She gently tucks her hair behind her ears

And throws a small half smile my way

I look at her and my breath catches

And my heart begins to race

all at once she gets up

And tells me she’s got to leave

It’s late

you see

And she’s got somewhere to be

I look at the ground

It’s all I can do to stifle the oncoming rush of tears

knowing that she was once rushing off to see me

And that she once fought so fearlessly

In an effort to banish all my fears

And now she’s hurrying off to see someone else

With a new girls name ever on her lips

I feel horrid and hurt on the inside

Some things broken can never be fixed.

I want you to see me for who and what I am

And I want you to love me for it

Hold me the way that you once did

And when I cry out in the night for you

I pray you Don’t ignore it

I want you to look at me and see the galaxies in my eyes

And think nothing more of anyone else

But believing in love is to believe in a lie

A broken heart

Is mine

a personal hell.

Two lovers once lit up the sky like stars

Until the day one fell..

She looks at me

And notices the emotion I’m trying so hard to contain

Lifts my chin to look at her

And says “Darlin I’ll see you again”

I manage a smile and weakly nod my consent

And I watch her walk out the door

Leaving the air filled with her scent.

I curl up in a ball

And hold my arms tightly to my chest

I just want her back

Even seconds after she’s left

I want her back

Because out of all those whom I’ve loved

It was she who loved me best.

I want you to see me for who and what I am

And I want you to love me for it

Hold me the way that you once did

And when I cry out in the night for you

I pray you Don’t ignore it

I want you to look at me and see the galaxies in my eyes

And think nothing more of anyone else

But believing in love is to believe in a lie

A broken heart

Is mine

a personal hell.

Two lovers once lit up the sky like stars

Until the day one fell..

It’s late at night

My phone lights up with a text

She tells me how great it was to see me

And we’ll make plans for when to plan to meet up next

I can’t reply

So I put down the phone

I curl up with my pillow

And let out a moan

Before I can suppress them

The tears begin to fall

Faster and faster still

I’m beginning to bawl

I just wish things would be easier

That to see her with someone new wouldn’t tear me apart

But it does

Every single time

It breaks my goddamn heart.

She so pretty and perfect and young and cute

And she’s completely enthralled her

And what do I have in the way of intrigue?

Nothing but utter sadness and squalor.

I manage to wipe away my tears

Sit back up and grab the phone

I text her a simple smiley face

And then I leave her completely alone

To spend the night with her paramour

God

to be in that girls shoes

To know the taste of her love again

To be at the center of her heart-

It’s too bad really

The same forces that once brought us together

Were the same ones to tear us apart.

I want you to see me for who and what I am

And I want you to love me for it

Hold me the way that you once did

And when I cry out in the night for you

I pray you Don’t ignore it

I want you to look at me and see the galaxies in my eyes

And think nothing more of anyone else

But believing in love is to believe in a lie

A broken heart

Is mine

a personal hell

Two lovers once lit up the sky like stars

Until the day one fell..

Months pass and she shows up at my door

I’ve steeled myself for it at this point

I don’t shed tears for her anymore

She smiles at me

her signature smile

And requests to be let in

And I smile back at her

And my heart races from within.

We sit down on the couch

Her knees are close to mine

She takes my hand and kisses it

Looks me deep within my eyes

I swallow hard and brace myself for the words I know are coming

anticipation taking precedence over the fear

And I let out a breath of relief

As she finally says what I’ve been expecting to hear:

“We’re getting married- the wedding is in June. If you’d like to attend, we’d love to have you.”

Unbeknownst to her, I’d already heard long ago

Of the love of my life and her paramour

Spending their time together

Planning to take the long road.

My smile is tight but not forced

as I look at her and reply

“Sure I’ll be there. What day and what time?”

Her eyes light up with so much pleasure

At my willingness to participate in her decision

She can’t see the anguish in my eyes

And how carefully I’ve chosen my words-

The patience and the precision

In her world all is well

And that’s how it should be

The love of my life has finally found

The secret to being happy.

She talks for a while more

And then she gets up to go

I walk her to the door

She turns and looks at me

And suddenly it feels as it did so long ago

When it was me she went after

When I was all she could ever want

Before things changed

Before they went wrong.

She kisses my forehead

And looks at me with love

And says “it’s okay Darlin. You’ll find the one.”

Little does she know

She WAS the one

But now she’s gone and moving on

Our chapter is done.

And while saying goodbye is hard for everyone

It’s hardest to say goodbye to the one that you love.

I wanted you to see me for who and what I was

And I wanted you to love me for it

Hold me the way that you once did

And when I cried out in the night for you

I prayed you wouldn’t ignore it

I wanted you to look at me and see the galaxies in my eyes

And think nothing more of anyone else

But having believed in love is to have believed in a lie

A broken heart

Was mine

a personal hell

Two lovers once lit up the sky like stars

Until the day one fell.

-s.

i lost life,

not mine, but yours and so mine too.

i didnt know then i was losing my morning,

and my every afternoon.

i didn't know i'd be left with never ending night,

without hill or valley.

i had no idea that heaven was just eternity with you...

and hell was forever without.

i didn't know the call of the sea could ebb,

or at least it would cease to call to me...

had no idea the hills that once sung would first muffle,

then mute,

then shutter in silence against silent gail of my broken heart.

if i had any idea this feeling could be real -

simply from a few missed dinners,

or a lot of them.

bad moods, and angry hang ups.

i'd say "i love you," every moment i had you.

whisper it in your ear so it could just be ours, and never say it flatly as a conversation ender.

not say those sacred words as an empty catch-all phrase,

why did i do that?

never say them without full-gratitude that i got to say them to you

and youd be looking back in my eyes

and returning my love -

and i'd get to be the one you said "i love you to"

i was your, "i love you."

when i lost you i lost all my i love yous.

and now i have none left.

#saveyourlove #romance #neverlethergo