Blanketed in Chains
They crowd me with sweet smiles while their eyes scream, "Fix everything." I open my hands and shake my head showing I have no skills or tools to do as they ask. They keep staring.
The black of their pupil bleeds into the color and whites of their eyes creating a more focused gaze. It pierces my heart causing it to race. I can't close my eyes, look away, or even pretend to do what I think they're asking of me, though I try all three, because I know they found an opening into my heart. They know what I can and cannot do; their smiles grow.
They place a hand on my shoulder as a form of consolidation, yet their grinning mouth and forked tongue whisper, "You're indebted to me."
My open hands are now full of chains. I wrap them around me like blankets hoping this is the way I fix everything.
Self Poem
I am battery acid on wood
Striving to be as honest as
A lover should be to her partner,
Hence, should be.
In a matter of days,
I made four great errors.
(I learned and I was forgiven.)
I feel the need to hide reality
Because conformity
As vast as jupiter
yet not as vast as the universe
Takes up space around me.
The other planets- planets of love, determination, loyalty (to me and to others,)
Are my dream destinations.
To a social worker and a veteran I was born,
Siblings with a veteran.
While others fight or play ball with their brother,
Mine fought in Iraq and plays ball with his children.
Next door lives a friend who
listens to me, defends me, loves me.
We adventure, aspire, and admire
The stars in the sky and the stars in life. (We like to let them know we think they are stars.)
The moon knows loneliness.
It is the only thing to orbit the earth.
I am the only one to be me.
But,
I conquer potential senses of isolation with self love, socialization,
and support.
Pain settles in my chest and sucks enthusiasm out of me
like a vacuum filled with lamented love.
To dance, to inspire someone’s smile, aids my defeat of that obstacle.
I will be happy, I said.
I am happy.
