From Afar
I watched you suffer
Always smiling, even when
She went behind your back
Then tried to get you back
I didn't know your name, and yet,
Your eyes spoke of your soul
I wondered who you were
I wandered where you were
I met you in the room of red
The color of my face and yours;
I stumbled through my words
You smiled in your words
You ended things with her
And seemed resolved, but finally free
Your eyes, they shone with hope
And I suppressed my hope
One day, you found a different heart
To give new life to you
I smiled through my pain
You seemed so free of pain
But all too soon, it came to pass
That you needed some space
She left her spot beside you
I saw the hole inside you
You've caught the eye of many girls,
And you don't realize why
You're wonderful inside and out
I wish my feelings could come out
I just don't stand a chance with you,
And I'm too scared to try
I hope I'll be the friend you need
I'll help you find the heart you need
Even if you never see
The love I feel for you,
I want you to be happy
That would make me so damn happy
Even though my heart is torn
In loving you so much,
I know someday you'll smile.
Wish that I could be the reason
For your smile.
Farting in the shower.
This morning
while I was washing my ass hole
in the shower
I realized I had to fart.
I turned my head around
hoping to create bubbles out of my ass.
Once I let it out
to my surprise
no bubbles were made.
I was somewhat dissapointed
but I still giggled at the thought of me
hoping to see bubbles
coming out of my ass hole
in the shower.
Finding Peace in Perspective
Dear Mama,
I am sorry for everything. We never really grew close, and part of that is my fault. The unforgiving, pained part of me, hated the idea of getting past everything. As I look back on my childhood years, and my personality; I was quiet, but I was no saint. With a smart mouth, and a strong mind, I was going to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. I know that was probably the most challenging part of raising me. I couldn’t seem to control that spirit in me though. In a lot of ways, those things were my reactions to the actions against me- my way to cope with uncontrollable circumstances.
I wish that I was able to confide in you comfortably about, anything. You taught me that I couldn’t do that. By the way you handled things that I did tell you in confidence. I don’t think that you understand the pain that your actions against me, caused me. I just really don’t think you understand.
I felt alone in that house. Nobody could relate to me or my passion for reading and writing, so my siblings teased me for it. You didn’t do anything to defend me, support me, or help me. It wasn’t easy being the darkest kid in the house. It wasn’t easy being a nerd. It wasn’t easy being me, around y’all. So, I withdrew from y’all. Slowly but surely, I built a protective mental and emotional wall around my heart and psyche; my true self. That’s the real reason I was always so quiet.
When I made the permanent move to emancipate myself from the family, it was hard at first. The initial two years were the hardest. I went from being at all the family functions and holiday celebrations, to spending my days and holidays alone or with friends. Eventually though, I found myself. I found my voice in my outgoing, goofy sense of humor. Embracing the nerd in me, I read and research any and all topics that pique my interest. I also found new hobbies to keep my mind moving forward, like donating clothes and food to the less fortunate, and poetry writing.
The best thing about the solitude is that I was able to reflect and appreciate the lessons you taught me. For instance, never allow a man to put his hands on me, understanding that if a man does, it’s time to leave. You taught me how to defend myself, from witnessing and living through your life experiences. I respect the strength of your womanhood, passed down to me, through you, from the strong roots of your mother- my grandmother. I admire you. For that, I will always be proud to be your child.
I forgive you for the things that I could not understand. I hope that you can forgive me for the same. You taught me to acknowledge my pain, but never stay down too long. That lesson has been invaluable to my healing and my progression in life. Should life see fit to reunite us again in this lifetime, I am open to it. Thank you for the experience.
I love you.
Signed,
Your Nerd Child
J.T © 2016
Attached picture is from google.com
Realizations
Whenever I give advice
I need to hear it myself
I never see how lost I am
'til I try to direct someone else.
How do I end up so off course when I always know the right way?
I don't listen
I don't look
I don't notice I'm spinning until my eyes catch something still.
I don't notice I'm losing ground until my feet have nothing left to hold.
I pray one day I'll learn to save myself before the fall...
Little Blue Whispers
Eyes of blue filled with lust
Sparkling with fairy dust
Captivated on your stare
Time stands still and in stasis we dare
As I step into you
Hands skimming hands searching for the truth
and I find it
In your heated breath on my neck
The trembling of our hearts on this empty deck
Where lips align in dangerous proximity
The anticipation of our darkened affinity
Softly colliding with automatic grace
And tongues entwine in a serpents embrace
And then I slow you...
Still pleasing
Slightly deceiving
and then stop.
Just to watch you pout
Angered lips that want to shout
Red as poppies they shimmer and shine
Longing to be mine
Your eyes pierce me with electrical unease
But I aim to please
Fingers softly trail your face
As I urge you for embrace
I want to share the whispers on your breath
To hear the butterflies around your neck
As they struggle for release
and receive their wish when our lips again meet
delicately touching
On a prelude of wanton bliss
Where compulsion now twists
into little blue whispers
The comfort of belonging
and the wildness of abandon
Amber harbour lights implore your skin
Dispelling shadows on a figure of sin
As your stare intensifies
Discarded clothing by our side
Skin to silk and then skin once more
As passion oozes from every pore
Fingertips teasing the edges of lace
My hands at your waist
On silky thighs I wallow
and place silent kisses on your hips
Silk on my knuckles, you in my grip
As I find the button that puts stars in your eyes
Beseeching me to set you free
Stifled cries of ecstasy
Tell me that you have your wish...
© Richard Withey. All rights reserved.
A Man once asked..
Who am I
Lets be honest...I am whatever you have put together in your head...I am limited by your minds limitations. I am precisely who you perceive me to be.
If I were to describe everything about me- it is all through what you believe everything is, that I am telling you.
Instead, come feel the energy I bring, watch my mannerisms. Tell me what my eyes do when they look into yours. Tell me how you perceive me to taste. What does my touch do to your heart? Does it beat slower, and calmer? Or does it charge faster, so you feel it in the side of your neck? Does my lips coasting ever so gently over yours make our passing intakes of eachothers life force, cause an awakening? What makes a smile appear? What is it that causes an anger to stir in me?
Because thats what I am. I am a force, to you, or for you.... Or I am merely a woman with some words thrown together. Again, your perceptions are what will limit you, or set you free to the universe coursing around you. Open your eyes beautiful creature.
Thats who “I am”.
Silent Plea
My silent cry
And sorrow I hide
Confusion inside my head
Chaos within my heart
Listen carefully darling
Do you feel me?
My racing heartbeat
My agitation
Longing to be soothed
With your word of wisdom
I'm struggling to stay afloat
In this ocean of blood
Vulnerability has been exposed
By the rough tide
Will you just watch me drown?
Will you pull me to the shore?
Tell me something my dearest
For I can't read your silence
Despair is how I feel
Betrayed by kindness
Guilty for my stupidity
Come lover and whisper
That you will set me free
-Jessa