Green is the color of letting go.

Green is the color of geniuses.

When green is muted it cannot grow,

If green is colored by weakness.

When green isn’t the color of letting it be,

Green won’t tint your mind or put it at ease.

The color of green can bring new beginnings.

The color of green is transforming.

If green is muted by any misgivings,

Or if green is colored with intuitive warnings,

Green won’t be the color of lessons well learned

And green won’t tint the life you’ve truly earned.

When green isn’t muted,

When green is colored,

When green isn’t diluted,

When it’s finally discovered,

Green is the color you’ll favor best.

When green tints your world, you’ll be obsessed.

Maybe I am the center of the universe.

Maybe the world revolves around me.

The world doesn’t exist unless I’m conscious of its existence.

The universe doesn’t exist without my awareness of my own existence.

When I close my eyes to sleep the world ceases to exist.

When I’m dead the world doesn't exist anymore.

Nothing can exist unless I can perceive its existence.

The world cannot exist if I’m unable to perceive the world.

The universe doesn’t exist if I’m dead.

God doesn’t exist if He's dead.

I am the center of the universe.

The world revolves around me.

But what’s created cannot be destroyed.

And what’s never been created can never be destroyed.

No one created God.

God cannot be destroyed.

God created the existence of the universe.

The universe’s existence cannot be destroyed.

God created my existence.

I cannot cease to exist.

Nothing can cease to exist.

The world doesn’t revolve around me.

Part 1 - Nadie Nunca

I. I always wake up early

II. I make my bed every morning

III. I brush my teeth and practice self-care right away

IV. I meditate and manifest my dreams every day

i. I don’t wanna wake up.

a) I hit snooze at least twelve times every morning. Every morning, I wake up to an annoying alarm and think, “I just fell asleep. I’m not waking up yet.”

b) My alarm is set to play “Yellow Ledbetter” by Pearl Jam and I hate it every morning. Every morning, I hate myself as I hit snooze the millionth time and think, “This stupid fucking song again. I’m not getting up yet. I don’t have to.”

c) Every morning, I hate myself and wish I got up earlier.

ii. I never make my bed

a) It’s hard for me to get out of bed so I never have enough time to make it anywhere on time. I’m always running late and I hate waking up.

b) “I never have enough time.” That’s a lie I tell myself every morning before, “How much time do I have left?” I never have enough time to make my bed because I never get out of bed on time. That’s a lie too.

c) “Why do I do this to myself?” That’s a question I ask myself every morning before, “God, I hate myself. I never make my bed.” And I ask myself again and again, “Why do I do this to myself?”

iii. I don’t brush my teeth everyday

a) On days I don’t need an alarm, I don’t brush my teeth when I wake up. And I definitely don’t make my bed. I’m useless.

b) I never brush my teeth unless I have to be somewhere, and I don’t have to be somewhere every day. I tell myself. “I don’t have to go.”

c) Every day I think, “Why am I so gross? No one loves gross. Why do I do this to myself? I hate myself. I’m not going anywhere. I don’t have to.” Maybe if I wake up earlier every day then I would hate myself less one day. Probably not though.

iv. I talk shit to myself

a) I start every morning begrudgingly and vacillate between obsessive chaos thoughts and self-deprecating shit talk. I don’t like myself and I tell myself all the time.

b) I hate myself every morning and all day long. Nights are better.

c) No one likes me, and they shouldn’t. I’m no one, and I don’t like myself either.

Part 2 – Siempre Todos

I. I always wake up early

II. I make my bed every morning

III. I brush my teeth and practice self-care right away

IV. I meditate and manifest my dreams every day

i. I always wake up early.

ii. I only need to set one alarm and I wake up with gratitude every morning. I always feel rested and think, “I feel so good. I’m going to get so much done today.”

iii. I wake up a few minutes before my alarm goes off every morning. I always feel calm as I open my eyes and welcome the beautiful new day.

iv. I always wake up before the alarm goes off and it's a reminder to smile and thank the universe for giving me life. I feel good about myself every day and I’m happy.

v. I make my bed every morning.

vi. I express gratitude every morning as I swing my legs off the bed, stretch big, and stand up straight. I always think, “I feel so good, and I’m so glad I woke up early. It’s going to be a great day.”

vii. I always have plenty of time to make my bed and tidy my room as soon as I wake up. It’s the first thing I do every morning, and it always make me happy.

viii. “Good job girlfriend. You’re doing a great job.” I don’t tell myself lies and say mean things to myself. I love myself.

ix. I brush my teeth and practice self-care

x. After I wake up early, make my bed, and tidy my room, I always brush my teeth and practice self-care. It makes me feel so good about myself, why wouldn’t I do it every morning?

xi. As I brush my teeth I always think, “You’re doing a good job today, and you look beautiful today too.” I’m grateful I wake up early and I love myself a little more every morning.

xii. I always plenty of time to moisturize my skin, do my hair and makeup, and put together a killer outfit. My jewelry, shoes, and nails always look great every day, and I always tell myself, “Damn girl. You look great.”

xiii. I meditate and manifest my dreams every day.

xiv. I love myself and I deserve love. I'm grateful. Life is good.

xv. Nothing is impossible for me. I have unshakable dedication to my goals. I’m a highly focused woman. I’m unstoppable today.

Part 3 – Cada Día

Rule #1. Write it down.

Rule #2. Write it down. Words have power.

Rule #3. Say it loud. Speak it into existence.

Don’t die without embracing the daring adventure your life was meant to be.

Set your life on fire. Seek those that fan your flames.

When people look back on their lives, they’re more upset about the things they didn’t do than the mistakes they made when they were doing things.

The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

I write wonderful stories in a wonderful way. I work for a wonderful publisher who gives me wonderful pay because my stories are amazing and everyone loves them in their own wonderful way.

I love myself and I deserve love. I'm grateful. Life is good.

Nothing is impossible for me. I’m unstoppable.

Dipping dogs.

Trampling turtles.

Cocoa butter biscuits.

Getting lost on purpose.

Daydreaming at night.

Buried treasure in the bellies of giants.

Lock your eyeballs.

Flitter away.

Your skin is showing.

Mine is melting.

Paper mache planets.

Ice cream dandelions.

Danger is lurking.

I have a flat tire.

Broken blinds.

Ties that bind.

Biding my time.

Timing the turtles.

I deserve love that's worth fighting for.

Love that doesn’t make me question myself.

Love that doesn't make me question us.

I deserve love that stops the world from spinning.

Love that sets my wings on fire.

I deserve love that makes me stronger.

Love that kisses in bad weather.

Love that lasts forever.

Today I find love wherever I go.

Today is just the beginning.

Today my soulmate sets my wings on fire.

Today the world stops spinning.

“State your purpose, girl!” The massive lion roared at Dani and snarled his snow-white teeth as he growled his demand. Dani shrank and cowered in his presence and wished she hadn’t sent away the Caiman and refused his offer to help her. “How did you get into the Garden? What are you doing here?”

The lion’s baritone timbre rumbled with suspicion and urgency like deafening thunder. Dani trembled as the golden maned behemoth leapt close enough to rip out her throat in one bite. She pressed back and leaned into the Garden’s stone wall, and willed herself not to scream or cry.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. The Silverback told me I had to enter the Garden if I want to get home. The Caiman helped me get in.” Dani’s voice quivered with fear, but her words were honest and the lion’s countenance softened.

“You’ve met the Vitruvians? They helped you? What’s your name, girl?”

“Dani. My name is Dani. I don’t know how I ended up in this world, but I want to go home. Please, can you help me too? The Silverback told me about you. He said your name is Auric. You and Ever rule over the Garden of Monsters, and you know how to find the Garden’s exit. I just want to go back home. Please.”

The great beast softened his tone and stepped back from Dani as he studied her face and fragile human body.

“I believe you, but I don’t have time to help you. Letum and his demons are planning to revolt at sunset tonight. I have to get a message to Ever at the Leaning Tower. Letum wants to kill the Raven and take over Sacros. Ever is the only one who can warn the Raven in time.”

“I can go with you. I can help you.” Dani pleaded and her mind raced in naive desperation.

“You can’t help me. You wouldn’t last an hour in the Garden of Monsters.”

Dani released her death grip on the stone wall behind her and straightened her posture in defiance. Emboldened by the Auric’s insult, Dani raised her voice and found a confidence that contradicted her small stature.

“I already made it through the forest, and I faced Tawa and Saanvi alone. They told me you can’t see Ever or you’ll both die. Is that true? How do you expect to get a message to her if you can’t talk to her?”

Auric looked Dani up and down as he continued to size her up. His gaze shifted into the distance and back to Dani’s eyes again.

“Fine. You’re tougher than I’d expect for a little lost living girl. But you’re right. I can’t physically be in the same place as Ever. It was a choice we made when Jah asked us to join him in Sacros as Vitruvians.”

“Why would you agree to that? Aren’t you and Ever in love?”

“Yes, we're in very powerful kind of love. But we’re also star-crossed souls. In the living world, we were fated to live out endless reincarnations of our doomed love story. No matter how many times we died together in the living world, we were reborn again to play out the same tormented destiny. We found each other in every life. We fell in love every time. And every time we were on the brink of happiness...Ever would die. It was excruciating for me. I could never save her. And every time I watched my lover die in pain, powerless to help her, I would die too. Then we’d be born again, find each other, fall in love, and die together again in agony.”

Auric sat back on his haunches, curling his long tail around his fawn paws, and lowered his head. His heartbreak was palpable. Dani felt her own heart break and wondered what it’d be like to love someone so much that she’d die of a broken heart without them for mere moments. She wondered how many times Auric died with Ever in his arms. She wondered how painful it was for them. Dani wanted to comfort Auric. She wanted to stroke his glistening golden fur. But she could only ask him how he and Ever finally stopped the cycle of reincarnated love and death.

“Is that how you became a Vitruvian? You were given the choice to stay here instead of watching Ever die over and over again?”

“Yes, Jah finally answered our prayers. The last time Ever and I died in the living world we begged and prayed to the Universe to make us a deal. We asked the World to grant us grace. We said we’d be willing to never see each other again in exchange for our eternal servitude to the Universe. We came to the Garden of Monsters for the first time together as passing souls, and Jah offered us release from our repeating torment and heartbreak. He said we could live together forever in the Garden as Vitruvians and Protectors if we agreed to never speak or touch each other ever again. We could be in love forever, and we could exist in the same world as one another. It was the easiest choice Ever and I ever made. I protect the Garden’s entrance here, and Ever protects the Leaning Tower at the Garden’s exit.”

“That doesn’t sound like an easy decision. It sounds more like a painful sacrifice.”

Dani wondered how anyone could sacrifice seeing their soulmate and falling in love countless times in lieu of unrequited love for all eternity.

“Sacrifice defines true love. It's a painful decision, but it's an easy one to make."

The grand Vitruvian lion rose to all fours and his majesty took the breath from the young living girl who was lost in a world of monsters and nightmares.

“If you want to help me – if you want to help Sacros – find Ever at the Leaning Tower and tell her Letum is planning to kill the Raven at sunset. Bring her my message.”

“How will I know the way?”

“You’ll have to start at the beginning. Listen to the flowers, quiet your thoughts, follow your intuition. Avoid monsters and watch out for demons. Most importantly, be quick about it. All Hell breaks loose when the sun sets, and if Letum kills the Raven…the sun will never rise again. And tell Ever I love her.

Olive was born on August 20th - my high school sweetheart's birthday.

She will die on November 4th - my birthday.

Is that meaningful or meaningless?

I hope it means something.

I hope you agree.

I know Olive is randomly meaningful.

I hope you agree with that too.

I know what I hope for you.

I know what I hope for myself.

I know what I hope for the first man I ever loved.

I hope he knows I still love him.

I hope he still loves me.

I hope Olive finds true love.

I hope I'll know that kind of love one day too.

I know you will find it

I hope you know that.

I hope I'll know that one day too.

She was 10-years-old with half a dozen cauliflower warts brimming the rim of her little right nostril. There was also a singular grotesque wart on the right side of her face just under her pouty pink bottom lip. The kids at school - mostly the boys - called her Wart Face Girl. While the cruel nickname was completely lacking any creativity, it couldn't have been more painful for her. She cried every day.

Even at the age of young age of 10, Wart Face Girl was always desperately in love with someone. She was obsessed with love, and she thought she'd never be loved in return.

By the time she turned 12, all of her warts were gone. The last wart to disappear was the one by her lip. It was the last wart to leave her, and it was the only one to leave a scar. It was only a small white blemish, and the only person who noticed it was Wart Face Girl. Regardless, it was her constant reminder that nobody would ever want to kiss her. She thought she'd live a lifetime without kisses, and nobody would ever love her.

In high school, Wart Face Girl needed emergency surgery. The doctors used a crank to open her stomach and they removed part of her intestines. She spent a month in the hospital, and came home with a new three inch scar in the middle of her torso just above her belly button. She almost died, and breathing was difficult for months. Wart Force Girl thought she'd never breathe easily again.

Now Wart Face Girl had two scars. One tiny blemish that no one ever noticed, and one live-saving disfiguration that couldn't go unnoticed. The first scar on her face made her think she'd never be loved. The second scar on her stomach made her feel like she'd never breathe easily again.

Time and years passed, but her scars are still there. Sometimes Wart Face Girl feels like she can't breathe easily, and she'll never find someone who loves her. But her name isn't really Wart Face Girl. And sometimes her scars remind her of that too.

“I know I look like a monster now, but I used to be a good man. In another life, I had a kind wife and a beautiful son. My wife and I wanted a big family with lots of children, but we lost many babies before they could breathe in the world’s wonders. The grief almost killed us, but we refused to give up. Our faith paid off. We were finally given one strong baby boy, and we cared for him with full hearts and unconditional love. My family was everything to me, but I lost them. And then I lost myself.”

“What happened to them?” The young girl quietly listened to the old man’s story as she stepped closer to him. He sat in a harrowing live oak tree dripping with Spanish moss and sadness. Within the weaving tree’s ornate filigree was the old soul of a lost man wearing the mask of a wandering spider. He had eight crying eyes that were as black as a raven’s feathers. The little girl reached out to touch one of the wandering spider’s eight hairy legs. She felt his haunted past prickling down her spine, and softly spoke to him again as he creeped into the palm of her hand. “How did you lose your family?”

“My son was eight years old when we lost him. He was taken by a cruel man with a few other neighborhood boys. We searched the hot summer days and the cold cloudless nights. The boys were missing for four days before they escaped their kidnapper. All the boys came home except my Jacob. My boy didn’t come home. My only son gave his life to save the other boys. Jacob died so they could live. He was a good strong boy; an honorable boy with a soul too pure for the living world.”

The girl couldn’t imagine the cruel grief of losing a child. She was only a child herself. She lowered her long lashes as her chocolate brown eyes welled with the wandering spider’s heartbreak. Sorrow and salt stained her pink cheeks.

The soft-spoken old man leaned back and sat upright on two long spidery legs and bared his grotesque body. His small size seemed to triple and he became a fearsome sight marked the unjust death of his only son. The brownish-grey hairs on his poisonous fangs dripped with rage. He became a monster in the palm of the girl’s hand. He seethed and wept and continued retelling his fall from grace.

“My wife and I died with Jacob that day. How could we go on without him? My wife fell to pieces. She couldn’t leave the house. She couldn’t even leave her room. I couldn’t stop myself from sitting in Jacob’s room. I spent hours there. My wife killed herself eight days later. I lasted four summers without her and Jacob before I hung myself with Jacob’s bedsheets. They didn’t smell like him anymore. How could I go on without them? Now I’m stuck here in this nightmare world tortured by death and demons.

"I used to a good man. Now I’m a monster trapped as a spider wandering through Spanish moss chandeliers. I'm lost here forever. I have nothing left but an eternity of loss.”