It puts a smile on my face to see a smile of another

Whether it's the birth of a child or a chance to see your brother after he's been locked away for being a cocaine smuggler smuggling crack rock to his mother, oh brother

It puts a smile on my face again and again to see you always win

It puts a smile on my face to at least see you grin

It puts a smile on my face to see how hard your life is for you to smile but you smile anyway

Especially since the other day you were contemplating suicide and getting away from the mayhem

You build a wall over your emotions hoping you never have to show them

But I come through with the iron fists of Jericho pummeling through every brick made to stand between you and I

Because you put the biggest smile on my face whenever I see you cry

I can wipe away your tears and tell you everything's gonna be better

So hold it together

You shine brighter than any diamond whenever it glistens

And even if you aren't a Christian I can preach to you that blessings come in an instant

See no matter what you go through, you'll always find a reason to smile

No matter the issue, or how long you've been it

If I can find motivation just by listening to Chance Bennett, then I'm sure you can find motivation in life from the people that's in it

You started the race, I hope you finish

I hear you've became distant from us, I hope you didn't

You're worth more than what you're putting yourself through, all those negative emotions that you've hidden

You're a part of a prophecy in this cole world

Doesn't matter if you're man, woman, boy, or girl

Everybody has a life that's worth living for, so don't settle thinking that you're a False Prophet

Don't judge yourself for the amount of money that's in your pocket

Don't be scared to be the person you've always wanted

Don't be afraid to smile in the darkest of times cause there's always a light shown in the darkest of places

In this world you're gonna see a bunch of faces

Could be a child with a deformity or a crooked smile that requires braces

Seeing them push through gives me motivation enough to make it

Because their smile is what saves me from dangerous places

No matter how many times you get knocked down, you gotta stand tall

You gotta keep getting back up no matter how many times you fall

Cause again, blessings come in an instant even when you feel like you can't finish

That's just the magic of life, the beauty of it all

People always ask me: are you okay?

and just like that, I am robbed of language.

How do I begin to explain

the monsters and demons?

I can always feel them lurking,

waiting to pounce, when I am too weak

and drained of energy to fight.

How do I tell them the problem is me? 

I am constantly at war with myself

and I always seem to lose.

I think, maybe I will win,

only to realize I let myself die.

I'm not perfect...

I'm nothing more than a disrespectful illegitimate idiot who don't give a shit about other people's feelings..

Crazy part is I thought i was the good guy by being the guy who'd let others lean on them

Shit.. well jokes on them

I can't even go a day without hurting someone close to me

Or breaking their heart

Giving them the cold shoulder and watch their life fall apart

It's shameful on my part

How can I be the savior if I can't save people who rely on me

Put their trust in me

Hold me close dear

I can't look them in their eyes and say they have nothing to fear when I'm worse than fear itself

Hateful eyes staring at me from every corner cause they know I ain't shit

Probably thinking to themselves, "You son of a bitch. I'd wish you'd hang yourself or crash your car in a ditch. Matter fact, just disappear and don't leave a note or a tip."

Who am I to argue

All I can say is that I'm sorry for not being the person you thought I was

Shit I feel sorry for my damn self

I don't even wanna show my face cause I know those eyes can burn flesh

Just their looks alone can kill whatever part of me is left

Truth is.. I don't need no one feeling bad for me

Trying to offer me pity and throw jabs at me

I attack myself enough and when I say that "I'm good" y'all can call on my bluff

Just let me be by myself... just me and myself

I'm tired of living, I cry, I hear it's easy to die

I wanna see for myself

And I don't give a damn if that may sound crazy to everyone else

I'm depressed as fuck

Stressed as fuck

Ain't no type of meds that could heal me from this bust

I don't believe in God so there goes that choice

He's probably not even listening to the sound of my voice

It won't even matter how many times that I pray

He's probably too busy tending to someone else anyway...

Honestly, I think the world is better off without me

And I wanted to find world peace, but y'all can find it without me

I wanted to grow and have children, at least 3

But that's much like world peace, it's nothing more than a dream

And my mind's spinning, this is the line finish

Truth is, I don't care how they feel about my feelings

I made up my mind, I'm going out like Robin Williams

I guess I'm not the Ordinary People of John Legend

And I've been suicidal since the day I was five

Okay, the day I was five

I've been tired of feeling like this can't stay out the fire

I should take one last moment in the mirror and reflect..

Reflect on how not perfect I am

The one person that could help me I can't even talk to cause he's dead

So what's the point of me even typing or wasting lead

When me in a coffin is a better note to read instead...

Just know it's a new day

But if you reading this

Then it's probably too late...

Im not perfect..