Well I've decided I'll try read many genres focusing on different topics before college. So I got to the school library.

Philosophy

History

Horror

Science fiction

And so much more.

And I'm excited. I never had a school library before. I never had a familiar librarian, or a certain table I'm allowed play chess on, or just the huge variety of books in general. So it makes me really angry when people go in there and play on their phones, or sneak in food.

Just enjoy the school library. It's selfish- but can't they just not ruin it for me? Sigh...

I am not, for the record a Persian carpet. Just clarifying. I'm a human (probably).

I also do not want to be a Persian carpet. But I will be for this demonstration. Most everybody wants to be something they are not at some time anyway. The point though is that I am now old and frayed, stepped on until I'm thin and more a piece of cloth than a luxury carpet at all. My colours have left me. But to be honest, as far as Persian carpets go, I wasn't a very expensive one anyway. for some reason, I was set at the threshold of a fancy house, with fancy people living inside. Not many paid mind because of my quality. But there were some that raised their eyebrows, complimented the homeowners, and stepped on me more gingerly. Everyone else that came in those big houses though... they paid no mind. The ones that had money practically falling out of their pockets. The ones who were my owners. The ones I was supposed to impress but could never seem to do so correctly... they all walked upon me. But again... I was never the best carpet, as far as Persian rugs go that is.

Time will pass. I hope to marry, though of course I would never tell. And more time will pass. And I hope to get through college. Years will go by. I hope I will quit my job, and die happy. I hope people will forget about me.

But all of that is unrealistic.

I may marry, but it may end. I'm not the most likeable person. And college life may not treat me well. I may not even get in. And I will be poor, a slave until death. I will not die happy, I bring too many misfortunes upon myself. I make too many mistakes.

But people will forget.

Let's take a walk... through an ocean town

Where the sky is blue and the sea is bluer.

Where the gulls laugh

And so do the passing children.

It may take a while to get there.

The walk may be long

But the walk in the ocean town

Will be so much longer.

It will be a place where the sun never sets.

Daytime forever, where you smile the whole time

As you look to the ocean.

Our final destination.

I...

Am a sliver of existence.

I am a user of moments

And have lived through not quite so many.

Nay- I don't use them well as others.

I may use them better than some.

Who knows?

I spend most of my moments watching

Or so I like to think.

It's not as if I count- though I count sometimes.

I count the stars, I count my wishes.

I count the dollars and the people and the mistakes I make.

I've been called a perfectionist.

I've been called obsessive.

But since I have no plan due to all the uncertainties...

My life won't be perfect.

I'm really just going through it all

Trying to do as the others do, and keep my head down.

I may not win

But I won't come in last.

There is a fishtank in the English class.

This fishtank holds an orange fish.

A fish who I greet every morning.

His name is Gerard.

Until a week ago, that is.

A week ago, Gerard died.

He was replaced with another fish.

And I didn't notice until 2 days ago.

So for the past week,

I've been talking to a fish

Who was not, in fact, Gerard.

I want my own piece of time.

Desire it really;

But not for leisure.

No morals

No consequences

Just a game.

Playing a god.

Critical expectations of the holy.

Reduce the people to shadows.

No mercy for the cruel.

No mercy for the meek.

Game pieces fall from the board.

Each move calculated but casual.

Heavenly beings diminished

To ghosts.

I win.