I don't know why I'm still living with you under my roof. Recently it feels as if this house belongs to you.

We fight every day. You always win.

You're here, and my breath catches in my throat.

Your hands clamp around my neck and tighten until I feel my cheeks flush hot with blood.

You shake me until every limb is quivering out of control.

You scream the exact words I'm trying to avoid thinking of, making my head swim and pound.

You plunge a hand into my chest and I feel my heart clenched in your fist. You pull and squeeze until I'm conviced that you're going to tear the organ from my chest.

I swear I feel my skin burning under your touch.

I don't know why you do this to me. Sometimes I haven't even done anything wrong. Somehow you convince me that I have.

I'd rather be homeless than live with Anxiety any longer.

My Penis is this size

I call Women bitches

I drive this many cars

I live in this size house

I smoke this much Dope

I probably do a lot of other drugs a lot

I cant sing

I act cool

I talk incoherently

I am this colour

I own this much gold

I make fake gang member signs

I am harder than any other man

I own guns

I have great taste

I am always on holiday

I ve been in jail

I am unquestionably hetrosexual

I do not like some races

I believe in God

I am original

I have murdered people

I have no respect for the law

I am a business man

I am sensitive

Maybe if I murdered your mother

And stitched a zipper into her spine

And stepped into her pale skin

Aged with an Appalachia fog

I could exist in your world --

And zipping myself into your life

Ruminating inside your existence

I would saturate your mouth with my saliva

Moistening your heat with --

The richness of ...

My blood is sticky

I am a tightrope strapped with confusion

And I miss you.

Your boy will sail away and

Your mother stays busy

I want to slither

Like a snake under

Your knitted afghan of

Prophetic words weaved

Deceiving me and --

Leading me into

A false love borne

From faithful obligation

You told me the pool was blue

And they named you their Savior

Your demons are perched on

Your back Weakened with obligation.

I drink until the words are blurry on the page

One long run-on sentence continuing into --

Oblivion waits

And my flesh is thin

Like paper doll arms

Thin and tearing

And disconnected from

Everyone else ...

I fucking miss you,

And I can't undo this.

Depression.

Is what I feel.

The sense of wanting, and every now and then, hate.

Watching them across the room and know that you will never get closer.

It hurts,

a never ending dull pain in your chest

all you have is the hope that someday, it will all end.

The stillness in the tree grew reverent as the leaves turned crisp with the empty limbs and cold bark.

The stems seemed so fragile, that a single cry could shake them loose, leaving them to spin and crush into the soil.

The laughter in the grass, the dirt streaked tears, hunting for butterflies, all of it now spinning, just as it seemed it would, as the sound escaped, crushing over his grave.

The tugging at

my heart,

Harder than before,

Like someone had

Punched,

Kicked,

Shot and

Stabbed it.

Seeing you with another,

Something that I can't stand

But I keep a smile on my face

Every time you hold her hand

Every time you tell her how beautiful she is.

No matter how strong the pain,

No matter how much I want to cry,

I will smile

I will stay by your side,

Like nothing is wrong.

The world will go on,

Oblivious to my heartbreak

I will watch you and her

You with her

Smiling,

Crying on the inside

Slowly falling apart

But still I will smile for you

You won't ever know

How I feel

I won't be able to take your rejection

You'll just give up on me anyways

I'm not like her

I'm not as pretty

I'm not as lovely

We would never have worked out

But I still cry at night

I still think of you

You and me,

You with me.

I'm losing my mind

I'm breaking

But you will never see it

I'll still wear that smile on my face.

I feel therefore

I am therefore

I think therefore

I am therefore

Im unsure I am

You are I am sure

So is life!

Let it go,

and move on.

Otherwise,

you'll get caught up

in an ever descending spiral of self-pity.