When she undresses herself for you, for the first time, you beg your eyes not to stare at her shoulder blades which stick out like cut off wings. Because you’ve been taught that loving a woman relates to brutality in the bedroom and you don’t want to love her the way that men have loved you because you will not let this love become something that greedily takes and leaves no after thought.

So you’d go eons without pressing your body against hers and a lifetime without grazing her bare skin with the tips of your fingers because loving someone doesn’t justify killing them and then easing your innocence by carving a headstone that reads here lies a predator, who made light of all the blood that comes from making a sport of trying love a woman like a man.

And your hands won’t stop shaking hands when she undress herself so you turn away but she grabs your hand and proclaims “No you won’t hurt me.” You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding in because she means it and you crawl under the covers. Her lips pressed against mine and hips to hips as her fingers trace my collarbone, and down admist seas.

Sometime later in the night while you sleep, she lies awake stroking your honey colored hair wishing that someone had taught you that sex and love can coexist without mortality. You dream, she has wings again.

I had a dream that I was

Trapped in a cave,

Scraping and screaming

At its damp walls.

Heart racing,

Sweat tracing

The edges of my eyes that

Were teased by the trickling

Of light beaming from the

Roof of my cage...

And I thought of you.

I smelt the fear,

Tasted the hate,

Felt the shake

Coursing through the veins

Of the body you claimed.

I extended my arm,

Fingers spazzing,

Blindly grasping,

Until I felt him.

Warm. Steady. Safe.

I pulled myself into him,

Tucking my head

Into the nook of his neck,

Matching my breath to the

Slow rise and fall of his chest.

I knew he was waking

By the fluttering

Of his eyes.

He kissed my nose,

My mouth,

My neck.

“You’re beautiful,”

He whispered.

And I believed him.

_____________________________________________________________________

This is my first entry. Thanks so much for reading!

Warning* sexual content

i want your hands

all over my body

slowly caressing the cravesses

and valleys of my quaking skin

dip your hand in my milky universe

and lick the mountains that form on my chest.

I want you to hold those stars

that flicker in my misty vision

let the air trickle down

our spines

and our moans fill the night.

hold me

tight

let our bodies

ride to infinite heights

yell my name

and whisper with wet lips

to my ear

how much pleasure I make you feel.

grip me

choke me

I am all yours

kiss me

love me

make me feel more

trace your lips

along my neck

and push against

my thick throbbing thighs

ill take you in

this pulsing pleasure

as I drown in the waves

of ecstasy.

Please just

make love to me, baby

(ill go on all fours)

becuase, luv,

I am all yours.

She sat caressing the fruit in the curves of her hand; luscious and naked, the mango sat tantalizingly. She could feel the golden–orange flesh seeping through the windows of her fingers. There was no distance between what she was going to taste and her. She sunk her teeth and then her lips into the sun-kissed sweetness.

It was counter-intuitive to experience divinity through the senses, but that moment couldn’t lie to her. The juices of the mango pulp ran down her fingers in sticky streams, and she licked them off in childlike pleasure. Her eyes were in love with the mango. She ate around the seed. Demolished the peels and sat in awe of how she felt. Satiated.

She looked up to the skies and wanted the rain to release the stains glued to her cheeks and lips. She hadn’t ever eaten so boldly and without inhibition. The rain did as it was told that day. It landed on her pleasure-warmed cheeks and washed the remnants of her sins away. She knew at that moment that she had the immeasurable pleasure of living fully. Head stoked to the sky, she laughed, a deep-rooted smile radiating from her insides.

Even for just that moment, she had lived.

I was a child when I entered a new country.

All through my life I have been a child at heart,

And that has saved me.

I have thawed winters,

And revived the dying.

My reign was golden.

I was nearly a lioness.

I sailed to the edge of the world,

And I have spoken with stars.

No one has felt a parting as painful as mine,

But no longing hope burned as brightly,

For the day when I would see You again.

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” (Voltaire)

Gratitude erases all negative feeligs like jealosy, anger, and hate. When you appreciate the little things in your life, even the wins of others, you are able to foster positivity and welcome in even more happiness.

True joy and fulfillment comes only when you let love fill your life. We often fight so hard against these feelings, thinking we don't deserve them or that they aren't true. However, once you are brave and vulnerable enough to welcome gratitude in your daily life, you will become free.