I make you this promise,

To my own heart I'm true...

I will not catch feelings,

And neither will you.

Because I won't be sleeping over

I don't wanna Netflix and chill

I don't care if you've got money

I can pay my own bills

I don't need your opinion

Your approval I won't seek

I only want to use your body

You may unleash my inner freak

I promise to take what you give me

I'll submit under your command

I'll surrender my body tonight

I'll meet your every depraved demand

I'll cry out when pleasure overtakes me

I'll let go of every inhibition

You're in control, I'll do what you say

Tell me now, tell me how, what position?

I promise to forget my troubles

I promise to take pleasure in pain

I promise to give just as good as I get

I promise we will do this again

Just remember your place in my life

Don't overstep or forget your role

My body is all that I'm willing to give

I'll keep my heart under strict control

Desert. Pint. 11:13 p.m.

right now in Barcelona

I'd be doing the same shit

or in Rome

or in Buckeye

the wait transcends

space and time and

ocean

but nobody does it

like they do it in

in the desert

sitting here outside of

it all

outside of the writing

the next book

the next hustle

all the next bullshit

sipping a Kilt Lifter

bonus lime wedges

from the belly shirt

and ass behind the bar

while outside the

moon burns white

above the mountains

drinking to forget

what I haven't done

or will never do

all the precious normality

I admire and despise

the constant condition

the constant weight

and lightness

the constant ghost

the hidden laughing bruise

the sick and tired prostration

before a night slowly wrapping

around us

a lotus dream before

the grip

sitting here at the bar

frontal lobe toggled

head change coming

the tapping in

mystery reopens

as the night moves

across the desert

winding and watching

the dirt and rock

and the grace of

moonlight

burning white

and shining

down

on all of this.

Nothing’s been the same since you

died

no matter how I slice it

no matter how I see it

no matter how much time attempts some bullshit move to heal it

You were in my blood and you will stay in my

blood

until my blood stops

and dries

your love and roots and every

bit of fur haunt me

no matter where I run

no matter which continent

or bar or highway

your little ghost

sits, sleeps, rides shotgun

your eyes the faintest of blue

looking wise in the sunshine

across the parks and ponds and lakes

and coasts

your little heart beating big enough

for my own

your belly against my palm

in all those shitty rooms

in shitty towns

or in the beds of

shitty women

you always knew I had

guts when nobody else

did

and you always knew I’d

pull us up and out of anywhere

we despised

closer to me than any human

will get

deeper under my skin than

my own bones

so far into my heart you’re still

the center

and though

your daddy was in jail

when you had to die

and though I don’t believe

in angels or anything beyond

carbon

you came to see me the first night

you were gone

and I held you on the slab in

the cell and fell asleep with my

hand on your stomach one last time

before you went off

to do something greater

than I could ever imagine

I want to take this afternoon

to tell you that I love you more than

anything

and no sacrifice I’ve ever made

to keep you

could hold a candle to how much

I still love you

six years past your

death

and I want to tell you here

that because of you

I know what unconditional love means

and if you were here now

I’d buy you the best of everything

even though you wouldn’t have

any idea what that means

but your little brother is almost

eleven now,

and he’s happy

and I still talk about you

and his tail still wags at the mention

of your name

and there’s even a little

girl in the mix now

she looks something like you

which is why she’s here

and while it’s true she doesn’t have your

shrewd, moody genius

I know you’d be proud that

I gave her a home

and on days like this

when the whiskey’s half gone

and I’m lost out on the road

while I wait for things to come through

while I cross my fingers and hope

things start to make sense

while I wait for the spines and brains around

me to grow

while tricky assholes have

siphoned my money

while I either do or do not

wait for eminent failure

or success

the Sun sits high and warm

and shines a beautiful

orange across the desert

while I sit in a hotel and

drink whiskey

to disappear back into

the days when you were

here

when I was alive

and we watched each other

swim

anywhere we chose

to swim

and while I’m sitting here

drunk

and staring into

darkness

I want to take this

moment

to tell you

I still love you.

I know full well this is not how to gather friends or win a competition, but here goes anyway...

I don't remember a time when these bars weren't my Monet

Splattered feces and urine soaked concrete to cushion my feet and lull me to sleep

I have an inkling memory of my mother

Though only through images of her mastitic breasts seeping the stench of pus and my rotting brothers

There are so many here

I can no longer see

My eyes have become maggot habitat

But I can hear all too well

The screeching of bowels being shredded

The frantic breath of my neighbor as he's led by rubber boots

Only hoping he may return

Or maybe begging not to

They will come for me too

They come for us all

And I pray I die with the first blow

To my head

The electric current

That should render me paralyzed and shock my brain into submission

I pray that I die then

Please

I pray I do not feel my legs shackled and my body hoisted

Dragged through scalding water

Like so many of us

Awake

I'm not bright

They say

I've only the mental capacity of a four-year-old child

They say

But I see no children here

And I know what's coming

One day

I am witness to it

Every day

How could I not know?

We all know

We ALL know

Everyday

The bellows of death

And discomposure

Of pleading

And insanity

This is our Symphony

How could we not know?

The melody of grinding metal

Smashing

Clashing

Screaming

How could we not know?

I have never known an outside

Though I smell it on their feet

The ones that bash my face when I am

Against the gates

The ones that send me away from this

This...home.

Into the box car

They'll pile us

As if we're already only bodies

Stacked one on top of the other

No room to breathe

Some will die, already rotting before they step foot inside

Fate already sealed

Not strong enough for a sadist ride

They are the lucky ones

This is their last stop

The hungry ones will eat them

Why waste good flesh when you're starving

Why leave a corpse to occupy so much valuable space

It only makes sense

The rubber boots don't mind

Less work for them

There will be light for a moment

My first and last taste of fresh air

I can smell

Though my senses have been

Dulled by the aromatic mingling of burnt flesh and fresh iron with abscess and shit

In here

In the final place

It's stronger

And it dances with the sweet odor of decay

It's an unmistakable smell

Decomposing organs

Terror

Agony

Death

I hope I go quickly

I wish I could say that

I wish I'd known the outside

Or that I could soak in the sun

And bathe in cool streams

Or feel the tickle of sweet morning dew on my nose

I wish I could wish those things

But I know not of them

I only know

Steel

Iron

Shit

Blood

Death

Fear

Pain

I only know the frantic jolting

Driven by electric shock

And fists

I only know screeching and heart pounding

Corners

Claustrophobia

I only know fluorescent lights and needles

Pitchforks

Rubber boots

And soon I'll know what it's like to be paralyzed

And incapacitated

But finally useful

The waiting

Is

Over

I will be stopped

No breathing

I hope

I will be bled

Dry

And

Delicious

I will be blanched

Bald

And

Beautiful

I will be dismembered

Cured

And

Categorized

And I can't help but wonder

If you knew me...

Would you save me?

If you knew me

would you save me?

If I were like you

would you save me?

I think you would

Good morning

I'm your bacon.

Factory farming sucks for so many more reasons than just this.

It truly is horror in every sense of the word.

If it moves you, research...learn...love...

If it doesn't, research...learn...love...

We are all living on the same planet.

Feel free to SHARE wherever you'd like!! :)

Crazy's here again, she's bored

Craving attention

Craving interesting 

Craving chaos

Her favourite toy: my mind 

Her plaything to torture and tease

Sewing doubt seeds in thoughts

Contorting memories like play-dough

Feeding insecurities her potions

She dances across the controls

Flicking the bitch switch on

Overriding reason and logic

Turning on insomnia

Swapping reality with fantasy

Lighting my comfort zone on fire

The forbidden desire glass is broken

And just as quickly as she arrived, she leaves 

Leaving behind her a beautiful mess

For me to piece together different than before

Call me names

Hold my throat

Squeeze it tight

Pull my hair

Grasp my flesh

Invade me

Rip me open

Take your fill

Leave me bare

I feel nothing

Is this supposed to be a club or a safe haven for me?

I'm weary from all of my transgressions; all I long for is to see.

But all I see are these wolves beneath sheep skin

Trying to glorify their selfish hearts under deceitful grins.

In their eyes my soul is nothing to dust

For I am willing to acknowledge my shameful heart as it rusts.

Elitism and hypocrisy, oh my heart aches,

For I once walked in those shoes until I witnessed my reality break.

Is this what heaven will look like? I pray not,

For I would rather be damned alone then let a dim light shine on rot.

Am I the only broken soul here that can bleed?

Or to fault and imperfection do the followers refuse to heed?

Woe to the man who looks for roses without thorns

For even the self-proclaimed angels can bear horns.

I can't do this alone for I am depraved.

Only in my humiliation can grace be truly paved.

-D.S.

It was the simple things

The way her nose crinkles slightly in disapproval. The way she watched herself as she combed her hair.

The elfish giggle and with it the sense of wonder and childhood dreams.

The floating sensation of love and lust that lingers in her eyes. Or the silent stilling of my pulse as she smiles.

It was always the simple things. The way her body curves like the hourglass of my youth. Fragile and irreplaceable.

It was the simplest of things to fall in love with her. Without hesitation or thought.

It was all so simple

he flinches in the light,

head down,

checking himself for sins

he might have missed

when he tried

to scrub the darkness away,

but his soul is frail

like butterfly wings,

and he opened holes

beneath the mist

he wears as skin,

shaped like the bristles

of whiskey and cigarette burns,

harsh like good intention

possessed by weakness.

but there is no door

in the cocoon

shaped for re-entry,

no wisp of nature's breath

that forms a current

back to the beginning,

no passage beneath the clock,

but he rises, knowing,

broken wings

can still glide home.