Existential
Everything we do, we do awaiting death.
It is all just one huge countdown until the inevitable.
Even the stars, beautiful as they are, are cursed with years and years and years of watching our deathly visages -- our sad visages, our changing visages, our wrinkled countenances -- until even our faces are lost amongst their memories. Because we are inevitable nothings -- recycled beings; atoms, stardust. Life is lost upon us when given the promise of eternity. We don't remember that we are slowly vanishing. Society won't want us anymore when we're old; there won't be much left for us to do. The new generation has been born, technology is advancing. In the many years after we're dead, they'll be places we could only ever dream of. But that will all vanish when the world comes to an end. What was it all for? What was this mess of destruction, advancement, love, hate, war... for?
(I don’t remember writing this)
I never blink. I’ve stapled my eyes open so that even in my sleep I can see you when you walk out. I have to capture every moment so I’ll have something to occupy my mind after the bricks that make up my sanity have become mere flecks floating through all the places I’ve been: my city, my home, the classroom where my voice was never loud enough to be heard over the collective murmurs of those who saw me as nothing more than the quiet nice girl. My voice has never carried far enough to reach you and every day you take a step back, so no matter how loud my cries sound to me, to you they are no more than the pitiful whimpers of a girl who never felt special. And even I can understand why you wouldn’t want to listen to her. Instead I join the dance, our movements are in synch but they are getting us nowhere. They seem fluid from the outside but our minds are burning out because the beauty the world sees when they look at us is not natural. Some factory worker glued us together and then called it quits, not bothering to give us the instruction manual, instead leaving it up to us to figure out how our hands fit together, and which way to step when the music starts playing. I don’t know how to step out of the dance without tripping over your feet. But I need to. So maybe for now I’ll lower the music, flood the room with silence until there’s no more air for me to breathe and the only option I have left is to jump through the closest window and pray my body is strong enough to take the fall. Maybe you’ll follow. But maybe I’ll learn to dance on my own.
Phoenix
Children of all ages
Illustrated pages...
Edited for conformormity
& moral deformity
In all out gross enormity...
So these words form in front of me
Real careful like...
Not suddenly...
So let it be written
So let it be undone
Look into my eyes
Look into the sun...
Delicately attempting
Insight & perspective
With intelligence subjective
Empatheticly reflective...
Inventive & attentive
Descending on dire objectives...
Hostility need not be wasted
On innocence randomly pasted...
In acts of retribution or retaliation
Hot hunting moments of one's
Aggravated-agitated-murderous frustration
& potential apocalyptic anihilation...
So...
When you blow a gasket
Stand truth to justice
To moraly appropriate those
Their caskets...
Wings-a-sail
Over brimstone in expanding rifts
Embers in trail
As talons assail
Paper tigers as I lift...
Wade through fire, filth & fluff
Do not engage-even the most rough
Particular are you, an emissary
With one true-inimical adversary
No other is enough...
My brother-my sister
Maintain all the right stuff
Most opposition-a-bluff
Wade through fire, filth & fluff...
Teetering tempt of fate
Edging some forbidden state
Dancing dangerously
Alone one's hate...
Contempt is great
Like when it's too late
Dance...instead...
Dance...
Tolerate your mate...
I say-you say
Words embossed
Rigid reactions enforced
Emotions tossed
Connections between
Apparently divorced...
A-star-a-cross
Manifesting greater awe
In so many of course
Any ensuing wisdom
Quickly fading-lost...
Existence-eventuality
Evidently divorced...
.
Feel it waver
See it flicker
Moving afar
Away those who bicker...
Into a solemn silence in lieu those
Who feed violence in throes
Of mindless defiance...
Ancient reinforcment
For endless souls...
The key element
That wrought one whole...
A well of curiosity
I still can't see
Entirely through me...
Like spirituality-science-philosophy-
Any applied philanthropy
Lattered idiosyncrasies &
All my assorted fallacies..
But I'm beginning to slowly agree
& do now wholy decree
What is really important to me...
Measured in centuries
Stoic in Earth & Tree
From epic fire
Into long deep freeze...
Understanding...
Universal harmony seized...
That which cannot be
Simply explained
In words or tamed...
The riddle of rain-the fury of flames...
Where duality is beyond anomaly
No pleasure nor pain
No loss nor gain...
Just one but together
A moment forever...
Exponential consciousness...
No measurement on how much there is...
The essence of compassion
Begins deep within
So much pain child...
Just let love in...
Queens & kings
Above all things bought-sold & what
Glitters in gold
Conjectured with what
Any angel sings...
So my bones grow old
Countenance-solitarily bold
Thoughts weathering cold
As wisdom unfolds...
Once upon this time...
An exemplum comes to mind...
An apologue void of cathexis
A fractured-severed nexus
Between what nature expects of us...
Leporous trolls below
Bridges between highest peaks
In darkness beneath
Do conspire & speak...
Oh the tales they have told...
& secrets they hold...
Hidden in gold-furtive so old
Covert-busy trolls
With their long-warted nose...
Secrets of souls &
The essence they hold
Coins flipped & rolled
Into pockets of trolls...
Historically & currently
Deceitful designs decieve
Fabricate some reality
Subjugate all to appease...
Cyclical life
Adheres no hourly clock
Heads of meat
Shuffling-stumbling feet
Mocked-rocked & shocked...
O' What enlightenment would unlock
& emancipate the flock...
Sniff the wind
Raise thy ears
Be chi with the seasons
Experienced throughout one's years...
Let perception ring with precision
Within the calmest breeze
As in meditation
Or prayer down-a-knee...
Underestimated capability
In all reasoned actuality
Pictured-puzzle-pattern door
...POOF...
The exit of a human
From our shared reality...
Wings-a-sail
Over brimstone in expanding rifts
Embers in trail
As talons assail
Paper tigers as I lift...
Swear no oath in allegiance or hail
No heed to deed paid in sale
As "In God we trust"
Begins to fail...
It's a myth
This indebted gift of thrift
The consequences of which
Are harsh & swift...
From imposing-controling
Ways of steel
Flesh may die or never heal
But a flash of insight may reveal:
In machine one never feels
Never sleeps or needs a meal...
In line with time
Do we so die
Time's a mear piece
Of my infinite sky...
Only something living
Gets to survive
Artificial intelligence
Isn't alive...
Streaming...beaming...
Dream-seeming hologram
With biological addition
Universaly encrypted-
Organic program
& it's repetitive rendition...
Remarkable are we
Momentarily indecipherable...
In such degenerate condition...
This disease of the dead
Infected the head...
Genetic mutations in
Mass contagion as
Babes are electronically fed...
So woe to thee &
Now fall deeper with me...
Creators in life
Growing spores
Chromatic thought
Blank canvas allures...
Cosmic castaway
Genius in artistry
Brush-stroked inside of thee
Perfectly-exquisitely...
Prerequisite
Get in front of it...
Tis but only one pure &
Masterful way...
Paint child-paint!
Color destiny over gray...
Look into your palm
Breathe & be calm
Now think in napalm
But level your storm...
Experience life
Outside the 'norm'
A mantra in thought
May spawn into form:
The machine is not real...
The machine is not real...
This little device that I
See-hear-&-feel...
Tipity-top
It's quite top-heavy
Tickity-tock...
Push it over already...
Adrenaline check
Progress & be steady...
Wounds bleeding fresh
Plastic-covered flesh
Traumatic social stress
Collective identity theft...
With fire fire shall be met
Organize, network, offset...
Move in earnest
Lift mightily from the left
This burden & it's growing heft...
Peace just may be hidden
Deep inside hostility
Bite down & get ready
Stoke one's ability...
Pressure test
Ignorance in all it's fragility...
Erosion-implosion-death-tranquility...
Look way up high
In flight immersed
Aglow in the night...
Mirrored thru prism
The essence of life...
What a sight...
What a sight...
May nigh be the end of
Our perpetual plight...
Alright, alright...
Thoughts cascading critical
Heart squeezing tight...
Mites in pillows & beds
Devour dried old dreams
That we shed...
Those nightmares in red
Now released from the head
Heart pumping raw-pure...
'Full steam ahead...'
Avenging scores
Of families
Systematically
Rendered dead...
As of late
Such wraith or faith
Misled as bate...
Brief were
Any intangible beliefs
In soft, damp soil
Buried beneath...
Relief from grief
& self-deceit...
Mettled & weathered for might
Settled & feathered for flight...
A dark sillouhet
Looming a firey night...
Bouyant-weightless
This new-found feel
Ascending such acquired heights...
Orbiting-areal-surreal
Surveil antipathy-shrink from sight...
Everything will be alright...
Let go & lift love into flight...
Wings-a-sail
Over brimstone in expanding rifts
Embers in trail
As talons assail
Paper tigers as I lift...
Made from Myth
You were crafted by gods.
Zeus struck down a ferocious bolt of lightening,
The electricity resurrected your pulse-
Your leadership was born.
Poseidon's tidal wave licked you clean,
The salt cleansing your soul-
Until all that was left was justice.
Hades engulfed you in a swift flame,
The heat of it burning away your sin-
A sense of morality left sizzling in your core.
Ares' spear pierced your fragile heart,
The cowardice hiding there expunged-
A war cry sounding from your mouth.
Athena's blade cut down your ego,
The gaping wound a small price to pay-
For the wisdom that took its place.
Apollo's purifying light filled your darkness,
The blinding brightness tamed your tenacity-
And softening you with the emotions of art.
Aphrodite's gentle caress awakened your desire
The expert hands molding your body like clay-
Your beauty blooming like a flower.
You were crafted by gods.
Do not disappoint.
Moments of Meaning
Time is a commodity
A currency
That can't be bartered
Or borrowed
We steal it in quick spurts
Along the paths
We are given
No marker exists
Indicating where those paths
Might travel or where
They will end
There are only precious moments
Remembered
Along the way
Like snapshots pasted
Along the continuum
Of the universe
That give us
Some sense of meaning
In our flash of existence
Within cosmic time
Epiphany
I awaken frail as frost
And slough away my dreams
Before dousing the morning light
And pacing dingy streets
The sun's smoldering done
I'm laced with pavement soot
And trail a charcoal cloak
In passionless pursuit
Hypnotic wandering, I breathe
Ashen dust and hear
All life's melodies ringing
Through the blackened streets
Until the ringing rises
And reaches a screaming pitch
That rings
and rings
and rings
A screeching babel and swell
Of banshee whims and wails
A cacophonous shrill
And deafening din which
Ends soon after it begins
Until I hear nothing
Nothing at all, again
Going home
I thought I knew what I was getting into,
When I fell haphazardly between your sheets,
One drunken December night,
When the world began to cease.
I thought I had it all planned out,
When I kept you up all night,
Talking and pondering the world
And reminding you it's your turn
To turn out the light.
I knew at once I wanted you,
The first time your lips met mine,
And I knew at once I'd lose you,
That night we lost track of time.
It was incredible to have loved you,
Although the pain of betrayal still stings,
I think of you quite often,
And can't deny the smile it brings.
Thank you for hurting me,
Thank you for loving me so,
Although you will not fight for me,
I'll fight to let you go.