I walk forward and speak

Words come out oblique

Volcaburic insecurity

Words from obscurity.

Words from another plane

Somewhat arcane.

That be said, not vain

Although a bit insane.

But wait, let me explain

I tried to refrain and restrain

Just needed to ascertain

When I see you

I feel a sense of fire

Within me

I feel higher

I close my eyes

Let's feed the desire

I lead with my heart not

thinking that it’s too much.

Write what I feel, emote

Unapologetically as such.

Some may think that this

Is some sort of crutch.

Write in the moment

Don’t hold back

Here I am, take me as I am

Never hold back

My heart skips a beat

As you come into my peripheral

Close my eyes for a moment

Your beauty triggers something visceral

Lights flicker from the intensity

Of your incandescent glow

The fire within me combined with yours

We’re going to explode.

Am I more than

These words?

What comes to

Mind first?

A desperate man

With a thirst.

Need to release

Before seams burst.

Is it a curse?

Or obverse?

Flip side to the coin

Emotions I can’t avoid.

In a void but devoid

Attempts to poise

And rejoice

Ends in noise

Monday mornings

sometimes seem boring

and monotonous

same ole same ole feeling,

homogeneous.

Just want a sense of purpose

and meaning

more than just writing and

no one reading.

Sit here wondering if these

are worth keeping.

The never ending silence

Prying open my eyelids

Searching for what a smile is

When inside screaming in violence

Just want to feel something

Other than despair

Sometimes it's kept deep inside

And don’t want to share

Then I do but there’s

Nothing inside left to spare

But all I do is contemplate

Who? What? And where?

Am I part of the game?

Or am I just a player?

Barely making it

Through the day

Somehow I find

A way.

At times I feel like

I’m at my brink

But then I take a

Step back and think.

I need to try and

Implore my voice

Because at the end

Of the day it’s my choice.

Solitary

Destined

To be

Me and me.

What do

I mean?

In the end

You see,

It’s just me.

No one to

Reach for

No one to

Tell more.

I reach

But no one

Reaches back.

I give more

But none back.

Cries in the

Shower

I do this

For an hour

Screaming

For help

But no one

There to tell.

I Fall to the

Shower floor

As the water

Continues

to pour.

Holding my

Face

As I stay

In place.

I stand up

Take a deep

Breath

Turn of the water

Dry off the wet.

Change lay on the bed

Alone.

On my own.

Heart hurts and I don’t know why

My life’s just scrolling by

And I can never catch up

Just look up and say fck.

Why hasn’t my heart learned more?

That it’s not meant to feel anymore.

All I feel is a crushing sense of pain.

There’s gotta be another way.

Perhaps just throw it away.