Defying Gravity
“It’s not scientifically possible!” I screamed, as I plummeted into the sky. “I can’t be falling up!”
My friend, falling right alongside me, crossed her arms as her hair whipped in her face. “Clearly it is. We’ve just misunderstood gravity!”
“How did this happen?” And how as my friend being so utterly calm about it. “We’re going to suffocate! Freeze to death!” Space was flying toward us at an impossible speed.
But, as we shot past the atmosphere and into its vast expanse of planets and stars, I found I still had air in my lungs to shout. “This is a dream. It defies logic, science and every possible truth in the world!”
We were floating in space, now, which seemed a perfectly comfortable temperature.
My friend rubbed her chin in thought. “If a scientific theory as basic as gravity is proven wrong, is it still science?”
I spun mid-space to stare at her. “What?”
“I mean,” she mused. “We use science to explain the world. But what if that’s an incomplete explanation? What if there’s another way to explain the world that we haven’t even thought of. Something that can explain what’s happening to us, right now?”
“Uhhh…”
“Something beyond logic, truth, or even the supernatural.”
“I don’t know,” I said. “But can you hurry up and figure it out. I want to get back down to earth.”
“Oh, I don’t think I can figure it out. I was just…wondering.” She gave me a silly grin, hair now floating freely around her. “Looks like we have a long time to figure it out, though. Provided we don’t age or starve in space.”
Great,I thought, as we continued to float through nothingness. Just great.
White satin ribbons.
And all of those
pretty stolen moments
and tender exchanges
will be what remains....
They will be forever
etched in my memory
and safely tucked away
in the depths
of my sorrowful reality,
a silent scar of
an unrequited love.
I should leave them be now
and not taint them
with crippling longing
and naïve hope.
I should wrap them up gently,
with pretty white satin ribbons
and leave them in a place
inside of my heart
so deep and so dark,
that I will not be
able to find them again.
And maybe one day
if I’m whole again,
when I miss my light (you),
I will find the strength
to visit them again.
~ Love.
Friday Night Dance
I wake up on time for school. I wasn't early like the previous day. I get ready and Katy is actually less annoying. Nia's mother prepared breakfast and I had time this morning to sit down and eat it. She made a fried egg and toast with a glass of orange juice. I could certainly get used to some home cooking. By this time I pretty much knew the drill, once I get out the door Lidia and I walk to school together and talk mostly about boys.
The school is a bit more excited today than the previous few days I was here and I am pretty much sure the cause is because of the dance that is planned for tonight. The girls talk of nothing else than who they were going with and what they were wearing. The guys talk about, well I don't know what the guys talk about because I was stuck listening to what the girls are talking about.
The entire day is a complete waste of time as far as I am concerned. The entire day is filled with dance related drama and I suffer through it the best I can. Lidia is alternating between being okay and breaking down and I do my best to try and prop up her self-worth. The dance is being held in the main gym and the whole village shows up for it. There are decorations everywhere. There is finger food and refreshments and there is more than enough parents to make sure that the conduct by the students is appropriate. The one thing I noticed about this place is that the parents paid a lot of attention to what was going on. They didn't seem self-absorbed in their own lives.
Lidia and I sit in some chairs sipping on punch. I would expect the punch to be spiked but somehow I'm thinking that's not going to be happening here. Lidia didn't really want to come and she is feeling sorry for herself.
A guy named Brad asks me to dance. I don't want to but Lidia pushes me out onto the dance floor anyway. The music is slow and I put my arm on his shoulder and he put his arm around my waist. It was kind of like the dancing you would see in an old movie.
"You look really nice tonight." Brad says paying me a compliment.
"You don't look too bad yourself." I respond. It feels really weird dancing with a guy and I try to play it cool.
"Since you're not with Bobby, why don't we slip out of here?" Brad offers.
"I'm sorry I can't" I answer, "I have to keep an eye on Lidia."
"That's right, I heard Tom really broke her heart. That's tough. Is she going to be alright?" He asks.
"Eventually" I respond.
"Well, you take care." He says when the dance is over. He leaves me and goes over to a different girl and dances with her. I imagine he is giving her the same offer he gave me and when I see them sneak out together my suspicions are confirmed. They aren’t gone long enough for anything to happen though. The parent's here are really on top of things.
I notice that Bobby didn't waste any time. He must have been stringing somebody along to get another date so quickly or maybe he just has them lining up outside his door. The girl he is with isn't as attractive as Nia is but she still looks really good. She had blonde hair and blue eyes and is wearing a blue dress. I walk over to him.
"Hi Bobby" I say greeting him warmly.
"Oh hi" Bobby responds. He seems a little uncomfortable.
"It's okay." I reassure him, "There's no reason why you shouldn't have a good time because of me."
"Are you sure you don't mind?" Bobby asks. He must have thought Nia would be upset seeing him here with another girl or maybe he wants Nia to be jealous.
"Of course not but I would be upset if you didn't save a dance for me." I answer. I think I'm really getting the hang of this. Being Nia gives me a confidence that I have never experienced before.
"Sure, I'll catch you later." He says trying to play it cool.
I walk over to where I had left Lidia but she isn't there. I calmly scan the dance floor but I don't see her. I thought the only place left she could be is in the restroom. I hate going into the girl's restroom. It makes me feel really uncomfortable but I go in anyway. I don't see anybody but I hear gentle sobbing coming from one of the stalls.
"Lidia" I call but get no answer.
"I know you're in here." I say again. There is still no response.
"Okay, well I'm just going to have to wait here until you come out." I say in a stern voice.
After several minutes of just standing there. Lidia comes out of the stall. Her eyes are red. I put my arms around her and hold her close.
"Tell me what happened" I say gently.
"I saw Tom dancing with someone else and I couldn't help myself" She says still gently sobbing. Girls are so emotional.
"I'll walk you home." I tell her. Lidia nods her head. With my arm still around her I lead her out of the building and walk her home. When we reach Lidia's house I escort her to her room.
We sit on her bed. I have my arm around her and she is still crying. With her body so close to mine I start to have a hard time controlling myself. The thing is, is that her face is inches away from my face. The scent coming off of her skin is driving me crazy. I am doing everything I can not to kiss her. Then I think I could kiss her on the cheek. That's something that girl's do right? Sometimes they kiss each other on the cheek. I wasn't sure about that but I reach the point where I can't control myself any longer and just reach over a bit and give her a sweet kiss on the cheek. I wait a few minutes to see what Lidia's reaction is. She remains unchanged so I decide to give her another one. I feel really low kissing a girl in another girl's body.
I reach over to kiss Lidia but this time she turns her head in my direction and instead of kissing her on the cheek our lips find each other. Lidia doesn't pull away either and I'm thinking that maybe Lidia has been hiding in the closet. I know she is really shaken up over Tom though so maybe she is just confused. After our lips linger for a few minutes longer I'm the one who pulls away.
"I'm so sorry." I tell her, "I didn't mean to kiss you on the lips."
"it’s okay" She responds, "I kind of liked it." Nia would flip if she knew her best friend had been hiding in the closet. At least I think she would. I was really torn as to what to
do next. I wanted to kiss Lidia so bad but I also didn't want to ruin their friendship.
"What do you mean kind of?" I protest. OMG I'm flirting with Lidia now while she's vulnerable. Have I no shame?
"Maybe you should kiss me again then" She answers. She's flirting back! I should nip this in the bud right now but I don't. I move closer to Lidia and we press our lips together again. I can taste her lipstick.
"How was that?" I ask.
"That was good" She says breathlessly, "You better go. We'll talk about it tomorrow." She isn't crying anymore and she has a nice smile on her face.
"Yeah, your right." I respond, "I'll see you tomorrow."
I walk home. I am feeling pretty amazing and despicable at the same time. I ruined Nia's friendship with Lidia because I couldn't control myself. I am such an idiot. When I get home my parents ask me about the dance. I tell them that I had to leave early because Lidia was upset and they tell me that I am a good friend. If they only knew.
When I go to sleep I wake up in my own room. I check the 'tin can' thing and a new scene has become clear. I can see Nia and Lidia kissing in Lidia's bedroom. Of all the scenes that could have appeared it had to be that one.
Ageless
I still devour the voices
grab the sky to embrace it
rage the world ablaze
snuff out torrents of rain
sail the squall of tempests
I still devour the voices
dance in youth’s wild abandon
pluck the strings of truth
tear my soul in pieces
to let life into my heart
I still devour the voices
holding spring to my bosom
seizing the pennant of spirit
swallowing its nectar deeply
imbibing the dregs of youth
Fame
I scream your name from the unlit
depths of some squalid mosh pit,
along with countless faceless faces
with fire in their eyes
and water in their lungs.
Ever-evading mistress,
we screech your name in every octave,
hoping one note will melt your stone
and send your hand to pluck us
from this helpless Hell.
But you never descend into our darkness,
never wrestle us from the shadows.
And so we curse your name
with our quaking rage
while our flames are still aflicker.
We choke on our maggot dreams;
our hoarse voices crackle like
logs in an overnight campfire,
until the sound is extinguished
and our lips fall silent.