Be authentic, don't you dare

I quarrel with myself

I have tried for many years

to be somebody else

The voices started in my dreams

A whisper deep within

This is not the life for you

But wait, I'll tell you when

Now…

Come and jump right off this ledge

A death wish? My heart freaks

I swear I feel the Universe

shake me when it speaks

Will I ever reach the ground

and find the reason why?

You told me I should do this

yet I'm fighting for my life?

I have taken many risks

So please pardon my doubt

I am learning how to trust

when there isn't a way out

What kind of fool would take this leap?

I wonder all the time

I guess I've got nothing to lose

except logical mind

Finding balance

Mind, body, and spirit

To generate goodness

Give back to the collective

An opportunity to learn and grow

Bless and be blessed

Love and be loved

To share unique gifts

Doing what brings joy

just a little speck in the universe

trying to make it a little brighter

I have a hard time going with the flow. I'm always good and grateful when I'm smooth sailing. But then a setback steps in and I'm thrown off. I'm consciously embarking on a spiritual journey right now and I can't seem to get a hold on my thought processes. I know these set backs are only helping me. I know they are laying ground for my mind to overcome self-limiting beliefs. But, it sucks nonetheless. Setbacks are nothing but hidden opportunities to transcend negative thoughts. So I have to learn to be grateful for them too.

I'm happy.

How is that so?

Where did the pain go?

It's like I woke up one morning-

Poof.

A little lighter.

It happens everytime.

When memories destroy my mind.

The angels know when I've had enough.

Then, they set me free.

Underneath

A moonlit sky

Hesitation

In his eyes

Unsure if

The time was right

I knew then

That he'd be mine

A gentle kiss

Like time stood still

Sincerity

and faulty will

We always talk

Remember when

Everyday

We kiss again

Well, I thought I would escape this winter without a dark time. I have been doing so well. I've been writing everyday in one form or another. Keeping my house up. Making time for nature. I was so close. So close to calling this a successful winter. It's been 5 months since I've been depressed, and I attribute that to following my dream of writing. But, the love eludes me when I'm depressed. It takes everything in me to write. I don't like to write about negative things. I thought I had finally defeated it. It always passes, as I've been through this time and time again. I consider myself resilient and I'm trying to have some compassion for myself as I would anyone else. It'll get better… But until then, I'm just going to sleep and function in the best way I can. And, I'll just keep writing. Thanks for letting me vent!

Fifty years of wedded bliss

Two as one, old and grey

A lifetime

Lessons learned

Triumphs, excitement

Wading through struggles

Children growing

An abundance

that only love can know

Who could think

that life would pass by

Fleeting

Coming to a close

Knowing one will wait for the other

Patiently

A patience well learned

Two wrinkled hands

held for the last time

Not afraid to leave this world

but afraid for the one love

whom is left behind

Like she's said many times in this life

"Tell me it's okay."

I consider myself lucky

to write about such things

To have found such a sweetness

and all the joy he brings

The past twelve years we've struggled

just to make ends meet

From first cars to apartments

and miles under our feet

Tromping through the forest

or footprints in the sand

We did not need money

to live life hand in hand

All the sweetest memories

A bliss in every way

I have found my better half

whom I love more each day