scars of sin
today came a trigger of toxic
my hands to the metal to sing,
play my skin as a violin…
it’s worth it,
all the pain able to
bend.
i quake underneath
stern stares.
you have an issue with
over explaining
everything,
but
this.
you are awkward silence,
don’t even blink
or tear up
at the thought of losing everything
you once had so adorned.
i cradle rock my own
deep grave.
can’t look at you
without seeing her face.
without seeing how your face
just has zero concern,
zero feeling,
zero anything.
there is no care in being caught.
just a shoulder shrug,
hmmm
i am not sure it happened on that date.
that’s it!
i want to scream!
shake the shit out of you,
slap your face,
that’s really fucking it-
after all the time of trying to find a way in,
for me to let you love me the way you dreamed,
for me to love you as envisioned,
that’s it
for the very thing that was to be
holy and sacred?
not a tear,
not an explanation.
you just sit cold
and vacant
while i carve scars of your sins
into my skin.