Oh so is she the kind you’d bring home to your family? Is it her smile or perfect curls? Maybe it’s her inward love for the world and her kind attitude. Oh so am I not good enough? Is my harsh humor and brash sense of eyes too aggressive to bring to your mother? Is my pocket full of rude wit just too much to handle? But you want to date this girl. You like her. But god damn it, why? I have everything more and yet I’m not good enough. Body, personality, intelligence, humor, connection, drive.... I could go on for ages. But yet you want her and you can’t even considering wanting me. Now that just doesn’t make sense. The only other thing you left me other than doubt is the fear that the next boy I’ll fall for will just end up looking at another inferior girl and I’ll be standing left like an idiot. Ah, but she’s the kind of girl you’d bring home to your family.

I have to admit, I am a daydreamer. I'm guilty as charged when it comes to building up the short stories of you in my head.

If I'm at Walmart I'll imagine us in years to come doing a typical weekend grocery shop together. If I'm driving I'll picture you in the vacant passenger seat, busting out terrible vocals along with me. If I'm listening to music I'll think about us dancing to it at our wedding day. If I'm watching a movie I'll replace the high paid actors with us because it just seems to fit more with you and I.

These mini stories build up over time as I rethink them over and over again, smiling at the possibilities. But, it's when you do things that I never thought of do I seem to blush the most.

It's when I'm sad and lonely and all I want is to finally confirm with you about this unacknowledged tension, but I'm aware that the inappropriate timing and the lack of clarity will not fulfill the satisfaction that I need. During my lowest thoughts I get a chance to communicate with you. Though the topic is of a professional matter and you're completely ignorant to my current status, it feels such as the angels above did their best to spread their own pixie dust. Almost as if the winds up in the nirvana were tired of seeing me unknowing to the possible mutuality of the affection and had to give me some kind playful hint.

It's when I impulsively go to you for consolation and you always pull through in your own way. We're both not emotional people and we both know how to convey our inner thoughts through unique word choices and actions. But most importantly, I feel we both realize we can read each other's inner turmoil for our lack of emotional integrity. You always seem to know just what to say to get through this thick self critical skull. Just as if we were bound to connect our own linguistics, and fate had fit us into this enigma of attraction. Because I know I don't want anyone else but you to try to talk me down of an emotionally compromising breakdown.

The things you do in reality break me free from the spiraling void of dreams I so desperately swivel down. The more I'm with you do I no longer feel the need to cling to the fictitious tales I play in my head to get through the absence of you. Because if I lacked your presence, I would tumble down the hole of self doubt as I've always battled between reality and my castle in the air.

Just as guilty as I am for dreaming, I'm guilty for loving you. And that made all the difference.

Home is everywhere.

Home is when you smell a scent on a random day and in come flushes of memories.

Home is when you see the light peaking through the window shades early in the morning.

Home is when the songs that play on the radio take you back like a time machine.

Home is the feeling you get in your stomach when you get nostalgic.

Home is a feeling.

Home is a place.

Home is your place.

Home is everything.

Home is that place you took for granted as a child.

Home is that center piece at your friends that reminds you of the one your mother got for Christmas that one year.

Home is full of emotions.

Home is the sad, the happy, the mad, the lonely, the crowded, the humiliated, the laughter thoughts.

Home is the warm flame that comes over you when you see a friend over elongated years.

Home is the boiling rage you receive when your lover cheats you.

Home is everyone.

Home is everywhere.

Home is everything.

Home is everyone.

Here I sit, smiling over some stupid dorky thing you did.

Here I stand, smiling over our harmonious humor.

Here I am, smiling over what you said to me.

Here I am, smiling.

Here I stay, smiling over someone's story about you.

Here I walk, smiling over how much you looked at me with those eyes. Those eyes are so powerful.

Here I am, smiling over how you make my knees numb.

Here I am, smiling endlessly.

You have this way about you.

You have this smile that shines so enormously in my eyes.

You have this dorky attitude that I can't help but giggle to.

You have these eyes that took me four years just to remember the color because I was so distracted at who was behind them.

You have this way you walk that it so unique to you.

You have this voice that makes me weak in the knees every time I hear it near to.

You have this humor that I thought I'd never find a match to.

You have this way you wrinkle your nose when you laugh that has me blushing.

You have this attitude that I've learned to read and can finally understand.

You have this type of language that sends meaning and purpose in ways I didn't know existed.

You have this way about you.

This way about you I don't think I'll ever stop loving.

This way that I'll never stop wanting to learn.

You have this way.