alone in the night she cried out,

“you’re better off without me”

as she pushed the world away.

the sky rolled over, the moon stopped shining, and her lungs became still. she was only focused on five lonely words.

“i’ll never be good enough”

as she took her final breath the stars fell back into place. she couldn’t help but have the thought of the words they’ve left behind.

“nobody will ever love you”

and so, her heart became laced with

“goodbye”

because she was too emotionless to not let go.

out of the womb,

i always imagined my first steps were toward a noose, looking for an escape from this endless pain.

three psychiatrist a week just to tell me something’s wrong with me, soon my therapists will become depressed because that is the word we use to define understanding of the innate nature of the universe isn’t it.

i’ve shed light on the topic of this word depression and many people now agree that there’s no point to live, because they see the truth hidden beneath the lies we are fed as just infants. has God cursed me or blessed me is to still be determined i see things more clearly than anyone will ever. i was given an example imagine you are wearing sunglasses and think the world is dark but when you choose to take them off you can see the light all around you , i of course responded imagine these glasses are prescription helping you see things more clear why would you take them off and be as blind as everyone else. my psychiatrist didn’t know what to say so just joked about me being intellectual. i found this annoying. there’s something different about me that not a lot of people see but those who do are either amazed or terrified so why take the chance i’ll continue to wear contact lens so no one can see me glasses.

dear mdd,

i find this letter truly hard to write considering we’ve been friends longer than i can remember,

i hate this, i truly do people always ask me what’s up with my mood my dear old friend you’ve made it hard to answer these complex question which lead to disaster because i’ve been taught to lie by the voices inside of my head, i’ve been taught that people will treat me differently if they know the struggle i have to stay alive. i guess this is partially true but now that more people than just me know, i feel like we’ve grown distant. i guess that’s good though isn’t it you never were really a good friend to me.

sincerely

i’m sick and tired of living this predetermined destiny i want to stray from the path of how things are supposed to be, i want to make choices that others look down on me for saying i’m ruining my life but there just ruining there’s by waking up every morning to work from 9 to 5 in order to be given paper that has been given value by a simpleton. nothing matters that we think matters the only thing that will ever truly matter is love and now where has that gotten me i swear there’s a black hole inside my head slowly destroying me taking all my thoughts captive and destroying what i’m supposed to be but i thank that destructive monstrosity for making life a little more interesting because how can someone be happy working for everyday or there life when in the end of there life they never lived at all, my biggest regret will be ever listening and living by the confines of society because nothing else matters, because i’m not going to become who i’m destined to be i’m hell bent on becoming a storm of chaos changing peoples ways of thinking and changing there moral philosophies because what is life if you spend it the whole thing asleep so wake up because it’s time we finally face reality.

only than would he be at peace, when the rope drew taught, cutting off his oxygen and all of his thoughts.

his mind draws blank as his consciousness awakes, stuck in this self perpetuating violence where nothing’s at stake.

people call him selfish for taking the easy way out, but he’s been fighting for his life since he was a young boy now.

the voices in his head coaxed him down this dark path, everyone told him wait longer this will all work out.

but he made up his mind he’s done fighting for his life, he’s lost in his darkness but can finally see the light.

he steps off the bridge and the rope goes right, the voices go quiet and only ones left now.

i love you and i made you, and i had a plan, you would’ve changed so many lives if you’d only been a man.

well well well

she said her thoughts of darkness still lurked in her head.

thoughts that would make satan shiver if ever voiced out loud only than would things be better.

But she couldn’t speak the words she wished to speak because her mind was held captive by the demons she seeks.

Only in her dreams is she finally free but even than she’s stuck in the confines of her own reality.