music

forget about all the words i'm about to write, just get the state of mind, little there is of it:

i go crazy over music.

it rips me apart,

today it was the prelude to ‘tristan and isolde’ , that i could not stop hearing ringing in my feeble and cracked head.

it gets worse, I geek out,

i’ve got my hands on recordings of lectures about music by leonard bernstein, titled ‘the unansweted question’ (i am fairly certain you can find them), and while much of it was not news to me, the way he ties things and explained passionately was just outstanding. his dissection of music through a linguistic prism was very interesting indeed. just a shame i had to constantly stop and start again, between my own lessons.

music that i listen, music that i don't even need to hear..

yesterday it was debussey, before that, beethoven, mozart.

oh god! i am going crazy again.

the humidity up, the exams i am doing with the kids, the taxi drivers that mysteriously find the worst rout to take.

it all pales.

it falls.

i cant wait to come home and hum the daily insanity to my baby, hoping, deseperately that she will find interest in the music.

it scares me. she was a fussy eater, what if she is a disibterested listener...

perhaps like Debussy’s faun, i fail to convey what is going through , how could I NOT Fail?

she prefers simpler fare,

no complexity,

no ambiguity,

no dissonance,

but she dances.

i didn’t even start in this post on Jazz, god help me.

maybe it’s the spring...

if i don’t drive her crazy about music, will she be driven crazy about music by herself?

how could she live a good life without this joyous madness?

anxious..

one-shot deal..