It's inspiring to reflect on how far I've come in my journey. A few years ago, I found myself ensnared in a web of habits that were dragging down my well-being: pornography consumption, frequent masturbation, and smoking. These behaviors felt like towering barriers, monopolizing my thoughts, sapping my energy, and leaving me in a constant state of guilt and disconnection.

Recognizing that these habits would spoil my life I confided in a friend and joined recovery groups. Others' stories fueled my determination. Over time, healthier habits replaced the old, with mindfulness easing cravings. Breaking free seemed distant, but each small victory weakened their grip.

Challenges emerged, akin to learning math, but setbacks meant progress. Slowly, cravings faded, and healthier choices solidified into lasting habits, reshaping life.

Fast-forward to the present, and I'm confronted with a fresh challenge: making and saving money. This endeavour parallels the struggle of conquering perplexing academic subjects, necessitating strategic planning and unwavering commitment.

With the same tenacity that empowered me to overcome my former habits, I've delved into learning about budgeting, investing, and uncovering avenues for bolstering my income. Much like tackling a complex math equation, understanding the intricacies of financial stability demands patience and a hunger for knowledge.

Additionally, my daily practices underwent a transformation: incorporating fasting, meditation, physical activity, and reading. These rituals promote equilibrium and lucidity, fostering not only physical fitness and emotional health but also intellectual advancement.

Succeeding encompasses more than just giving up negative behaviors; it stands as evidence of one's internal resilience. Every victory emits optimism, extending beyond the initial challenges. Recognizing advancement and fostering personal growth portrays a lively and satisfying tomorrow.

Finally I believe that life is nothing without struggles and problems, this is what makes life amazing. cheers to the struggles of life and overcoming the challenges that life throws at us.

As I sit and stare at the moonlit sky,

My heart aches with sorrow, my mind awry.

Memories of you flood my mind,

Of all the love we left behind.

The silence is deafening, the pain so real,

I long for your touch, your kiss, your feel.

But you are gone, and I am alone,

With nothing but the memories we've known.

I close my eyes and try to sleep,

But all I see is you, in my dreams so deep.

I wish that I could turn back time,

And make you mine, and make us shine.

But fate had other plans, it seems,

And now my heart forever gleams.

So I'll hold on to the love we shared,

And keep it close, for you were always there.

#poetry #poem #wordporn

An empty page stretches out before me,

A blank canvas, stark and clean.

It longs for words to fill its emptiness,

To bring it meaning, to make it seen.

It aches for a story to call its own,

For a voice to give it breath.

It yearns for the ink of a pen to flow,

To bring it life, to give it depth.

The empty page is a mystery,

A puzzle waiting to be solved.

It holds the secrets of the future,

And the tales yet to be told.

So let the words come streaming forth,

And dance across the page.

Let them paint a picture of the world,

And let their beauty never age.

For the empty page is not truly empty,

When it is filled with thoughts and dreams.

It is a window to the soul,

And a door to all that gleams.

#poetry #poem #writing #wordplay

I like you,

I swear,

From your lovely smile,

The smell of your hair,

To the clothes you wear,

And when I look into your eyes,

I get sucked into the murky waters I need clearance,

Hit and run over me like you’ve got no insurance,

And I miss your smile like a deadline,

Thinking of you,

My heart slowly wears and tears,

And everything seems unclear,

I don’t know where I belong in your world,

Because you give nothing in your words.

Looking at your credentials,

Everyone sees you’ve got potential,

And as my boys would say “you’re wife material”,

But like Courage,

I’m cowardly and from nowhere,

And at this stage,

I need you here,

Like a surgeon,

Tear my chest apart,

Find my heart,

Hold my heart in your hands,

Let it beat for you,

Let it tell you all the plans I have in store for you,

Because as much as I try, I can’t,

These words can barely express how I fell inside,

And neither can they flow out of my tongue.

When she said it was over

I nearly got a heart attack

She let those hoes tear what we had apart

Told her to ignore them from the start

Now I suffer from a broken heart

Now she’s gone

I’m all alone

King without a queen

Such a lonely throne

We had a home

She left it clean

Without a thing.

Now she’s gone

Left my heart torn

Seems like yesterday

Since my lover went away

Days go by

Without a simple hi

I guess it’s really goodbye.

Praying to a sky all black

Wishing stars could talk back

Staring at my phone like she’ll call back

But last night I feel like probably ended all that

By now she would’ve texted in all caps

Then another one tryna take it all back

Saying fuck you, I miss you, I hate you

Now she’s gone

I did her wrong

Never meant to make her sad

Or treat her bad

Never wanted to see her cry

But I’d always lie.

Regret haunts my mind

I couldn’t see the sign 

I took her love for granted

I thought we was fine

Now it’s too late for her

To turn around and see what she’s left behind

If I could turn back the hands of time

I’d say the right things

Just to make sure she’s mine

On sleepless nights

I sit and reminisce

Of the fun things I miss

Of the crazy things we did

Of foolish fights

After school

We thought we was cool

Walking home wounded

Mama called me stupid

And whooped my ass.

On sleepless nights

I sit and think

Of crazy dogfights

Of sliding in mud

With our bare behinds

You’d have thought we was mad

I’d break the bank

For a chance to rewind

Knowing pretty well it can’t be

I do miss my childmind

Carefree and full of bliss

I was really happy.

#poetry

Saw you from far away

Holding his hand in yours, like our way

Caressing him gently

And I can’t help but cry silently

I feel some jealousy

And I know it’s hard to say

That I don’t feel a thing

Some tiny ping

Deep down in the chambers of my heart

Or is it my brain

I can’t help but think

Is it always going to be like this?

#Love #Relationships #Poetry

Sat on a cold verandah

She caught my eye

When she walked out that door

And walked by

Two children in tow

In a short dress

That swayed to her flow

She swung a glimpse at me

I was shell shocked

Crawled back to my shell

Her sheer beauty

The twinkle in her eyes

The simplicity of her smile

She hunts my mind

When I close my eyes

I see her in all her splendor

Give me a canvas

I’ll draw her beautiful brown eyes

I’ll show you her brown eyes

Children in tow

She’s like a proud lioness

She caught my eye

Sweating profusely I tried to wipe my brow to no avail. Today the sun seemed to be a bit closer to earth, and it was scorching our bald heads. The land was barren, and the mirage continued its peculiar dance. The chains on our hands and legs were heavy and hot. Mopping my brow for the umpteenth time, I suddenly realised that it was probably the last time I would be using my hands as a pair. My mind raced back to all the things I’d ever done with my hands both good and bad. I thought where I had been and what I had done, the souls I’d touched and the ones I’d destroyed. A terrifying scream startled me jolting me out of my deep reverie.

I was now alive at the moment. I could feel my breath, I could smell the strange odor of feces, urine and sweat mixed with blood. The stench was choking me. The crowd cheered loudly as the butcher pumped up his axe in the air while doing a celebratory jig.  The crowd was baying for blood, a look at their faces and you could see they were relishing everything that was going on. I was left wondering what kind of frenzy they would be in once the beheading started.

Up in the very important box you could see Mulei and Maria his wife and their entourage were enjoying the scene. My heart was now beating loudly like the tum tum drums of South Africa threatening to bust out of my chest. I felt like I could die. I swallowed hard as next guy in line was unchained and escorted by two humongous men to axe man’s arena despite the struggle he put up his hands were held firmly on the blood soaked log.

Meanwhile, the axe man was revving the crowd up with a small performance with his massive blood stained axe. With a wry smile on his face the king gave the signal and in a fraction of a second the axe was on the prisoners’ hand, cracking his bones while splashing blood all over. Simultaneously, the prisoners’ screams of pain were silenced by the rapturous applause of the crowd.

Next in line was an old man, and I was after him. His chains were undone. He walked slowly with a determined step and knelt before the axe man. Suddenly king Mulei stood up and with a wave of his hand the crowd went silent, but my heart thundered on, for a moment I thought the other prisoners could hear it.

“Citizens of Tuaa, your king greets you, today we have to appease our gods” Bokonos’ voice broke the hot afternoon air and reverberated around the amphitheatre.

The crowd roared and clapped with excitement.

“Today thieves’ hands will be chopped off so that they will never steal again” he continued and the crowd burst into another rapturous applause.

Looking around, I could see the last prisoner's on the ground, and it was still twitching.

“This man’s hands will be chopped off for trying to grope the queen, he deserves to die but being a merciful king I will let him live but with a warning.”

Another loud cheer met his last word. A broad smile crept from cheek to cheek on the queen’s face as she clapped to the words of the king. With a wave of his hand, the crowd fell silent again and that eerie feeling that my heartbeat could be heard returned. Suddenly the old man’s voice broke the silence.

“I’d rather die today,” he said resolutely.

I was taken aback, and so was everybody else in attendance. The king Mulei trying to show who is in command retorted “so be it you fool”

The crowd went ballistic again. The old man with a determined face scanned the crowd, the king and then bowed. The axe man was now doing his pre-beheading jig and both he and the crowd were loving it. King Mulei watched with a wry smile plastered on his face. This stupid old man had disrupted his plans but the show had to go on. Mulei let the axe man dance for a while, a tactic he used to fill the crowd with anticipation. Then he finally gave the signal and with one clean swing the axe landed on the old man’s neck which dissociated from his body. It rolled on the floor spilling blood until it rested near the pair of hands that were still twitching.

The crowd was ecstatic. Warm blood that had splashed on me was now trickling down my face and bare chest. The old man’s head lay in a pool of blood with flies swarming all over for a taste of fresh blood. The scene was ghastly I nearly vomited, but I managed to keep myself together. I was next and this sent cold chills down my spine, my feet were like wobbly like jelly. As the old man’s headless body was being dragged away I observed that the queen relished every moment of this.

Suddenly a large bust of wind tore up the amphitheatre and black clouds engulfed the blue sky. It started getting dark. Everybody was both surprised and confused, you could see it on their faces. The place fell silent that you could hear a pin drop. In a jiffy the old man’s head started floating, and his eyes turned pure white. Everybody was shocked, some fainted and others got on their heels and fled, the courageous ones were left behind to witness this peculiar event. The head was now midair spinning around slowly occasionally throwing bits of clotted blood.

“Today we will witness the end of Mulei’s reign” his shrill voice was deafening.

The guards had dropped their spears and scampered away. The old man’s head swirled around for a while, finally settling on me. His white eyes elicited no emotion, I stood there too afraid to move, my feet were heavy, and I had no energy.

“You are our saviour, the head said.

In an instant the twitching hand came alive. It felt its way, took the keys that had been dropped by the guards. The hand unlocked my hands as well as the other prisoners who were still shell shocked but they immediately took to their heels. I tried to follow them but I couldn't Some magnetic force kept me rooted on the spot. Pandemonium broke out as soon as the head and hand fell down and a lightning bolt hit the very important person’s box.

I could see the king Mulei, his wife and their entourage trying to escape. What happened next still baffles me to date. I was struck by lightning on the top of my scalp, but I felt no pain. Instead, I experienced the old man’s pain. I could clearly see what he had been through. His family had been tortured and killed by Mulei’s men. Then I was taken back to the memory of the incident that had caused his suffering and death. He was the king’s cup bearer. As he was serving the queen her wine, he accidentally spilled some on her chest. In the process of trying to wipe some of it off with a cloth, the queen let out a scream, claiming that the old man was groping her.

I wasn’t in control of my body. I picked up a panga and a sword and made my way up toward the very important person’s box. I was moving with extreme pace and athleticism that it shocked me. Mulei wasn’t in the box when I got there, but I caught a glimpse of his entourage. I started to run in their direction, and soon I was upon them as they made their way to the awaiting chariot.

I could spot the king now. A sudden spur of energy filled my right arm and I flung the spear which soared through the air and hit King Mulei on his back protruding from his chest. As he fell down, I could see Marias’ inaudible screams. Suddenly I blacked out.

#shortstory #writing #story #IamWriting #writtingcommunity

My days start late and end early

Locked in the house

Slumped on the couch

I feel weary

I can’t step out because of fear

Fear of the police and the disease

They say I should wear a mask when I walkout

But it’s so tight I can’t let a breath out

And when I hear someone cough somewhere

In a panic, I look over there

Wondering is this my day?

Or from the virus will I escape?

And head back home

Or will I end up locked up in a dome?

For days till the virus fades.

#poetry #poem #writing #COVID19 #Coronavirus