The day began with a flan and a can of German marzipan. Then a man from southern Japan brought his caravan back from Afghanistan with a plan to marry Diane. But she ran into a span of fake tan trouble. Rather than marry a crayon color, he began a new plan to see Uzbekistan, maybe see an exotic abominable snowman. 

“What’ll it be?”

“Whatever’s cheapest.”

“That would be the water.”

“Mix it strong then.”

The bartender chuckled a bit as he poured his sullen-eyed patron a beer. The cheapest he had.

“Bad day?”

“Ha. That’s one way to describe it.”

Sensing the conversation had run its course; the bartender turned away and began to clean up for the night. It was nearing one and, aside from the two of them, the small pub was empty.

“Is this what you saw yourself doing ten years ago?”

The bartender paused for a second before starting to wheeze violently in a way that resembled laughter.

He swung a browned towel over his shoulder and steadied himself against the bar.

“Look, fella,” he said, grabbing an empty glass and filling it for himself. “Uh, what’s your name?”

“Thomas.”

“Alright, Thomas. I’m Vincent. Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

Vincent took his time knocking back a few swigs before continuing.

“Alright, see, you gotta understand one thing: ten years ago, I was a dumbass. I certainly wasn’t the same snapping gentleman you see standing before you today.”

Thomas stared, despite himself.

“I will say though, I was a good spot better looking. Certainly was not bad with the ladies, if you know what I mean,” he wheezed again. “Didn’t have a care in the world. Worked a job here and there. A good day for me was havin’ enough money after rent and some food for a whore.”

“What about now?”

“Ain’t a bad thought.”

Thomas was silent for a moment.

“Hey, I never said I quit bein’ stupid.”

He took another swig. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand he added, “I just ain’t as naïve as I was.”

“What happened?”

“Wrong question, mate. It ain’t what happened. It’s who. Helen happened.”

“Helen?”

“My Helen.”

Thomas waited for Vincent to continue.

“My Helen, well, she was a whore.”

“Seems a little harsh.”

Vincent laughed. “She wouldn’t let you call her nothin’ else. Slap you if you did. Didn’t like delusions, you see. Said reality was enough of a bitch on its own.”

“How’d you meet her then?”

“Like I said, life was good as long as I had me enough money left over at the end of each day for a whore. And for a while I did. Not sure how long I was messing around before I picked up Helen. Didn’t realize she was different at first though. Nah took me until three or four whores later.”

“What do you mean?”

“Fuckin’ just wasn’t the same anymore, you know? It wasn’t enough. It didn’t do enough for me. And then that damn whore kept crossing my mind,” he shook his head. “I went out looking for her. Think part of me was hopin’ seeing her would break whatever fuckin’ spell she had on me.”

“I’m guessing it didn’t quite go as planned?”

“Goddamn right it didn’t.” Vincent burped. “I was a sucker gone mad. I wanted to get her out of that situation, to save her.”

“What a thought, huh? Hell, she probably made more than I did.” Vincent began to wheeze so violently that he spilled his beer and nearly toppled over.

Thomas waited until the wheezing stopped. “What happened?”

“Well, she laughed me off at first. Can’t really blame her. But I was persistent, bought every hour of her time that I could. Even took my first steady job at this hellhole. Must have proven somethin’ ’cause she came around and gave me a chance.

“Probably shouldn’t have. I never could get her out of there. Off the streets, I mean. But I was a dreamer. Unlike her, I didn’t let things like reality knock any sense into me.”

“What do you mean?”“I’d tell her I was gonna buy her off the streets one day. That she wouldn’t have to sell her body no more. I’d support her like a proper husband should. Pretty sure she knew it weren’t goin’ to happen, but she stayed with me all the same.”

“You still love her, don’t you?”

“More than anythin’.”

“What happened?”

“Fate I guess. Found her in the alleyway leaving work one mornin’. Police ruled it an overdose or somethin’. I told ’em she weren’t into that stuff. That they needed to investigate. Nah. A whore’s a whore and that was it. Police ain’t gonna waste their time and resources on someone like her.”

“Goddamn, man. Why do you still work here?”

He shrugged, “they don’t have no one else to close the bar.”

“Damn.”

“How’s about you then?”

“What? My girl?”

“If you have one.”

“I did.”

Vincent raised his glass, “share away.”

“Well, she was older than me, not by much, but enough. Her name was Elizabeth but she went by Mary. Never did tell me why.

“She was tall, for a woman, and always wore heels. Never saw her without. She was always up with the latest fashion trend. I swear she’d set them half the damn time.

“Five years. Five years and nearly every night we went out. She was never satisfied with me or my attention. It was never enough. She needed whole nights of never having to buy a drink and swinging between more dance partners than I could keep track of.”

“You’re kiddin’.”

“Wish I was. In the beginning, I’d fight it. Threaten. Fight them in the street. It never did shit. I’d end up in the back of the police cruiser. She’d never leave the bar. I’d come home the next morning and she’d look up from some fashion magazine and ask me where I’d been. So I stopped.”

“Five years?”

“Five years.”

“Why you stay with her so damn long?”

“I was a fool.”

“I take it she’s gone now?”

“Yup,” Thomas drained his glass. “Fell in love and left.”

“She didn’t love you?”

“Not a bit.”

“But you loved her?”

“Too much.”

Vincent took the glass from Thomas. “Tell you what, this round is on me.”