Shame, pain, endless games,

When shall this torment end?

I want to die-- be renewed again

God forgive me--

I can't go on like this

God I hate this,

No. No. Wait.

Please...

It's just no use!

No fucking use.

I'm in delirium--

Deranged, strange, no soft medium can save me from this wretched state...

I'm all that is left-- what must I do now?

Oh... forgive me please

I know that some of you may be offended

Forgive me...

I'm veering out of control,

Steering out of control

Lost in all directions

Can't keep focus--

Someone shoot me

Stop,

No

Don't--

I don't know what I want

-- help me

I might break down

The light at the end of the tunnel

Ain't gonna help me now

Relax, relax,

It's ok

You're safe here...

But I can't,

I don't know why,

Mind is on edge,

I'm at my wit's end

Forgive me, forgive me

Fuck everyone,

Fuck this

I don't know why

...

I think I'm about to snap

I think I know why now

The silence is too much to bear,

It's far too cold and desolate...

I yearn for warmth and peace,

For mercy, and for release...

I don't know where this was supposed to lead--

For destruction, or for healing--

But this I know now:

He is gone, he is gone,

Gone to Mary Jane's home,

Smokin' his joint to heavenly abode--

God have mercy on his soul...

& God have mercy on me--

I will forgive and let live...

What if I was pretty?

Had long lashes and titties?

What if I smoked a joint?

Got high and lost the point?

What if I don't care?

What if I die now?

Would it matter to you anyway?

Probably not.

Pain, terror, agony,

All is lost without hope.

Tears, screams, silence,

Nothing is without consequence.

Fear not,

For hope comes from within.

It is born like the phoenix,

Rising evermore in bright fire...

Becoming new and bold,

And ready to fly again.

Frightened, wearied,

Lost and long gone,

The days of old we no longer hold...

Fight it! I say,

It is no reason to waste one's youth or time,

For such melancholic, pessimistic thoughts.

We can build a better world,

Even if only one by one...

Silence!

The angel falls upon us once again,

Her wings of gold splendor shining behind her.

She gazes upon the ruined earth,

Its people punished in hellfire...

"Who will be the one to save this world--

What good can come of this world?!"

Oh-ho, silly angel.

What indeed can come of this wretched world?

It's rotten to the core-- but alas!

Never lost in hope.

For the will of its people have always had hope...

//

References: (Nikolai & Nike: People's Victory... and the Winged Angel/Goddess of Victory)

(August 20th, 2016, 11:42 pm, CDT)

Elysium Haven | P.Y.C. Rights Reserved ©

Nerves edging,

Fingers crawling,

Butterflies flying,

Sweat falling,

Name your reason.

Is it love?

Is it fear?

Whatever your reason is,

It just adds to my frustration.

Nervous, afraid...

Why?

Why?

He asked you to smoke a joint,

Why did you refuse?

...

Is that why?

You're just a pathetic, silly, immature child...

...

He asked you to feel him up,

Why did you hesitate?

...

Again, you're just a child in his eyes...

Whom shall I choose?

The devil, where sensual pleasures are promised--

Or the angel, where divine love and comfort is given...

But alas, the devil has me in his grasp

Holding me allured, chained to his promise

But my heart yearns for this angel...

Lord, have mercy on me for what I am about to do...

My body sacrificed to the one that I do not love.

My heart and soul yearning for you my Lord and my angel...

Another scar added to my soul,

The devil has won over this tormented soul!

My angel and my Lord-- I desperately love,

But the devil has me in his Faustian trap,

For ever I am to do his bidding...

Seduced by a demon,

Loved by an angel...