Just wanted to Fly
"This was where she jumped two years ago." Emma whispered slowly inching to the cliffs edge. "Maybe we weren't enough." She felt small arms wrap around her leg. Glancing down at the little boy with a weak smile.
"Maybe Momma just wanted to fly." said the small blonde boy.
"I suppose so. She always did love birds."
Only Words
I don't know. Everytime I think of something the opposite can also be applied. Words like happy or sad are only circumstantial. They change depending on the day. I don't think words can describe me. Only experiences.
The last minute trip to Disneyland because I miss it so much I almost have a break down.
The way I wait for my Dog to poop as we walk for longer than I'd like.
How I still play pretend as an adult.
The time and effort into sewing a costume just right and yet will never be fully happy with it.
3am fast food runs when I can't stop craving those damn fries even though i shouldn't give in and it's going to make me sick. But I do it anyway.
The way my mood can swing in an instant and i try to control it but, it's still there and I can't help but lash out sometimes.
The fact that i adore Movie scores more than the movies sometimes. Also more than regular music because i feel the emotions so much more and it's helping me controlling how I feel this time.
Even these words cannot penetrate who I really am.
It Lingers
The Darkness is here
It lingers in that corner
Disguising itself as a shadow
But, shadows are never that dark
It waits
The opportunity is coming
It knows this
It's patience is strong
I can't help but stare
I always see it
Sitting there, waiting
as if it were an old man reading a newspaper
It beckons
It calls for me to sleep
To drift off into dreamland
It wants me
It's always there
I cannot escape it
I will always resist it
It will always wait
A letter for him.
Dear Rigby,
I fell in love. I knew you'd be mine the moment I saw you. As you sat in the corner of the play pen with your big brown eyes just waiting to be put back in your kennel. In that room where we first met you wouldn't even move. You just stared at the door like I was invisible. No matter how much I pet or moved you, you wouldn't budge. Still I took you home.
What's funny was I wasnt even expecting to get a dog. My boyfriend had one at home and I just liked looking at the cute rescue puppies in the mall. I even had to call him to tell him you were coming home. I couldn't risk asking. I had already fallen in love.
I never had my own dog before. My mom wouldn't allow pets. But, you, you were special. I couldn't just walk away like I had a million times before. We were meant to be. Even when the horrible breakup happened and that now Ex-boyfriend threw money at me so he could keep you. That Bastard. You are worth more than anyone could ever give me.
You stayed with me. Even when my next boyfriend brought you a friend home. Even when he proposed it was still me and you against the world. I know what you're saying with your different barks and whines. You know when I am having an anxiety attack and just need you to lay against me. When i cry and you come put your forehead against mine. When you have nightmares and I calmly pet you and you kiss my face before going back to sleep.
I just want you to know that I will always be here. Even though marriage and a family is just around the corner. I will never leave you or give you up. You are my precious one. I can't wait for you to play with my children and watch over them like you do with me. I will always love and take care of you just like you do for me.
From the Third floor
I smell the earth before the rain. As if the desert is crying out to the heavens and begs them to quench her thirst. She knows her people will rejoice and her animals will drink. As the heavens graciously grant the request all rejoice. The tension melts away and the rejuvenation begins.
Looking out I watch the lighting begin to dance across the night sky. It creates a dangerous symphony I only wish to admire from afar. Touching down on mountain tops, leaping to trees, excitement and fear mingle as the roars of thunder echo throughout the valley. The rain grows harder, louder, and seems that its intent is to drown the desert with her own wish.
Hearing the loud scream on my phone lets me know that the flood is here. The heavens seem to always be spiteful with it comes to rain. Wanting to wash away more than just the dry, but, trash cans and cars as well. Surprisingly the game of light and sound has diminished but, the rain keeps flowing. No one knows when or even if it will stop.
There is nothing to do but wait. Maybe The heavens will be kind.