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Challenge
Write a letter.
It can be to yourself or others. Include anything you feel is appropriate, and don't hesitate to share something a little more personal. It can be raw emotion, or just a lighthearted piece. I'll be providing a letter that I wrote based off my experiences as well, so again, if you feel comfortable, please don't hesitate to share something more personal. Any style of writing is welcome!

Another Apology

No, this time, I’m not drunk or high. I’m not fighting to get you off my mind. I’ve chosen to accept myself before writing to you, because I know I needed this time and space to bury our memories in the garden and see what grows.

Like little ships signaling at sea, we’d wave flags to show warnings. You told me you cared too much about getting people to like you, but I wasn’t lying when I said I tried my best to hate you. I had seen this before, and I asked myself why everyone bathes love at first sight in an illustrius light when there are so many mental speed-bumps, fences, and abrupt brick walls. At least, for me. Of course I had to observe you from a distance -- this was a dangerous pursuit after all. My daddy raised me to believe love and pain were two sides of the same coin. Maybe he lifted me by my neck when I had trouble counting these coins to keep me from questioning it. He didn’t know that the pain of not understanding was more intense. My thoughts grew legs and started feasting on my incapacity to cross the boundaries of strangeness. I lacked the courage to be seen and heard. If the people who claimed to love me could nearly kill me, what would someone irreverent do?

So, no, I didn’t want to be right about my own feelings, or to change my mind about wanting to stay your friend. You know yourself that you appeased me more often than you should, and if you knew me at all you’d understand I would have fought my feelings until the end... if I didn’t see you falter. Mostly, this is an apology for invading your privacy and for volenteering my vurnerability. I didn’t realize my psychoanalyses were indications of a psycho at work, and that every time I mirrored your ability to share yourself with the world, I exposed only the parts of myself I was ashamed of. I wish I could have been better to you, firmly as a friend or as a partner, and was there for you to lean on when everything was falling apart. Even though I won’t ever see you, I'll carry you in my pocket. Right next to my spare change.

-Your best friend.

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