Thoughts
Geez God’s just playing Plague Inc. with us now
But in all seriousness
I’m concerned about my family because half of them live in China
And there are rumors going around that it reached to my state
And the school made us clean out our lockers
And my school might shut down for the time being
I’ll be missing all of my friends
And I love my friends
What if?....
What if...
I never told you
Would things turn up better?
Would things stay the same?
Would we still stay good friends?
What if you know my current feelings, and my thoughts?
And you know the things that I'm ashamed of
The memories that I try to keep hidden
What if you see my bad side?
I always thought
I might be bad
And I'm sure that it's true
Would you think any different of me?
As I Lie Awake
I lie awake at 3 AM
Only being asleep a second ago
I jolt up with a terrible feeling
As I rethink all the things I did
Thinking of what I did
What I said
How I acted
I re-think all of it
Even conversations that haven't happened in the past while
It still bothers me
Could I have said something different?
Should I have acted differently?
Do they think differently of me now?
Why is it that I can't be carefree?
I don't want to care
I don't want it to bother me
I don't want to think
Words
They say words can never hurt you
They’re wrong
They hurt
It leaves scars
Scars that won’t leave
Scars that I’m ashamed of
Scars that I won’t show
It’s hard to be myself
Around other people
I laugh
I smile
I go along with everything
I pretend I’m alright
Even though I’m not
When I slip up and show them
I automatically play it off as a joke
I don’t want to hear the words again
The words that hurt
The words that will always echo and echo
Through my head
Get out
Get out of my head
The Room With a Mirror
A girl walks into a room
“I see nothing,” she says.
But she notices one thing
“A mirror…”
But it’s not what she expected
She started to talk to herself
“It doesn’t reflect.”
“It doesn’t reflect me at least.”
She looks closely at the mirror
“I see someone.”
“Something.”
“But it isn’t me.”
“I see a person”
“Or at least I think it’s a person.”
She thinks to herself
“A beautiful person” she starts to think
One that looks familiar to her
She watches her
The girl in the mirror doesn’t watch back
She looks into the mirror seeing the girl doing all sorts of things
The girl watching the mirror started thinking
It’s like a flashback
I see someone who’s kind
Someone who’s smart
Generous
I see her do all these things.
They seem familiar
Things I couldn’t possibly do as well
Is this a mirror I’m looking through?
I can’t see myself
All I see is this person.
“Aren’t mirrors supposed to reflect whatever in front of it?”
The Darkness
Why am I afraid of the dark?
It’s nothing that you’d think
It’s not the monsters little kids fear for
Like the ones in the closet
Or the ones under the bed
It’s not exactly the dark I’m afraid of
It’s not being alone in the dark, is it?
Maybe it’s the fact that I’m alone
Alone, alone, alone
Alone with my thoughts
Thoughts I don’t want to think
Thoughts that I just want out of my head
Thoughts that are so strong
That they’re visible
Visible in the dark
The dark helps the thoughts grow
Grow and grow
Until the thoughts seem so real
And my imagination goes wild
The dark is a perfect place
A perfect place for my thoughts to become surreal
Because I can’t see anything
Only my thoughts
I’m not afraid of being alone
I’m afraid that I’m not alone