Jjautry
A 16-year-old student who writes during her free time.
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Written by Jjautry in portal Feedback

Feedback on Poem (please)!

I am taking a class and I have decided to make an art project centered around a poem, I would greatly appreciate some help!

Poem:

Apology after apology, I begin to make myself sick

I spend my days screaming in an empty room, hearing my agony echo back to me

Lost in the pain, I feel myself going under

I may not know how to swim, that doesn't mean my demons don't

But I’m fighting, I swear to you that I’m trying

You can only do so much when you’re at war with the one who calls herself your counterbalance

Wearing me out, dragging me down, I begin to grow tired

Tired of lying to everyone with a smile that says “I’m okay”

Tired of being so many people that I’m not

But I can’t be me

Because if anyone sees me, I won’t have the guts to look them in the eye

I don’t have the courage to be the person that I see hidden away in that mirror

So I watch myself fade away,

Pushing a mask on to suppress what’s left of me

What else is there to do,

But to hide behind something that I could never be?

1
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Juice
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Written by Jjautry in portal Feedback
Feedback on Poem (please)!
I am taking a class and I have decided to make an art project centered around a poem, I would greatly appreciate some help!

Poem:
Apology after apology, I begin to make myself sick
I spend my days screaming in an empty room, hearing my agony echo back to me
Lost in the pain, I feel myself going under
I may not know how to swim, that doesn't mean my demons don't
But I’m fighting, I swear to you that I’m trying
You can only do so much when you’re at war with the one who calls herself your counterbalance
Wearing me out, dragging me down, I begin to grow tired
Tired of lying to everyone with a smile that says “I’m okay”
Tired of being so many people that I’m not

But I can’t be me
Because if anyone sees me, I won’t have the guts to look them in the eye
I don’t have the courage to be the person that I see hidden away in that mirror

So I watch myself fade away,
Pushing a mask on to suppress what’s left of me

What else is there to do,
But to hide behind something that I could never be?

1
1
5
Juice
34 reads
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With a smile, I decided, I could laugh it all away.
Written by Jjautry

Another Smile, Another Scar

Brought me into this world,

looked me in the eye,

told me that you loved me.

I ate up your praise like a starved animal,

absorbed the bruises like a boxer,

becoming more like glass each time.

The day came when that glass me shattered,

splintering you skin, forever scarring my heart.

You chose him over me every time.

What was left for me in your heart?

A place in this house but not your head.

Forgotten, beaten, I am defeated.

But this can be forgiven,

the wrong that I've done to you.

All the storms from the past.

I can laugh it off.

Minimize what's killing me.

Mock what shadows my every thought.

I can go another day, 

laughing and smiling.

No one will notice.

1
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Juice
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With a smile, I decided, I could laugh it all away.
Written by Jjautry
Another Smile, Another Scar
Brought me into this world,
looked me in the eye,
told me that you loved me.
I ate up your praise like a starved animal,
absorbed the bruises like a boxer,
becoming more like glass each time.

The day came when that glass me shattered,
splintering you skin, forever scarring my heart.
You chose him over me every time.
What was left for me in your heart?
A place in this house but not your head.
Forgotten, beaten, I am defeated.

But this can be forgiven,
the wrong that I've done to you.
All the storms from the past.
I can laugh it off.
Minimize what's killing me.
Mock what shadows my every thought.

I can go another day, 
laughing and smiling.
No one will notice.
1
0
0
Juice
35 reads
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To celebrate the release of my new book, I am inviting you all to participate in a contest. The concept: Explore a person's struggle to come to terms with a strange, sinister, or surreal reality. This is a broad theme to encourage you to be as creative as you choose. Flash and full length stories welcome in horror, fantasy, surreal, or any hybrid genres. The only rule: Prose fiction only. Three winners will be chosen, who will receive 2000, 1000, or 500 coins + a signed copy of my collection.
Written by Jjautry in portal Fiction

More Than Two Broken Hearts

There was the flash of a child's smile. A single candle flickering madly atop a snow-white cake. A flurry of golden leaves sent flying into the air by small bare feet. The tiny fingers of an infant held gently in the palm of a woman. The woman looked up, her silver eyes full of warmth and love, meeting his gaze. A fragile smile crossed her lips. The sun danced with the blonde strands of her hair and autumn went on peacefully behind her. Then there was darkness, pitch-black.

Eyes open, he found himself staring up at the ceiling fan. He watched the blades turn slowly, steadily eating away at his sanity, making him aware of his boredom. Blinking away the traces of his waking dream, he stretched slowly on the couch and turned to face the window. Across from him, staring wistfully out the window was his love. Dead-eyed and just as bored as him, she gave no sign of acknowledging him. He could feel a sensation of bitterness and sour hatred building up within him. It took every bit of his strength to resist his face contorting into a virulent grimace. Immediately denying the anger, he felt emptiness inside of him and he curled up tighter on the couch. He had to say something, anything, but no words came to mind so he stared absentmindedly down at the floor.

"Why?" the sound resonated within the lonely walls of the house and seemed to surprise them both.

What he thought had been a whisper in his head was a dangerous word he had uttered out into the hostile, open air. Fearfully, he looked at the woman and awaited her reaction. There was little to nothing to read in those wide, astonished eyes for a while but there quickly came a flash flood of anger. And he could feel himself responding likewise, his lip curling up and his brow heavy with rage.

He repeated the question, less apologetically this time, "Why?"

She couldn't answer him, but her lip tightened and her muscles tensed, her eyes locked on his, cold and deadly.

He could feel the tears welling up within his soul, but he pushed them down and leaped off of the couch, pointing an accusing finger at his partner.

"We were supposed to protect her!" he snarled.

His wife jumped up defensively and clenched her fist, still unable to respond but no apology written in her eyes.

"We gave her a promise and you took that away!"

Trembling, nails digging into her palms, his wife averted her gaze and stared indignantly at the ground.

"So, dammit, tell me why!"

"I was scared." finally came the simple reply.

Shocked to her a response, he stared at her, stupefied.

"I was scared, okay?" she held herself in trembling arms, biting her lip, avoiding his burning gaze.

"I was here for you." his voice broke and was barely above a whisper. "What more did you want from me?"

She looked up at him, thrown off by the hurt she heard in his words.

"We spent years planning and this is what you decide to do? It was our job to bring her into the world!"

There was only silence to greet him.

He gritted his teeth and turned away from her. His feet were leading him to the door and he didn't resist. His hands on the knob, he felt a heavy weight dragging at his arm and tears falling on his bare hands.

Sandy hair in a mess, pale gray eyes wild and chaotic, she held his hand firmly in her grip.

He snatched his arm away from her, narrowing his eyes at her.

"I don't know who you are anymore."

He opened the door and left, nothing hindered him any further and despite the pain in his chest, he felt a sigh of relief deep within him.

6
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To celebrate the release of my new book, I am inviting you all to participate in a contest. The concept: Explore a person's struggle to come to terms with a strange, sinister, or surreal reality. This is a broad theme to encourage you to be as creative as you choose. Flash and full length stories welcome in horror, fantasy, surreal, or any hybrid genres. The only rule: Prose fiction only. Three winners will be chosen, who will receive 2000, 1000, or 500 coins + a signed copy of my collection.
Written by Jjautry in portal Fiction
More Than Two Broken Hearts
There was the flash of a child's smile. A single candle flickering madly atop a snow-white cake. A flurry of golden leaves sent flying into the air by small bare feet. The tiny fingers of an infant held gently in the palm of a woman. The woman looked up, her silver eyes full of warmth and love, meeting his gaze. A fragile smile crossed her lips. The sun danced with the blonde strands of her hair and autumn went on peacefully behind her. Then there was darkness, pitch-black.
Eyes open, he found himself staring up at the ceiling fan. He watched the blades turn slowly, steadily eating away at his sanity, making him aware of his boredom. Blinking away the traces of his waking dream, he stretched slowly on the couch and turned to face the window. Across from him, staring wistfully out the window was his love. Dead-eyed and just as bored as him, she gave no sign of acknowledging him. He could feel a sensation of bitterness and sour hatred building up within him. It took every bit of his strength to resist his face contorting into a virulent grimace. Immediately denying the anger, he felt emptiness inside of him and he curled up tighter on the couch. He had to say something, anything, but no words came to mind so he stared absentmindedly down at the floor.
"Why?" the sound resonated within the lonely walls of the house and seemed to surprise them both.
What he thought had been a whisper in his head was a dangerous word he had uttered out into the hostile, open air. Fearfully, he looked at the woman and awaited her reaction. There was little to nothing to read in those wide, astonished eyes for a while but there quickly came a flash flood of anger. And he could feel himself responding likewise, his lip curling up and his brow heavy with rage.
He repeated the question, less apologetically this time, "Why?"
She couldn't answer him, but her lip tightened and her muscles tensed, her eyes locked on his, cold and deadly.
He could feel the tears welling up within his soul, but he pushed them down and leaped off of the couch, pointing an accusing finger at his partner.
"We were supposed to protect her!" he snarled.
His wife jumped up defensively and clenched her fist, still unable to respond but no apology written in her eyes.
"We gave her a promise and you took that away!"
Trembling, nails digging into her palms, his wife averted her gaze and stared indignantly at the ground.
"So, dammit, tell me why!"
"I was scared." finally came the simple reply.
Shocked to her a response, he stared at her, stupefied.
"I was scared, okay?" she held herself in trembling arms, biting her lip, avoiding his burning gaze.
"I was here for you." his voice broke and was barely above a whisper. "What more did you want from me?"
She looked up at him, thrown off by the hurt she heard in his words.
"We spent years planning and this is what you decide to do? It was our job to bring her into the world!"
There was only silence to greet him.
He gritted his teeth and turned away from her. His feet were leading him to the door and he didn't resist. His hands on the knob, he felt a heavy weight dragging at his arm and tears falling on his bare hands.
Sandy hair in a mess, pale gray eyes wild and chaotic, she held his hand firmly in her grip.
He snatched his arm away from her, narrowing his eyes at her.
"I don't know who you are anymore."
He opened the door and left, nothing hindered him any further and despite the pain in his chest, he felt a sigh of relief deep within him.
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Crushes can be maddening, but the desperation of an established relationship is often worse. Write a vignette in which your love is frustrated by insecurity.
Written by Jjautry

Weathered

It was another lazy summer day spent inside, our bodies pressed together in the silence of the empty house. Neither of us said a word. He held the remote, absent-mindedly flipping through channels without truly searching for anything. I stole a quiet look at him out of the corner of my eye, disturbed by how strange he looked. After all these years together, looking at him now, he seemed like such an alien to me. He knew that I was staring, but he deliberately refused to return my gaze, something akin to detestation sparking in his dull eyes.

"Is it my fault?" I murmured.

Saying nothing, he escaped the room, leaving me alone and vulnerable.

13
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Crushes can be maddening, but the desperation of an established relationship is often worse. Write a vignette in which your love is frustrated by insecurity.
Written by Jjautry
Weathered
It was another lazy summer day spent inside, our bodies pressed together in the silence of the empty house. Neither of us said a word. He held the remote, absent-mindedly flipping through channels without truly searching for anything. I stole a quiet look at him out of the corner of my eye, disturbed by how strange he looked. After all these years together, looking at him now, he seemed like such an alien to me. He knew that I was staring, but he deliberately refused to return my gaze, something akin to detestation sparking in his dull eyes.
"Is it my fault?" I murmured.
Saying nothing, he escaped the room, leaving me alone and vulnerable.
13
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3
Juice
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They say things look different in the morning. Write a story where you wake up in the morning and things look REALLY different.
Written by Jjautry

If For A Little While

My head lies for rest, laden with doom

an outlook on life unhealthy and dark.

With the rise of the morning sun,

something clicks, something shifts.

Chasing away my demons, if for a little while,

replacing them with warm memories, hopes, and dreams.

I can see my aspirations and reasons to fight in the smile of a weak sun.

Life suddenly isn't so bleak, happiness is abundant and fruitful,

I can feel my feet ascending the stairs to paradise and serenity,

even if this solace is ephemeral, I tell myself to enjoy it,

even if just for a little while.

The treetops glisten with the shining droplets of stars

that looked so dead, so faraway last night when I said farewell.

The house that creaked with horrors and nightmares under the black

is now filled with a light, a promising glow that leaves the ghosts of the night speechless.

The morning grows old and the sun nears its throne in the sky

just as my optimism and light-hearted delusions begin to slip away.

 Life seems just as it always seems

and the birds wait again till daybreak to grace the world with their song.

4
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Juice
45 reads
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They say things look different in the morning. Write a story where you wake up in the morning and things look REALLY different.
Written by Jjautry
If For A Little While
My head lies for rest, laden with doom
an outlook on life unhealthy and dark.
With the rise of the morning sun,
something clicks, something shifts.
Chasing away my demons, if for a little while,
replacing them with warm memories, hopes, and dreams.
I can see my aspirations and reasons to fight in the smile of a weak sun.
Life suddenly isn't so bleak, happiness is abundant and fruitful,
I can feel my feet ascending the stairs to paradise and serenity,
even if this solace is ephemeral, I tell myself to enjoy it,
even if just for a little while.

The treetops glisten with the shining droplets of stars
that looked so dead, so faraway last night when I said farewell.
The house that creaked with horrors and nightmares under the black
is now filled with a light, a promising glow that leaves the ghosts of the night speechless.

The morning grows old and the sun nears its throne in the sky
just as my optimism and light-hearted delusions begin to slip away.
 Life seems just as it always seems
and the birds wait again till daybreak to grace the world with their song.
4
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2
Juice
45 reads
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Write a piece either poetry or prose, where each word starts with the next letter of the alphabet
Written by Jjautry

Mothers, Sons, and War

A battle casts doubt,

enter fear, gulping her insides.

Juggernauts kill loving mothers' newborn offspring.

Prayer quiets restlessness, silencing truth.

Under veils, weeps Xenosa,

 yearning zeal.

8
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Juice
41 reads
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Write a piece either poetry or prose, where each word starts with the next letter of the alphabet
Written by Jjautry
Mothers, Sons, and War
A battle casts doubt,
enter fear, gulping her insides.
Juggernauts kill loving mothers' newborn offspring.
Prayer quiets restlessness, silencing truth.
Under veils, weeps Xenosa,
 yearning zeal.
8
1
0
Juice
41 reads
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Write about something terrifying but not evil, dangerous but no ill intent...
Written by Jjautry in portal Poetry & Free Verse

Mother Darkness

You seem to chase your twin,

that blue, sunny-eyed fool,

but to no avail.

Do you feel lonely?

Why is that so?

You have the moon,

who sits upon your bosom,

marveling at you in silence.

The stars, they worship you,

glittering from the holes in your flesh.

So why is it that you feel so alone?

Is it the fear,

the terror you instill upon mortals?

Let them run,

let them worry

what do they know?

Let the criminals hide,

let the animals kill man,

let the world unravel beneath you,

allow the mortals to fall

in the dead of your silence.

Punish those foolish humans

who cower at the very mention of your name.

Who dares defy you,

Mother of Darkness, the Great Queen of Shadow,

wonderful and dear Night?

2
1
2
Juice
55 reads
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Write about something terrifying but not evil, dangerous but no ill intent...
Written by Jjautry in portal Poetry & Free Verse
Mother Darkness
You seem to chase your twin,
that blue, sunny-eyed fool,
but to no avail.

Do you feel lonely?
Why is that so?

You have the moon,
who sits upon your bosom,
marveling at you in silence.
The stars, they worship you,
glittering from the holes in your flesh.
So why is it that you feel so alone?

Is it the fear,
the terror you instill upon mortals?

Let them run,
let them worry
what do they know?

Let the criminals hide,
let the animals kill man,
let the world unravel beneath you,
allow the mortals to fall
in the dead of your silence.

Punish those foolish humans
who cower at the very mention of your name.

Who dares defy you,
Mother of Darkness, the Great Queen of Shadow,
wonderful and dear Night?
2
1
2
Juice
55 reads
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What do feelings sound like? Write a poem about an emotion. Use words that will make the reader hear what you feel. Make it fun, make it dark, make it sexy, make it sweet, make it sad, make it angry, make it anyway you want.
Written by Jjautry in portal Poetry & Free Verse

Wrath

I was choking,

spitting rage.

Judgement was silent, nonexistent,

if for a moment

inside my head.

A knife in his chest,

a red cloud in my eyes.

What is this

wonderful,

horrid,

thrilling feeling?

What is this unhinged desire?

The desire to kill,

the desire to maul,

they scream at me.

The frustration,

the pool of crimson at my feet,

it brings a sick smile to my face,

 a chuckle poorly masked.

But don't come near,

the hate still pours.

There's no need for another victim.

4
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0
Juice
68 reads
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What do feelings sound like? Write a poem about an emotion. Use words that will make the reader hear what you feel. Make it fun, make it dark, make it sexy, make it sweet, make it sad, make it angry, make it anyway you want.
Written by Jjautry in portal Poetry & Free Verse
Wrath
I was choking,
spitting rage.
Judgement was silent, nonexistent,
if for a moment
inside my head.

A knife in his chest,
a red cloud in my eyes.

What is this
wonderful,
horrid,
thrilling feeling?
What is this unhinged desire?

The desire to kill,
the desire to maul,
they scream at me.
The frustration,
the pool of crimson at my feet,
it brings a sick smile to my face,
 a chuckle poorly masked.

But don't come near,
the hate still pours.
There's no need for another victim.
4
1
0
Juice
68 reads
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Donate coins to Jjautry.
Juice
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Grab those old notebooks and writing journals! Pull out your oldest unfinished poem, blow the dust off, and get to work finishing it. Happy hunting for our oldest unfinished poetry. Use Poetry and Free verse Portal please!
Written by Jjautry in portal Poetry & Free Verse

Selfish Sacrifice

Silly little boy, why do you run out into the street?

Silly little girl, why do you cry out in defeat?

This silly little boy, he's fresh out of the womb,

Unwise of life and basking in his youth.

He plays with his toys and the boys on his street,

They always have games to play whenever they meet.

He's a snaggle-toothed bastard, but his mother is swell, she treats him well.

This silly little girl, she's a bastard as well,

She's fresh out of life, her soul she did sell.

She plays with her knives and her skin runs wet.

Her eyes are stained and her heart forever pained.

She's ready to leave, her mother never cared, her life was a misery shared.

By a strange twist of fate, these two did meet.

Together they came to fulfill the other's need.

This sad little girl wanted a way out,

It was a car she found to cure her bout.

This scared little boy, he wanted to be free,

Stuck, he saw the headlights, counting "1, 2, 3..."

He never got to four, the girl would see no more.

She pushed him out of the way.

On the street, her broken body did lay.

By the scared boy's shout,

The people did come out

To behold the remains,

a life suicide claims.

She was the sacrificial lamb, the martyr of the land.

And the boy grateful to the stranger who saved his hand.

But, alas, she was no hero,

She was a victim, she was no hero.

A victim to her own selfish demand.

1
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Juice
62 reads
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Grab those old notebooks and writing journals! Pull out your oldest unfinished poem, blow the dust off, and get to work finishing it. Happy hunting for our oldest unfinished poetry. Use Poetry and Free verse Portal please!
Written by Jjautry in portal Poetry & Free Verse
Selfish Sacrifice
Silly little boy, why do you run out into the street?
Silly little girl, why do you cry out in defeat?

This silly little boy, he's fresh out of the womb,
Unwise of life and basking in his youth.
He plays with his toys and the boys on his street,
They always have games to play whenever they meet.
He's a snaggle-toothed bastard, but his mother is swell, she treats him well.

This silly little girl, she's a bastard as well,
She's fresh out of life, her soul she did sell.
She plays with her knives and her skin runs wet.
Her eyes are stained and her heart forever pained.
She's ready to leave, her mother never cared, her life was a misery shared.

By a strange twist of fate, these two did meet.
Together they came to fulfill the other's need.

This sad little girl wanted a way out,
It was a car she found to cure her bout.

This scared little boy, he wanted to be free,
Stuck, he saw the headlights, counting "1, 2, 3..."

He never got to four, the girl would see no more.
She pushed him out of the way.
On the street, her broken body did lay.

By the scared boy's shout,
The people did come out
To behold the remains,
a life suicide claims.

She was the sacrificial lamb, the martyr of the land.
And the boy grateful to the stranger who saved his hand.

But, alas, she was no hero,
She was a victim, she was no hero.
A victim to her own selfish demand.
1
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One of the things that I love to try to do everyday, (not always successfully), is pull up a picture of a beautiful landscape and write a poem about the beauty I see. Try this. Any landscape you like, mountains, lakes, woods, the ocean. Whatever you find beautiful in nature. Even wild animals. Perhaps you prefer to write about the beauty of the stars and the moon or our ever romantic skies. Whatever you find beauty in, post a picture and write. Any form, prefer poetry. I'll do one too. Tag me
Written by Jjautry in portal Poetry & Free Verse

Mother Pine

She stands tall,

she stands alone.

She's known many friends,

had many children,

but they've all gone away,

leaving with the breeze 

and slipping into the ground.

She's old now,

she is tired now.

She's housed many of the homeless,

happy to provide safety and warmth,

but they've all gone away,

leaving only holes in her naked body

and filling them with cold winter air.

She's ready now,

she knows her fate.

She's lost her freedom today,

no longer a wild mother of nature,

but rather a resource soon going away,

leaving to be destroyed and built up again

however man's imagination wills her to be.

She's falling now,

she is faring the world well.

She feels her thousand skinny arms,

in agony, as they break beneath her,

but blissful to finally be freed,

leaving to finally die and go away,

no longer having to bear witness

to the destruction of the world she'd once knew.

2
1
2
Juice
61 reads
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One of the things that I love to try to do everyday, (not always successfully), is pull up a picture of a beautiful landscape and write a poem about the beauty I see. Try this. Any landscape you like, mountains, lakes, woods, the ocean. Whatever you find beautiful in nature. Even wild animals. Perhaps you prefer to write about the beauty of the stars and the moon or our ever romantic skies. Whatever you find beauty in, post a picture and write. Any form, prefer poetry. I'll do one too. Tag me
Written by Jjautry in portal Poetry & Free Verse
Mother Pine
She stands tall,
she stands alone.
She's known many friends,
had many children,
but they've all gone away,
leaving with the breeze 
and slipping into the ground.

She's old now,
she is tired now.
She's housed many of the homeless,
happy to provide safety and warmth,
but they've all gone away,
leaving only holes in her naked body
and filling them with cold winter air.

She's ready now,
she knows her fate.
She's lost her freedom today,
no longer a wild mother of nature,
but rather a resource soon going away,
leaving to be destroyed and built up again
however man's imagination wills her to be.

She's falling now,
she is faring the world well.
She feels her thousand skinny arms,
in agony, as they break beneath her,
but blissful to finally be freed,
leaving to finally die and go away,
no longer having to bear witness
to the destruction of the world she'd once knew.
2
1
2
Juice
61 reads
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