Taken and bound when young

Mouth covered always

Safe this way

Safe in chains

Slow breathing

Concentrate on them

Melting slowly

Gone for now

Now they are no longer safe

The prisoners that roam free

Are at my expense.

Unfortunate as it is

I’m captive

Of loneliness and loss

But who could love

The broken bitch

That not even her own mother loves

But who would ever believe me

People will say I’m not over you

The opposite is true.

My love has hardened and decayed

Becoming nothing more then indifference and hate

But still I think of you

Feeling the pain

The pain you gave me

The inevitable pain

And it makes me wonder

What made me unlovable to you

What cancelled your love for me

How could you claim to love me

When you left me broken

How could you leave me in the dust

When I did everything to help

I now realize

You were never ready

I was all in and you were halfway

Wanting the company

Not the love

May your life prosper

As mine moves on

Even as my heart aches to know

How you could stop loving me

My poetry doesn't reach anymore

It falls flat no one sees that

Breaks nothing

Falls to nothing

Just like I'm nothing

None will see me

I will turn invisible soon

As I have everywhere else

I have become another person

That blends into the crowd

none will remember

I'm not even forgotten

I never existed

Ok so this is probably a really complexed idea but it's been an ambition to write a series that the main characters don't seem to connect. It would be a 5 book series. In order of how they would play out:

SEEN

If Metal Was Human

Dimensional Dream

The Revenge of the River

Relearning Love

The ideas I have for each book are as follows (I will have detailed ideas and a summary for those who don't want to read):

SEEN: -A girl gets kidnapped to another planet and she must learn to trust the people around her or The Leader will kill her and destroy earth

_The culture will be inspired in part by Native American culture. Everyone on the other planet will have naturally odd colors of hair. They also will be more of a matriarchry except for the big leader he is a man. This is supposed to be odd. They also have a belief that if a women doesn't braid her hair then all the secrets she has will fall out of her head. So women without braids are not to be trusted. And women with short hair are believed to be women that hold no secrets. Men and women clothing will be a cloak like outfit that doesn't get in the way when you need to fight. This story will focus about on Senkina and her learning to find comfort in people.

If Metal Was Human: -A boy notices that something is wrong with him. His only soultion is in a time only he can access. He must figure out what it holds and find out if he can stop it.

_This one will focus more on Nicholas Charles's vourney that the future is as complexed as the past. He'll have a friendship with a girl and that friendship will be super wholesome. The plot will introduce us to is world and the future.

Dimensional Dream: -If you could stay in your dreams would you? What if you stayed? Well Andrew Lee is about to find out. He must decide before he has no choice.

_This one is more about the human expericence and how life can be worth living but if something drives someone away. They could stay away forever.

The Revenge of the River: -Elegance is given the chance to live out her dream but the river has other plans. Will the river destroy Elegance or will she uncover it's secrets?

_Basically this one is more horror like. This one is more on reflection on the past and how that can destroy you if you don't care for it.

Relearning to Love: -Samual James lost all his memories. Now he's tossed into this world where his memories hold the key. Though the whole world doesn't hang in the balance. His world does.

_ This one is all about family and how it isn't always the people you are related to. It also talks a lot about abusive relationships with parents.

Those are all my ideas. Should I keep trying?

To the women to claimed to love me

I say a very sweet and chearful Fuck You

That is for all the nights and days I wasted

Trying to pleasure the monster in you

To the man that called me daughter

I say look at your children

Not what they do

For there you'll see the true human

To my first ex

I say look at who you actually want to be

Not what the world has craved you to be

To my stalker

Get a life that no longer revolves around me

It shows all the flaws in your "Nice Guy" self

To the girl that I called my best friend

I wish that your boyfriend didn't blind you so much

But in his shining glory, I see that I am nothing

Nothing but a symbol of a past

To my best friend

Thanks for staying through it all

I know that we had times that most won't understand

But that's fine with me

To my partner

I loved you with all my heart

Not even death will change that

Stay strong for me Love

Stories have this trait, or maybe you'd call it a theme. They will take you away from the world, at least the world you think you know. They plop you in someone else's shoes and have you walk with them. A good story takes you to a place you want to stay in forever, or shows you the flaws in the world that you exist in. It will give you charaters that you will want to help or you will grow to hate. It also shows you what it is like to be somewhere, someone, else. This affects the world in a way that truly isn't always prevelent. It makes people learn to read others. Because of books I'm able to study most behaviors from people and predict certain behaviors. Books also helped me learn behaviors and how to deal with stress because of I can finish a book in 5-7 hours then I should know how to deal with all the emotions that come with that. Reading also taught me that there is likely more then meets the eye for not only situation but also for people.

The story that comes to mind is Harry Potter. It was the story that taught me that people could have true friends. That a person is never meant to be alone. That there is a world that could be waiting for you to discover. Where you'll meet people that you thought didn't exist. You'll learn that there are people that aren't going to get better, but yet others that just needed love. A world that is denched in magic yet can be seen as a world that parallels our own. Even when you think the journey is over it never truly is. Even as the ends seems near there is still more.

Abusive mother (mentally and emotionally)

A father that has no idea what's going on unless the mother tells him

No friends that live near me

The pandemic wrecking everything because my shitty family wouldn't leave the house more

Trauma resurfacing

No energy emotionally or physically

I'm trying to do everything during said pandemic including a job and school work

My happy place is honestly while I'm sleeping

Nothing I do is good enough for anyone

I'm always in some type of pain

People love to abandon me

I can't find happiness in doing anything anymore

I lost all my motivation to finsish my book

I don't feel i have enough time but i do i just don't use it well because i'm bad at that

You see that i can't do it all

Then you force me to do it anyway

i am nothing until you tell me that i'm worth something

Still i hope that you'll show me that i am something

Other what i can do to help you

But you haven't.

I can't take you anymore

I can't look at you and see the people that promised to love me

I can't look at you and see the people I'm supposed to love

I can't look at you and see the life you thought you were giving me

All I see is the pain

All I see is the broken promises

All I see is my crumbling mental health

All I see is the sorry excuse of "protective" people

All I see is the monster that won't leave me alone

I survive you another day but that doesn't mean you're strong

I'm stronger then you

And I don't owe you anything!