The Never Ending Ride

Depression is a loaded word. Like a thief in the night it slips in, often undetected by an outside eye but felt deeply by those affected. It can be described by a myriad of emotions which all come to play in turn. It’s not set in stone, nor can it truly be labeled as a one single feeling or symptom.

Sitting just below the surface of the water, watching the sun glance off the rippling waves yet unable to breach the surface. No breathing in, no breathing out, just floating.Unable to move up or down.

Smiling so bright your cheeks feel frozen in place. Your mouth dry and your lips chapped. Fulfilling your duty to those around you, making everyone feel comfortable with an appropriate expression upon your face despite the turmoil inside.

Desperate to complete the mundane tasks of day to day life, yet unable to find even the smallest bit of motivation.Struggling to wash the dishes, get the mail, and make a meal.

Sleepless nights staring at the darkness surrounding you as the feelings of despair suffocate you. Unable to call out for help.

Looking for an ending to all that plagues you. Not strong enough to face another day like today, yet not ready to say goodbye.

Wishing for just one person to break into your nightmare and wake you up from this continuous ride on which you never asked to get on.

Finding that someone who won’t give up on you, pulling you out of your darkness time and time again. Pushing you to see the little things worth living for each and every day.

The sun is shining, My socks are matching, that person smiled at me, I had a good meal. Whatever little thing you can find in your day that makes you say, that was a good thing. There are positive moments worth exploring.

Re-learning to live for the little things in life that make it feel worth fighting for. Choosing to love yourself enough to fight for you and the life you deserve to live.

Becoming strong enough to help another soul stuck in the same darkness that you once, and still sometimes find yourself in. Sharing with another the secrets worth discovering in this crazy thing we call life.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes flashing, sometimes dim, sometimes the tunnel is filled with molten hot lava that never stops flowing, but that light is there. IT IS THERE.

Take a breath, look around, and pick one thing. ONE THING that is good. Keep looking, it’s there, just one thing. Once you find it, never let go. Hold on for dear life until you find a second thing that is good. Never stop looking, never stop holding on.