And before you ask-there's no tumbleweeds, I already looked for you."

"Aww, why not? I wanted one."

"Hey, sorry, Emily, but Daddy has to go. The other guys need a turn on the phone. I'll talk to you soon though, tell Mom I'll call her as soon as I can."

"Okay, Daddy, I miss you."

"Goodbye."

"Bye!"

"One last thing, M&M."

"Mhm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too, Daddy. Can you please hurry home? Mom looks really sad."

"I promise."

“I do not want to die.”

“No one wants to die, my friend but we all do.”

“I—I mean, I don’t want to die—like this.”

“It isn’t so bad. You won’t feel much pain. I promise.”

“But there will be some, yes?”

“Death is like love, to experience and appreciate it more, you do have to suffer, somewhat.”

“But I was told there would be an injection.”

“You were told wrong. Now please, hold still while I tighten these straps.”

“How—how—how long does the pain last?”

“Usually less than five to maybe seven to ten seconds. Technically, you’ll be dead the second it starts.”

“I guess that’s not so bad, then. But what if I don’t die? What then?”

“That’s never happened, but—if it did, you’ll have wished you were dead. You’ll become nothing more than a squashed tomato.

“Okay, straps are tight enough and I just got the sign that it’s time.”

“I guess then that ….”

“Why you cryin’, boy?”

“Mama, it’s my birthday. You said you wasn’t gonna drink today. For me. You said we was gonna go to the park. You, me and Dani. You promised, mama.”

“Don’t you be tellin’ me what I said, boy.”

“Ooooow!”

“Now see what you done, boy! Made me hit your sister with that glass. I’m gonna beat you boy! Making your sista’ cry like that.”

“But mama...Mama! Don’t!”

“I hate you, boy! You hear me! I hate you! You ain’t nothin’ and ain’t never gonna be nothin’! It’s your fault we stuck in this dirty piece of shit hole. Weren’t for you, I’d be a famous movie star by now. I’d be somebody...Why the hell we gonna celebrate your sorry ass coming into this world. You ain’t been nothin’ but trouble since you was born.”

“Mama! Please! Stop! Mama!”

****

“Well, go on then. Get up. Change your clothes and put something clean on your sister. We best be going to the park while it’s still light out.

“Boy? You hear me, boy?”

“He’s not moving, mama.”

“Boy, stop your playing. You better get on up off that floor now if you wanna be going to that park for your birthday.

“Boy?”

“Mama?”

“Yes, baby?”

“Teddy is bloodin’.”

“Oh baby. What I gone and done? What I gone and done?”

"I told you this was a bad idea."

"You don't get to talk."

"Excuse me? Which one of us dug a ten foot hole in Mrs. Hudkin's-"

"Are you insane? We're going to get caught! At the very least, quiet down. Honestly."

"Hmph."

...

"Okay but how are we going to get ourselves out of this?"

"Well assuming that she stays out of town for as long as she said, all we have to do is- Holy Crap"

"Um, how about we finish this later."

"Agreed."

"John James Peter Paul & Mary! My pricks embarrassed. Or trying to tell me something scary"

"What seems to be eating at you there Ted?"

"I dyed a log red Jed. I got a bowl a bloody murder. To some degree I’ve never heard of"

"Eat beets did you then Ted?"

"WTF! How can you think of food at a time like this Jed? You find me near dead, red, and defecating appetizing then do you?"

"Wipe your ass, pull up your pants, and buckle your belt shit for brains. Have you another bowl of borscht and a beer then Ted?"

"What? Yeah of course Jed. You wouldn’t worry yourself then? Cause I’m fucking horrified"

"Nah! I wouldn’t beat yourself up about a bit of food coloring Ted"

"Ow!"

"What… where are we?"

"Owww, I don’t know. I can’t see anything."

"I know, it’s pitch dark."

"What was that?"

"Nothing, I bumped something. A little rock? Yeah, here it is."

"Is this a cave?"

"I think so, or something like that. The stone’s really cold."

"Wait, shhh."

"I don’t hear anything."

"Me neither. Nothing. Except us breathing."

"Kind of weird, huh?"

"I don’t understand how we got here."

"We must have fallen down a hole, or something."

"I don’t remember falling. Just stabbing myself on this rock."

"We were walking on the new trail, right? I don’t know, I feel all weird and fuzzy."

"Yeah, yeah, that’s right. But I don’t remember falling."

"Something must have happened. This is so weird."

"Maybe we hit our heads. Except it’s not my head that hurts, it’s my hand. I think it’s bleeding."

"Wait, where are you? The echoes make the sounds all weird… there you are."

"Careful!"

"It’s fine, it’s fine. Which hand is it?"

"Here— don’t touch it! Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s bleeding."

"Press on it, that’s supposed to help. Where did we fall down from? I can’t see anything."

"I really don’t remember falling."

"We must have fallen, how else would we have gotten down here?"

"I don’t know, I’m just saying it’s weird! Why can’t we remember it?"

"There must be a way out up there somewhere, I’m going to try to climb up."

"Wait, wait. Don’t just leave me here!"

"We have to find a way out."

"Well… just keep talking to me, okay?"

"Okay. I’ll just climb up on this rock here… I really can’t see anything. I think I can get up this way?"

"Be careful."

"Yes, yes, this should work. Here… is this stable? I think so…"

"Oh my gosh, you’d better not fall on me."

"I won’t fall on you. Wait, I think I can see something. Yes… yes! There’s light up there, that must be where we came down here from."

"How could we have gotten all the way down here without noticing? Do you not remember anything?"

"Nope. Just walking on the trail. And then sort of sliding on the rocks a bit, down here in the dark."

"That’s so weird! This is so weird. It’s freaking me out."

"I know."

"So what, is there an opening up there?"

"Yeah, I think so. I’m getting closer."

"How am I supposed to get up there?"

"Just climb up, you can do it. Your hand’s not that bad, is it?"

"It hurts."

"I can see it, it’s definitely an opening! There’s grass and leaves and stuff out there."

"I’m going to be stuck down here!"

"No you won’t, we’ll figure out how to get you out. I’ll just climb up on here… whoa. This is not the new trail."

"What is it? Are you out?"

"I’ve never seen this place before. And the sky’s all weird. Where are we?"

"Get me out of here!"

"Come on, just climb up, you can do it, follow my voice. The rocks are pretty stable, it’s really not too hard."

"Okay, okay. I’m coming. Ow."

"You okay?"

"No! I’m mysteriously stuck in a hole! And you said the sky’s all weird!"

"We’ll be fine, just come up here. Can you see the light yet?"

"No… yes! Oh, there, I think I can see the opening. Stick your hand down."

"Can you see it?"

"Um… yes! I’m almost there… yes!"

"Come on, I’ll help pull you up. Almost there."

"Whoa, what is this place?"

"Do you think we found a magic portal?"

"Oh, come on."

"Well, look at this place!"

"Okay, yeah, maybe we found a magic portal."

"Let’s explore!"

"Fine. We’d just better not be stuck here forever."

H: You shot me.

E: Yeah, sorry. But you did kidnap me. And were planning on killing me.

H: What? I was going to turn you in.

E: Maybe. Either way, I couldn't risk just sitting around in that motel. Crow.

H: He has no idea where you are.

E: He was minutes away in Africa. I even passed him on my way out.

H: He didn't see you?

E: Have you already forgotten?

H: Right, possession. So you got away cleanly. You didn't have to fucking shoot me!

E: Oh my god, I'm sorry. Your leg will be fine.

H: Ugh. I can't believe you abducted me from the hospital.

E: You agreed to come.

H: You didn't exactly give me much choice.

E: Yet you'd still rather come with me than risk being arrested by Crow?

H: Yes.

E: Now you see why I shot you.