Grey
Focus on me.
Her eyes big as the moon and full as the sun.
Focus. On. Me.
She shook. Fingers pulling through her hair.
Grey, you need to focus on me. You are chaos. Now focus, or I will make you focus.
I had not quite pulled her through to our side of the parallel. All this violent, directionless energy was tying her to her thoughts, and I could not help her to find her physical location. My mind had found her’s easily. We were sitting, knees touching, on opposite sides of a train car. The cabin was closet-like in size and lit only by candle. A stark contrast to where our bodies sat. Though we still sat knee to knee, the bright light and the white of my lab coat were the antithesis of the frenzied train ride. Bullet proof glass surrounded us, small speakers methodically stationed to allow for sound to completely envelop anyone inside the glass room. Two techs in the same white coat as myself stood at the door, ready to enter should I feel endangered.
On the train, I focused on Grey. I lit a cigarette, making sure to blow the smoke away from her wan face.
Glazed expression, hands trembling.
I need you to focus. We are going to get off the train soon.
Her head shook in reflexive disagreement. Fingers, fidgeting against her right leg.
It’s not optional. Look at my eyes.
A shadow cast across the window, and her eyes darted to catch the movement.
Grey, focus on me.
Her gaze made the slow crawl back to my face. And I held her eyes, irises gleaming with soon to fall tears. I sat calm and still. I flicked my cigarette to the ground and crushed it beneath my right boot. Smoke curled softly off the ground, bringing the smell of burnt polyester. And her breathing slowed.
Focus on me.
And her hand began to reach for my own.
And the weight of the room shifted. The change in atmosphere derailed us. Men in white entered from the door to the cabin.
Her eyes, wide open, deep and full as the ocean.
Her hands pressed against her ears.
Fear pouring off her skin.
And screaming. Shrill, never-ending screams. Her mouth flung wide. A noise somehow deep and high pitched all at once. The windows burst. Shards of glass flying in all directions. I watched, impassive as the men in white tried desperately to save themselves. But the caterwaul burst them as thoroughly as the glass. Eyes and ears bled. Hemorrhaging stomachs and bursting veins. The skin around the eyes all broken blood vessels with bruised throats and limbs.
In the lab, I lit another cigarette. A cool voice played through the overhead speakers.
Did it work? Are you ok?
I bent down making a show of it. The question ludicrous. I checked pulses, though one could clearly see from the amount of blood that I was the only survivor in the room.
Aside from the fact that you sent these two in to fetch me for no explicable reason that I can see, the small detail of this young lady still being lost in her own mind, and the massacre of blood lying on the ground in front of me...we’re ok.
Stints
Toothpicks.
The boy leaves.
Toothpick.
You burn a body filled with poison then stick it in a jar.
Toothpick.
The girl that helps you find light is distant.
Toothpick.
The music burns your ears and your eyes.
Toothpick.
The man drinks.
Toothpick.
The queen is filled with directionless rage and tears.
Toothpick.
The boy never flies home to you.
Toothpick.
Pills and a bath just hit pause but not stop.
Toothpick.
Words. And words. And words.
Toothpick.
The sisters fight.
Toothpick.
And hospitals.
And toothpicks.
And keep boarding flights.
And toothpicks.
And you’re never quite sure which hand you want to hold.
And toothpicks.
And toothpicks.
And toothpicks.
And no never means no.
And toothpicks.
And the shadows and disease and poison come for everyone you love.
And toothpicks.
And the hearts close up.
And toothpicks.
And toothpicks.
And toothpicks.
Toothpicks.
I didn’t know this was me until I read it.
Hey I’m sorry I miss you,
ya I know it’s not like that
I just don’t want them anymore
I have been so sad for the last year
I don’t know what to do with my life but I’m going back home
You don’t know how much I miss your face but I know it’s been ok so don’t forget about me
Haha ya if only you were the one person who didn’t know you were like a dork but I love you
I know I’m not afraid of anything else
But I am sorry that I’m afraid to be happy with you.
I’m sorry to bother you again.
Calamity
J: It’s agony.
B: I know.
J: What do you mean you know?
B: I know.
J: How could you know? You weren’t there.
B: Even though I wasn’t there, I’ve had to let go as well.
J: I shouldn’t have let go. He was my friend. He was my brother.
B: You had to.
J: No I didn’t.
B: Yes you did.
J: No...
B: It’s ok. It’s not your fault. You did everything you could to save him.
J: He was a fool! He always put himself at risk.
B: Yes, but he was never selfish.
J: No he wasn’t.
B: If he didn’t sacrifice himself, you both would have died.
J: Then we should have died together.
B: That would have been a true catastrophe. He was a hero.
J: But where did it get him? Where did it get us? Now we will never know what was inside.
B: You are also a hero.
J: What are you talking about? We failed! I failed! It was all for naught!
B: You still think the whole mission was a failure? This is about the survival of mankind. He knew what he was getting into when he began this journey many years ago. I’m certain he would have done the same thing if given the chance. He has awarded you another purpose. He ceased his story so you could write another chapter in your chronicle. In our chronicle. In the chronicle of man.
J: We were out there for seventeen years. And all we have to show for it is a corpse floating in space.
B: John, are we not standing on the surface of a planet in the Andromeda galaxy? We have just begun our search...
It Was Me
My uncle had taken me to the park
he was the only adult
who would play tag
or ride down the big slide with me
if i got scared
uncle was mama's baby brother
but i do not know why
she called him baby
he was a teenager
a gazillion years older than me
he drove us back home
drumming his hands on the steering wheel
singing along to the radio
adding in potty words
to make me giggle
when we got back
mama and daddy were waiting
to ask us if we had fun
and to soon
it was time
to hug uncle goodbye
you are going to be a great
dad someday, i said
he smiled
ruffled my hair
but what he did not say
is that he already had a kid
and it was me.