fighting for forgiveness

sinners seek shelter

some suffer

some survive

seemingly shameless

seldom showing sympathy

they try to transform

converting corruption

worthless work

for forgiveness

is

forever forgotten

And. What a simple, common word. A word no one stops to think about. A word thrown around without thought about it being necessary or not. A never lonely word. Forever surrounded by run-ons and overcrowded sentences. A nervous speaking twitch for some. A word we use to connect, unite, put loneliness behind us. To add accessories that we’ll never need. To form a list of people we love. Or people we hate. Or fruits we need to buy at the supermarket. A word that avoids dead ends and spawns new thoughts. A word that lets us continue, progress, build. Change. So why do we under-appreciate the and. Such a powerful word. Not only a conjunction of grammar, but a conjunction of thoughts, people, things, places, lives. A word we seem not to be able to live without for the simple need for having more than one of anything. A word we should stop to think about for once. Because no one does it but everyone says it. Because it means more than just one more thing to add in life. Because it means we are not alone, and we must stand together. So give “and” a bit of love. Because without the “and”, there would be no such thing as “us”. 

Why did you love hurting me...

I'm the queen...

Of all broken hearts...

I'm the one who is depressed of them all...

When I close my eyes and sleep...

All the things I dream...

Likes to bully me...

Nightmares it seems...

You are suppose to be my lover...

But all you do is leave me...

If I am in trouble...

You seem so satisfied ...

If I cry....

All day and night...

Right when you leave me...

I start to bleed...

Now I'm keen...

To find someone else...

If I gotten plastic surgery...

And I came out pretty...

Will you start to notice me....

My dream...

Of you and me..

Is now gone...

Shatter into pieces ...

The hypnotized...

Eyes ...

I had for you is gone...

You can't have my cake anymore...

My heart is feeling like it'll be forever sore...

Let's start to move on...

Is this wrong...

This is the feeling I always felt...

Depressed...

What a mess...

When we were together...

Now I know we weren't meant to last forever ..

You abuser...

You womanizer..

I think I'm fine...

I'm happy now that we are not together...

My perfect lover is gone...

And I am singing this depressing song...

And I just have to try to hold on...

Even though I feel like giving up...

Cleanup...

All the wrong things that are in my heart...

If I wanna mess up...

The deadly pills are in that cup...

To end it all...

Shut up...

You don't mind her...

She is just doing her job...

Killing herself...

Killing herself...

Her life needs help...

Her life is just not well...

Without her love one...

She's killing herself....

All the things she has dealt...

With..

Mama she's gone...

Mama she's gone...

To run off to paradise...

With her love one...

With her love one...

Say your goodbyes because them lovers are both gone...

What we hear are lies

And what we say is but for the enjoyment of others

Everything we write we seek approval for

Because we need attention and proof

That we aren't just tiny insignificant people

That exist in a world too big to be remembered in

Because we think that if enough people bookmark or reprose or any shit like that

Maybe we aren't alone in our thoughts

But seriously are we going to fall for some bullshit like that

The only way that we can continue to be happy is if we stop caring

Once we learn that even if everyone hates us we'll still be just fine

Then we'll actually be fine

Or we might become insane because humans seem to not be able to live without attention

We are monsters that only say what others think

Instead of thinking on our own

We have lost the ability to form opinions without bias from the outside world

And it affects everyone though most people refuse to admit it

Calling themselves rebels when they're just joining other rebels

Because the new movement will now replace the old one

And the new movement will still forget individual thought and be led by some brainwashers

Who call themselves different even though they're all the same

Even us, the prosers who call ourselves the creative, expressive minds of the Internet

How much of the things we write do we write because we know others will agree

STOP SAYING WHAT PEOPLE WANT YOU TO

I mean seriously, what is the world turning into

If we just regurgitate what others believe how does that progress our world

If we believe in a purpose do we actually believe or are we just saying we do because everyone else does

So fuck the world

Fuck what the media or the Internet wants to call right

Because the only thing we should think

Is what's inside our own heads.

Can somebody call for help...

Get me out of this cell...

I don't belong here...in this insane asylum...

It just amazes me...

That nobody cares..

That I am stuck...in this insane asylum...

Do you think I'm crazy...

Do you think I'm out of my mind...

Please take me out...

I'm hearing other inmates freaking out...

I am always hearing shouts...

I'm tired...

I think I am hallucinating...

When I'm hopefully out I'll be celebrating...

Tell them I'm normal...

I guess I have to show them...

That I'm not like the others...

Who is full of troubles...

I know how to count to one hundred...

Oh how I wonder...

If there is a cure..

Or it's an everlasting curse...

I can't be stuck in here...

Gasping for air...

Get me out of here...

I'm always in tears...

I wish I had some pills...

I'm not mentally ill...

But I'm stuck in an insane asylum...

S-Stuck in an asylum...

I'm not insane...

But they still took me away...

I-I'm not insane...

In the dark I stay today...

I'm not insane...

Tell them I'm perfectly tamed...

I'm so afraid...

In this insane asylum...

I believe...

That no one can see...

What I really mean...

That no one can understand my feelings...

I feel like dying...

I never ate the apple from the tree...

Why am I here...

Can you please wipe all my tears...

Thank you...

Mom and dad...

Eve and Adam..

Yes this might be sarcasm...

I love my life...

No..I'm not terrified...

Thank you for eating the apple..

Why would you talk to a snake..

Yes I am questioning it...

When someone says you must have faith...

Today in this world if you say that you'll get shot dead...

Welcome to America...

No no..welcome to this corrupt world..

Mom and Dad you made it an disaster.

So I must say to this boy and girl..

Welcome to America...

Welcome to America...

Here we always get shot..

Welcome to America...

Welcome to America..

Welcome to this corrupt world...

Enjoy it while it last little girl...

In Revelation it says it will get worse..

I don't sleep.

Instead I ponder.

Until my thoughts turn vicious.

Until they fill me with rage.

Until I need to write them down.

So here I am,

And here is my nightmare.