I would relive everything we shared,

Over and over again,

I would hit the rewind and repeat buttons,

At the same time,

Until my fingers ached,

And my I yearned to live in the now.

I would replay all the firsts,

Until their novelty wore off,

But with you,

They never will.

I would search my memories,

For everything we shared,

I would relive

You.

I want you,

But without the parts of you that hurt to love.

I want your hands,

When they aren't clenched in fists,

But nestled in mine.

I want your love,

Until it turns to anger.

I want your heart,

But only the part that loves me.

I want your eyes,

Until the tears form in the corners.

I want you,

But not your whole.

Sometimes I think I haven’t lived long enough.

I haven’t felt the grass on my bare feet.

Think sunshine, warmth, peace, comfort.

I’ve never watched the sun rise and set in the same day,

Lived like there was no tomorrow,

Too carefree to worry.

Long enough still isn’t long enough.