the words her eyes said
eyebags scooped up her tears like a bowl
filling to the brim before streaking down her face
jaw set tight, holding back what little she could
with each breath, something breaking
although her lips would tell lies
nothing but truth was revealed in her eyes
he would sigh
then leave without ever saying goodbye
sleeping with strangers
behind closed eyes
someone new awaits me
a face i forget when i arise
if i sleep now i may remember
that someone a mix of strangers I used to recall
their name, puts a memory in my mind
their eyes, my heart's downfall
I know our time is nearly up
I'll awake alone in bed
but just a few minutes more
as we lay together newlyweds
phone call from a mother-in-law
"John?" its her mother goddamn it.
"Hi Mrs. Whitling."
"Has Stephanie contacted you at all?" I wished she'd shut up. "I called her twice and she hasn't answered a single call or text in hours."
"No she hasn't, I was actually about to call you about the same thing." I rested my back against the basement wall. My hair dark from the rain. "It's getting dark out and I'm a bit worried."
"Do you think we should call the police? I'm not overthinking things?" I knew that was the first thing her small brain would suggest.
"Her phone probably died and she got caught in the rain,"
She sighed. "You're probably right."
"Let's wait for the rain to stop and then if she's not back, we'll call."
"Alright." She paused probably fretting her wrinkled fingers off the bone. "But call me right away if she contacts you."
"Yes mam."
"Thank you John."
When I Was Your Man by Bruno Mars
Freshly broken people,
standing one whole person apart
seeing each other out of peripheral
someone on stage sings
hearts iron-guarded
minds left to wander
freshly broken people,
they can only think of each other
what could have been
what can never be
freshly broken people,
a song stirring their souls
a line drawing between them
the lyrics poking old wounds
freshly broken people,
hated how fate could be so cruel
after party
I sucked at bowling. I didn't care. I liked the way you smiled when my ball went straight in the gutter. The way you gave me a high five anyways.
By the time we finished our two games, the sky was dark and rain flooded the lot. We ran back to the car, our shirts soaked. We laughed ugly in the front seats watching the last episode of Stranger Things. I leaned over the center console to rest on your shoulder, when you suggested moving to the back.
The phone rested against one of the plushies you stole from a claw machine. I laid sideways while you sat upright with my head on your chest. Your arms were warm. We talked throughout most of it and when it finished we watched Kenobi but if I was being honest, I have no memory of that episode.
You tickled my face with pecks until I turned and pecked you on the lips right back. We had kissed maybe twice before but not like this. Not this many. Not this slow. Our nervous hands remained at each other's necks. Smiles in between hot breaths. You were gentle. Like I might break if you kissed me too hard.
Dating
Dating,
I think I'm scarred for the most part
Even if you hate them
you still think it's your fault
although you tell yourself
you needed that "life lesson"
you somehow wish you
could protect yourself from the past
Dating,
you quickly realize happily-ever-after
doesn't come often
and fate seems to hide in the shadows
Dating,
how i want to go back to those days
that i thought everything would work out
where i wanted to scream from the rooftops my love
but no
you question whether love exists
or if what you see online and in books
is all just fake
make-believe