nothing
you close your eyes and see nothing. in theory yes but in all reality you see blackness, blackness morphs into colorful shapes and swirls and universes. imagination kicks in and soon there are pictures and memories and dreams. inspirations and goals and regrets flit passed your fluttering eyelids all encased in a pretty little package, just like Pandora's box but even more deadly. but for just a moment when you first shut your eyes you truly see nothing, which is astonishing since your brain cannot handle you not looking or seeing something so it tries to throw you off track to protect you from the vastness of your eyes. but for just one nano-second you can see what truly created the universe and dinosaurs and pipe bombs and civilizations. nothing at all except for the absence of something.
he loves me,
he loves me not,
i love him?
i love him not?
i sit confused and angry and frustrated.
i try and figure out my feelings without ever being taught how to.
i'm enraptured one second,
and indifferent the next.
STOP STOP STOP
my thoughts are screaming at me.
he loves me?
he loves me not?
And me? we don't know.