I found your life tucked away

inside this small dusty box. ...

all alone I began sifting through

as it spoke so softly, I realized ....

you didn't learn to speak,

until after, breath escaped your lungs.

so now I listen to your ghost whisper

to me as I scan still memories,

left to throw away all the mundane. ...

don't worry dad,

I'm not afraid and I no longer cry tears,

that flow without permission ...

instead I hold on to reality that

I never knew, and hardly ever will ...

yet, life goes on

outside of your small dusty box,

where I continue scanning lost times.

so for now,

I put on a smile

and tell my little boy,

all your things left behind,

were all left

for him ... ....

Tomorrow I will see what happened next year.

My mind has a way of twisting the very fabric of time.

Living to please the fears of tomorrow, I am tossed.

Tossed here and there without a cause, I am torn.

My mind relentlessly tears at my very soul, hurling me

into a new dimension of the unknown..... yet another future.

What will be next is what comes to mind....... yet it is oblivion.

whip whizzing through the folds of my unrelenting view of time.

I am lost at times, stuck in times yet come, the what if's.

Still trapped in the fears of the failures of times long gone.

My trap is set, yet is still to come. The future, the past, all a blur.

Today I will choose to live in the present, right here and now.