I awoke to find my skin complexion had changed

In what seemed like an abandoned schoolhouse

My clothes were that of somebody that had attended church the night before

Tattered enough to presume I had been in a fight

This school house had been turned into something other than its appearance. Old hospital beds filled the classrooms.

Dilapidated were all aesthetic aspects of my surroundings.

Windows through which rocks have been thrown.

Dingy white sheets on all of the surrounding beds starting to develop mold spores.

Indicating mid summer of some where that was extremely humid. The thought of Louisiana instantly fills my head with no basis.

I stand up in order to feel my legs.

Something simultaneously runs up to the window.

Catching me completely off guard and triggering the fight or flight response.

My legs have yet to formulate a response that agrees with my brain resulting in my loss of balance.

I suddenly fall to my knees catching myself on the bed frame.

The onlooker appears to be unaffected by my actions as he silently watch’s me from outside of the window.

I stare at the outline of his figure for thirty seconds.

Seemingly harmless I divert my attention back to standing up.

Grabbing the sheets along with the bed frame I notice the sheets on my bed are clean.

Quickly I double check the room confirming my earlier observation.

Now my legs seem to have feeling in them as I wiggle my toes left to right.

I begin heading out of the classroom into the hallway finding the ominously outlined figure by the double doors closest to the cafeteria. I look in his direction, then to the left, which reveals a problem for me. The set of doors on the left lead outside proposing this question. How did the figure get inside? Looking back at the figure the hair on my neck begins to stand up, so I start taking steps back into the classroom. Right as I set my foot into the classroom someone begins to tap on the outside of the window. Turning around as fast I can, only to find the figure outside the window as if he had never left. Immediately I look back towards the cafeteria now missing the dark figure. The tapping slowly increasing in strength, also starts to effect me. With each tap my motor skills begin to decrease. I stumbled into the lockers in the opposite direction of the cafeteria. Using the locker as a sort of crutch I look to the double doors to find three dark figures outside of them. At this point, with each tap I begin to slightly lose consciousness. I turn around, in a falling motion, to head back into the classroom. Except the figure that was tapping on the outside of the window is now at the doorway of the classroom. He taps on the doorframe one final time, paralyzing me. I regain consciousness as I’m being drug into the woods, but just as quickly losing it.

Finally, I awake in the middle of an old fashioned church surrounded by the figures.To my left, to my right, in front, and behind me.There is also one of the figures on stage as if he were preaching.

Displaying the body language of a lively preacher, without the noise. The preacher goes on with his sermon for another ten minutes, during which I remain paralyzed from the neck down. After the ten minutes he dramatically closes whatever book he was reading. The other four figures then stand in sync, all grab me, and begin carrying me towards the stage. They throw me in the tub behind the alter. I am still paralyzed from the neck down, so I begin frantically trying to get my head out of the water. There I sit struggling in the tub for three minutes and twenty five seconds. The entire time they didn’t move whatsoever, but for the last fifteen seconds of my life they began screeching this terrible noise. A noise, even after having woken up from the dream, I have a hard time shaking. It’s as if the noise originated from the back of my eyes, then clawed it’s way out of my head while simultaneously breaking the last of my spirit. Resulting in my full paralysis, leaving my motionless body to submerge into the shallow grave that was the tub.

In the behavioral aspect, I am Cinderella’s glass slipper so to speak: social isolation, disorganized behavior, excitability, aggression, agitation, compulsive behavior, hostility, repetitive movements, and lack of restraint. Cognitively speaking: thought disorder, belief that an ordinary event has special and personal meaning, slowness in activity, or false belief of superiority. In terms of mood: anger, anxiety, apathy (lack of feeling or emotion), feeling detached from self, general discontent, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, elevated mood, or inappropriate emotional response. Speech: circumstantial speech, incoherent speech, rapid and frenzied speaking, or speech disorder. All of these symptoms describe to a “T” exactly what I’ve been enduring the past two and a half years. Not so much unforeseen, because if I would have known the exact symptoms I could have possibly caught on a lot earlier. My trigger was the devastating loss of my childhood home. Then came the loss of my first love, and finally my loss in humanity (including myself). There it turned into an dependence on drugs in order to detach myself from reality. I then came to realize I was losing myself, so I tried to turn to college as my savior. Which, unfortunately proved that the damage was already done. It showed that I had completely disconnected myself with reality, and even though I tried as hard as I could to assimilate back into society it was too late. I tried to blame my drug addiction, and my family for what was happening when in all reality I was just lost in a delusion. I had been trying to figure out what was wrong with me this whole time, convincing myself that it was all of these other problems that had nothing to do with me. Essentially, casting the blame on all of the people that were around me and only trying to help. Realistically, it was a whole life’s worth of stimuli. My delusion was that all of my hardships were because I was meant for a greater purpose, really they were just a catalyst for a de-habilitating mental disease that is hereditary. Something that was probably inevitable with time, but was jumpstarted by a whole bunch of situations that I had no control over. I was a kid! Statistically at a loss from the very beginning. No matter what kind of outlook I had, no matter what choices I would have made to better myself. This genetic Trojan horse called schizophrenia would eventually have found a way to creep in and destroy everything I would’ve potentially done. Be it by becoming a better person through sports, education, family, religion, or whichever activities I would have done to put all of my problems behind me. No matter the scenario, the outcome will always end with schizophrenia! The timing, honestly, could not have been more satirically perfect. I finally had this epiphany detailing what life was about, well actually I was just finally giving into to the thoughts I had been keeping to myself, and beginning to express them on to others. Which was not a epiphany, was not a sudden understanding of life, was not a moment of divination, and was definitely not a turning point; it was a psychosis. I thought that I had figured out how to escape this reality which was just some sort of test to better myself, when I had really taken a long leap toward tragedy. Immediately waking from a dream, that felt like an entire life spent in someone else’s shoes, only to be in the same place the dream started forty-five minutes ago. Still, how do I manage to have such vivid memories of this version of myself‘s life?

Intro: I state majority, if not all traveling circuses/zoos are grossly inadequate in reference to standards which need to be re-evaluated. I mean, at this point is anybody really amused?

Incidents: October 11, 2013. Springfield, MO. A keeper at Dickerson Park Zoo was crushed to death against the floor by a 41 year old, 6,000-pound female Asian elephant named Patience. She used the narrow corridor to her advantage, lunging at the keeper, knocking him down, and trampling him.

August 26, 2013. Williston, FL. Patricia Zerbini’s Two Rails Ranch was home to the terrible incident which resulted in an attendee suffering life threatening injuries. This attendee had to stay in the hospital for two months after sustaining these injuries from an Asian elephant named Rajah. The USDA later fined the ranch for failing to secure a perimeter fence, which would have stopped unauthorized personnel from entering the animal’s habitat. That’s about it though, just another lousy fine.

June 17, 2019/ Dallas, TX. Witten, the one year old giraffe, died from complications while undergoing a routine physical exam.

Feb 20, 2019/ Kansas City, MO. Hamisi sustained an acute spinal cord injury after his head got caught on the enclosure. Resulting in death.

Columbus, Ohio. On December fourth, a giraffe calf died because of complications at birth. Three weeks earlier a similar incident happened in the same facility, Columbus Zoo. Having no background in this kind of stuff, it even caught my attention. Asking, “One is understandable, but two within a three week time period. Bad luck, or negligence on behalf of the captor”?

Citations: When referencing citations in terms of animal circuses/zoos your given twenty different links to click on. To put this into perspective, there were only five or six links on the incidents involving captive animals hurting people or crowds.

Cole Brothers Circus failed to meet the simplest federal standards regarding animal care. The USDA cited them on several occasions for not giving the animals proper veterinary care, elephants were said to have lost weight and also were not given the proper space required to live. They finally took charges out on Cole Brothers Circus when their elephants showed signs of abuse via a sharp metal bull hook. A humane society in New Jersey also filed charges stating cruelty to animals for overloading and overworking an elephant. Also, two elephants described as malnourished and neglected suddenly died within a two week period. There have been seven separate situations where their elephants became violent, killing crowd members, injuring dozens of others, and causing thousands of dollars worth of damage. For Cole Brothers Circus the list goes on and on until somebody finally realized that stopping the process entirely, was way more effective than relentlessly inconveniencing their lives with fines.

Hawthorn Corporation (John Cuneo) somehow acquired 272,500$ in USDA penalties while in business, how? As they say the show must go on, or at least that’s what they told the animals working the show. This guy lost four of his elephants to a human strain of tuberculosis, and in 1997 eighteen elephants used in his show were restricted from traveling due to a tuberculosis treatment they were undergoing. The USDA suspended Cuneo’s license on more then one occasion, and in 2004 ordered him to surrender all of his elephants. They saw the completion of this order in late 2005 seeing to the final elephants release into wildlife sanctuaries. I would further detail the extent of Cuneo’s animal abuse, but the fact that he was obviously an unfit care giver according to the several suspensions given to him by the USDA. Yet, was allowed to continue business as long as his fines were payed up is downright disturbing and this Cuneo’s idiot isn’t entirely to blame. Something has to change in accordance with the laws allowing this inhumane cycle of neglect and abuse to continue once your “fines” are all payed up.

Ringling Bros. Barnum + Bailey have been cited more than 150 times for AWA non compliance regulations since 1990, and have also seen the deaths of thirty five elephants since 1992. Sometime in 2004 they also lost a two year old lion during their trek across the Mojave desert due to an apparent heat stroke. After this, a spat with the USDA resulted in the parent company of Ringling Bros. paying 270,000$, the largest civil penalty ever assessed against an exhibitor under the AWA, settling dozen of non compliance cases. Ringling also decided to make a Center for Elephant Conservation, where they planned on chaining up majority of their elephants. They also intend on breeding elephants at this facility despite all of the government mandated quarantines. Sadly, none of these animals will ever be able to see the wild. Being breed solely for the purpose of showmanship, bravo ladies and gentlemen.

Zoos: Imagine an entire life spent behind bars, dedicated solely to entertaining whichever school decided to book a field trip that day. Conditions vary throughout the zoos of America, in fact the only constant in all of these are the broken spirits carried by every animal seemingly suffering from captivity. Believe it or not, there is such a thing called “zoochosis”. Which is the inevitable loss of sanity due to loneliness, boredom, and maybe even abuse in some cases. This “zoochosis” has become such a problem, it turns out me and the stir crazy zoo tiger are taking the same antidepressants. Seriously, some zoos have resorted to medicating animals in order to curb abnormal behavior. Which is a little ridiculous! Reputable exotic animal sanctuary’s don’t even offer hands on interactions, and really do not put animals on display to the public like that. At the end of the day it just isn’t fair to the animals, no matter how you try to spin it. Petting zoos that travel probably have it the worst though, subjecting the animals to constant travel and public exposure. Rarely giving the animals proper time for rest or much needed exercise, because traveling zoos are often cramped. These animals never get to catch a break, but it doesn’t matter. Seeing them constantly locked in cages or being shuffled around for business purposes, is really starting to become annoying. Almost as annoying as the people who want to own an “exotic animal” as one their pets, not even beginning to understand the complexities behind raising a cougar in a New York basement. Stop and consider the reality of it, these are foreign animals plucked from the wild expected to act like your average run of the mill house cat. No wonder why there has been incidents where a tiger mauls it’s owners grandson, or a lion escapes killing several dogs and trapping a child in his room. With very few government regulations, it is a miracle the streets aren’t over run by the exotic animals famous rappers buy then instantly realize they don’t want to take care of.

Conclusion: Something has to be done! I mean, there is so much to be done. First off, any form of traveling circus involving animals should be disbanded. All the animals effected by this liquidation should be treated with the utmost care until they can be transported back to their habitats or proper facilities. Second off, somebody has to change the laws regarding animal fairness and overall well being when put into situations such as traveling circuses. With the amendment of a three strike rule, stating if the owner so much as gets a fine for noncompliance, it’ll be a strike. Three strikes results in a year suspension of your license as an exhibitor. Eliminating the possibility of another Cuneo’s, thus shining more light on all of the animals that were abused underneath his spotlight. Third off, why do we still support zoos? If animals are becoming depressed after being locked in there for such a long period of time, then what’s the point? Never would I have thought, that society went as far as medicating zoo animals in order to manipulate their happiness. Is this whole zoo experience really worth the day to day torture undergone by these zoo animals who are finding it harder and harder to even put on a fake smile for us?

A roach just crawled across my keyboard on the table in front of me as I began to jot down who I am into my iPhone so that the reader may get to know me. Relevant information, right? Thought so, one who stands for nothing stands for everything. Dealer of BS, also receiver of BS. Grim look on life which makes for interesting poetic viewpoints. Depressed all the time. Lonely, but at this point by choice. Lost faith in my fellow man a long time ago. Women leave much deeper scars, and take with them hearts. Vanish. I have tried, doesn’t really work out like you’d expect whenever you have a purpose. Purpose, writing semi psychotic jumbles of word that will be appreciated when I’m dead. Death, never ending darkness until I find a void to transfer energy back into. Unless, this time I’ve actually accomplished what my destiny has foretold. Love, all the crap I continue to write in the hopes of touching eternity through literary achievement. Sad, for as long as I can remember. Don’t know why. Just always felt like I’d never be whole again. Friends, suck so understand that you have none. Family, suck as well. Never put stock in your family members. They are the only people that have an excuse to screw you over with no remorse. Unforgiving, is love. Falling into, said love, is always the funnest part for me. Being in it. Different story. Trust left this place a long time ago, along with forgiveness. So train wrecks and heart aches, always. Fortunate, to have my peace of mind amidst utter chaos. Chaos called. My life, is balanced madness within a tropical storm that takes many different forms. Excuses, the building blocks to my very existence. Hours, I’ve spent the last 16 on this couch trying to make sense of it all. Rest of my life, what it will take to realize I may never make sense of it all. Apologies, given but not meant. Weak, the people on which my demons prey. Pray, been a long time since I have. Why, have you? Okay then. Faith, in myself. Where else would it be? Inspiration, a creative muse. Pain. Agony. Energy. Desperation. Understanding. Release. Channel. Answers, In the funniest places. People, only use you for what they can. Not capable of higher thought. Self obsessed. Careless. Greedy. Ungrateful. Not worthy. Lost, are all of us who seek purpose. Blessings, take form of something relevant to the situation. Crazy, are the minds that are truly unique. Thought process, this was mine. Clueless, cause I don’t even know who I am..

Hate is something with an uncontrollably fast way of destroying the integrity of mankind. Understand that giving in to the thought of hate, no matter what side of it you stand, is unintentionally allowing it to manifest itself into your life. Just ignore it! Let it go, which is hard for people who have been afflicted by hate for no reason, but necessary in the next step. Moving on. Counteract hate with love, no matter how offensive something maybe, turn the other cheek. Don’t give in to hates ability to make you mad, upset, or bias towards another person. Especially because you don’t even know that persons name. How do you not know someone, but you hate them? It epitomizes stupidity, yet we continue to allow it to tear this country apart from the very core of beliefs that make us Americans. I’m beginning to be embarrassed of my country. It’s lack of humanity. It’s blatant disregard of a people’s plight. Its publicized degradation of a gender. It’s sole allegiance to profiting off of others misfortunes. Ignorance towards greed, while simultaneously blaming other countries for their lack of empathy towards American people. What!? I must be dreaming or having an extremely depressing nightmare. People are PEOPLE! Not a race. Not a religion. Not a bias! A people! A people capable of love but incapable of understanding one another. Why? Can you answer that without saying “they did this” “they said this” “they started this” without pointing fingers in the others direction. I thought so..try this, next time point the finger at yourself. Then evaluate based off self reflection, find the reason you feel the way you do, capture that feeling, and let it GO! Forgive the person you had originally pointed the finger at, and apologize for your lack of self understanding. Then ask them who they are, whats their favorite color, activity, sport to watch on television, if they saw last weeks Game of Thrones episode, if they are okay, if they need a hug, but lastly let them know you love and appreciate their existence as a fellow human being. Then watch, watch the hate dissipate. Watch them instantly regret what they said. Watch them try to figure out the reasoning behind being so hateful towards you. Finally, watch the smile that begins to take over their face cause happiness is contagiously unstoppable and so much easier to succumb to. Happiness also has meaning and purpose. Whereas bias, prejudice, and opinions have no source. Happiness is sourced from the soul, and based off mankind’s essence as a whole. For we are so negatively affected by each others presence that we are literally destroying ourselves, the earth, and each other. Wake up, you may be unique but your not the only person alive. Other people exist in conjunction with your self obsessed storyline. If this doesn’t somehow strike meaning in your heart. I am sorry you are so lost in your ways that ignorance shields you from guidance, or these so called attempts to corral mankind one final time before it is all said and done.

Overview: A teenage girl returns home from rehab. Her father has moved to a somewhat secluded house, with a forest surrounding. Finding her father happily remarried, and her family with a new feeling to it. She has a little brother, whose found a friend in the Stepmom’s son. So she can’t help but feel unwanted. These “unwanted” feelings begin to manifest in the form of resentment towards the family. Her emotions get the best of her one day resulting into an argument with the family, so she begins wandering the woods for long periods of time to escape the family. She finds this spot in the woods that seemingly calls her name. Visiting this spot whenever something brings her down. This spot becomes her safe haven from reality. Unfortunately, the location has a history that she is completely unaware of until it’s too late.

Body1. Our story starts with a car ride. This car contains our main character “Lacey Ashe”. She is on her way back from a year and a half long stay at Clean Views rehab. She developed a nasty drug addiction whenever her mother died. Her mother committed suicide because of her fathers infidelity (or so she thought). So even though her father remained in contact the entire stent, and paid for everything. She still has this unspoken hatred she has yet to express, which continues to grow as he continues to not shut up the entire car ride. She begins to wonder where he is going whenever he misses a turn she expected to take, so she ask. Her father then goes into detail about everything he failed to mention in the letters. Revealing that he has remarried, that he decided to relocate away from everything, and that the family is eagerly anticipating her arrival. He then also explains that her brother sort of developed a strong bond with his new stepbrother in her absence. This is all extremely overwhelming for her. Lacey doesn’t really know how to react to all of this information her father has ambushed her with. So she attempts to revert back to the training exercises in rehab, addressing the problem.

Unfortunately, all her previous training couldn’t have prepared her for her fathers reaction. Her father is completely appalled by her one sided observation. So he uses anger to express this, which instantly ignites Lacey’s feeling of hatred. So she goes off about everything and anything for the final five minutes of ride ending her rant right as they pull up to the house. Making for an awkward first encounter. She steps out of the car displaying an attitude as her father steps out displaying regret and confusion.

Body2. Lacey sit in her bed eventually falling asleep, but she suddenly regains consciousness. She is walking through a Forrest that seems to be fantasy like in nature. In disbelief that this is actually a dream. She hasn’t had one of those in years, and you can’t control dreams like this. Making every choice based off free will, not with the usual constraints of a blurred walkthrough. Slowly walking along this ridge and admiring the beautiful landscapes, she notices a nest like tree across the way. Overcome with curiosity, she immediately steps in the tree’s direction. Unknowingly walking right off of the ridge like cliff. Beginning to fall she realizes that she can’t control this aspect of the dream like reality. This results in sheer panic! Unable to see the ground below her, but somehow understanding the amount of time till impact. She starts to prepare for the gruesome smack. Closing her eyes right before contact, she is thrust back into the reality of her bedroom following the acceptance of death. Where life is now lacking in the comfort she possessed while in control of her dream.

Absence of breath was the only side effect of falling from a cliff in your dreams. So despite that, her dream was just a really weird dream...that’s it. Thought Lacey as she is stepping out of bed to get drink of water to combat the lack of breath. As soon as she places her feet upon the ground, she felt something weird. Her right foot which she kept planted on the ridge, as she foolishly placed the other, was slightly irritated with pain. Quickly she follows this realization up with an examination in the dark. Turning her foot over to find three deep cuts and several little scrapes. With disbelief she begins scurrying towards the bathroom to turn the light on. Finding the cuts and scrapes to no longer be there, on either foot!

Yet, she still feels the same shooting pain she did when she jumped out of bed. For historical purposes Lacey thens grab a glass of water and starts searching for a notebook. Finding one, she heads to the desk and cuts on her lamp. Scribing the events that just took place for future reference. To which the viewer looking at Lacey from the windows perspective, gets dragged out of the window and in an upwards direction towards the tops of trees surrounding her window. Revealing a crows departure from right above Lacey’s bedroom.

The next day Lacey is left in charge of her siblings. Which she doesn’t mind, because she sees the opportunity to get a lay of the land and get to know the new stepbrother. So as soon as the parents leave she begins questioning her brothers knowledge of the area. Posing questions based off the landscape of her dream. She strikes oil when her biological brother says that she is describing a quarry near by. Lacey insists they take her, bored to death, they comply with her demands. As all of them walk to the quarry, Lacey goes over everything she missed (birthdays, graduation, etc). Explaining her actions in the hope her brother won’t follow her path. She suddenly recognizes her surroundings, sort of taking the lead. Leaving her brothers in the dust so to speak, as she is caught up the memory of her dream again. Reality begins to fade out. She then begins to get entirely different feeling than the one felt in her dream. Like she’s being watched by a despicable evil. The feeling insatiably grows stronger as she attempts to find the source of this ubiquitous gaze. Making eye contact with the aforementioned crow, as he leaves a perch atop the trees. She follows the crow as his flight carries her attention to the same location which captured her curiosity in last night’s dream. Violent, were the cries of the now non existent crow. As they slowly changed into the cries of her little brothers, for she had foolishly taken the same step. Followed by the same exact feeling of panic previously felt. Within this instant, Lacey’s biological brother desperately throws himself in her direction. Using his motion to counteract hers, thus flinging her back towards safety...relentlessly propelling himself to danger though.

Lacey barely makes it on to the ridge, surely falling if not for her stepbrothers arm yanking her the rest of the way. In shock, Lacey effortlessly tunes out the Stepbrother’s screams for Lacey’s biological brother as she begins to notice the blood leaking from the bottom of her left foot...not her right one. After the stepbrother details Lacey’s actions leading to her biological brother’s death, the parents begin to blame Lacey’s use of drugs. To which she desperately pleads her case of sobriety and blames the crow. The stepbrother then ask her what the fuck she is talking about, that she had just pointlessly started walking in the direction of the cliff, that her focus didn’t break the whole time! That she was in this non responsive state. That they tried to get her attention 20 yards from the cliff, but she just didn’t respond. Proclaiming that she was possessed or on something. Now the parents begin bombarding Lacey with questions regarding her choice of drugs that lead to the episode. Lacey tired of defending her sobriety, and dwindling on belief in her own recollection of events. Explodes, pushing the parents out of her way and running out of the door as fast as she can.

Body3. Running away from everything that had taken place back there, she doesn’t plan on returning. She comes to a stop because she was not familiar with the trees and bushes that she was beginning to come across. Lost, looking for any signs of familiar landmarks. She finds one....she sees the ridge that her brother had fallen off of earlier. This would mean that she is on the same side as the nestlike tree. So she desperately begins to look for said tree, considering it had previously caught her gaze earlier that day resulting in the death of her biological brother. Frantically searching for this tree, she loses track of time. Night has become Lacey’s only companion. Unexpectedly, Lacey starts to feel extremely exhausted. Then the caw of a mysterious crow, followed by a boost of energy. Suddenly she feels the ever present gaze of evil casting its many eyes upon her with its many views. Like before, she looks atop the trees for the crow as his caws slowly grow close. This time, every time she glances towards the tree tops she fails to notice this ghastly figure behind every tree she happens to check. Ignorant to its presence, and still blindly searching for this crow who now lacks a caw.

Lacey, falls right into the base of the nest like tree. Simultaneously becoming void of consciousness. From behind this nest like tree, creeps a Lacey..that isn’t quite Lacey. Romantically staring down at Lacey, this thing circles her, slowly draining Lacey of that being which makes us human. Squeezing Lacey’s very essence from her soul, this thing uses its finger to trace Lacey’s figure from tip of toe to top of head. Lifting the hair on the side of Lacey’s head, it begins to whisper into her ear. Lacey then laughs, followed with a briefly acknowledged emotion of sadness, and then returns to the expression of laughter as the creature lets go of her hair. Now standing, the creature resembling Lacey acts as to hear something in the distance. Walking out of the Frame, it turns back to blow Lacey a goodbye kiss before completely retreating from the viewer’s focus. To which you hear Lacey’s family exclaim in joy, for they have finally found something carrying itself like Lacey. The viewer then begins to zoom in on Lacey in her unconscious state sort of entering her mind. There Lacey is found standing beside a lonely stretch of road. Not knowing why, she looks around for answers. She then hears a car approaching in the distance. Focused on the road, the car passes revealing her and her father arguing days before. Then Lacey notices a ghastly figure, which was hiding behind the trees in the previous scene, sitting adjacent to her on the other side of the road. As the ghastly figure acknowledges Lacey’s presence, she attempts to hide. Upon its acknowledgement of her, it seemingly begins rushing at Lacey just to sort of vanish as Lacey hides behind the shrubbery alongside the road. Waiting for its arrival Lacey trembles in fear, so much so that a bead of sweat begins to run down her forehead. No longer can she take this feeling of eerie anticipation, she jumps up and hastily runs in the direction her back was just facing. The very moment her head completes the one hundred and eighty degree turn. She becomes paralyzed with fear, for our ghastly figure was patiently awaiting her flight response to take control of her feeble mind. It now looks Lacey in the eye, but she feels as if thing is reaching into her soul. She begins to fight, in order to break loose of its ominous gaze. Right as she musters up the strength to break free, her neck snaps.

Now Lacey finds herself in the woods immediately surrounding her home. Lacey can see her bedroom, suddenly the light in her room switches on. A minute later Lacey sees herself place the notebook down, pull out the chair, sit down and begin writing. Watching as the crow flys from atop his perch that is her window, she sees the ghastly figure again. It steps out of hiding, this time directly from the bush underneath her window walking in the direction that her brothers took in order to show Lacey the quarry she wanted to visit so badly. Shifting into the day of the incident involving her biological brother, she then sees that it eclipsed her entire background when placing her in that non responsive state to which she lost her loved one. Finally revealing to her its very presence behind every tree she was checking the crow for....Then it shows her through his eyes, what it is experiencing at that very moment. Lost is Lacey, as it looks at itself in a bathroom mirror. Trying to understand how she feels it’s presence so strongly, but sees her reflection in the mirror. It steps away from the mirror walking through the already opened front door onto the front porch. Stopping at the top of the steps it looks towards the heavens, making its body resemble that of one being crucified. Gripping a large, bloodied kitchen knife in its left hand. The knifes point is positioned down, allowing for the excess blood to easily drip off of the knife and onto the already bloody front porch. Still seeing things from its perspective, Lacey watches as her essence barely escapes from its loosely held lips and returns to her physical body that remains unconscious. Awaking from what she was hoping would be a really weird nightmare. She finds herself at the beginning of her driveway. Somewhat relieved not to be out in the woods but still worried about where she is, she begins to stand. Standing up, she runs to the back of the house first (which is the closest side to her). She slowly creeps around the front finding the dark entity still posed a top the steps. Approaching the bottom step, Lacey stops as the entities neck violently breaks resulting in this downward glare directly at her. Sharing with her all of its past atrocities, including its more recent atrocities involving her. To which she finds herself now in its crucified pose, and wielding the bloodied knife in her right hand. Freeing herself, she then studies the house.

Finding the terrible acts she had committed, and also finding a now realistic solution for her problem. There sat her desk chair, sitting all alone beside the window.

Swiftly kicked was the chair, whose absence resulted in a necks snap so distinct....it scares the crow from atop his perch above Lacey’s window. The viewer goes back over the gruesome carnage that lay amidst the house capturing everybody’s lifeless body. Backpedaling, the viewer heads out of the front door. Revealing that someone drug their bloody finger from the front door frame, down the side of the house ending at the corner. To which our viewer turns to the sunrise, now displaying porch railing and support beam. On both of which are bloodied handprints, as if somebody gripped the support beam and placed the other hand on the porch railing while awaiting the beautiful sunrise (or the perfect time to reflect on how perfectly it pulled this one off, equaling five fresh souls). Viewer is now beginning to pan out, triggering the crows hop onto the porch railing where he starts pecking the bloodied handprint. Now the viewer has panned out to the point you see the arrival of the homicide unit to investigate the biological brother’s death, and the departure of our friendly foreshadowing crow.

Closing: Lacey’s dependence on drugs made her a weak person, but the rehab she had underwent tried to rid Lacey of this weakness. Momentarily doing so, she was on the path to a perfect life. That is, until her father brought the anger out of her making her snap in the car ride home from the rehab. This brief weakness was all that it took to allow our ghastly entity to familiarize itself with Lacey’s past demons. She had unknowingly welcomed an archaic darkness into her life by simply giving into her rage. This thing fed off of this tiny bit of hatred, amassing it’s strength through the manipulation of her dreams by allowing her to think she was in control the entire time. When in reality, she lost control the moment she went off on her father in the car (as portrayed in the closing scene). Thus, diluting reality with delusion! It gifted her the ability, of what she thought was lucid dreaming, only as means of subtly pushing her in the direction of INSANITY.

Order of significance, least disappointing to most disappointing. In January, I opened up to some girl I met online which is a big deal considering my past. She promised to be there, and not to judge me once all was revealed. Unfortunately, her reaction was shared by the many people whom previously stood in her shoes. Shock, disgust, and utter repulsion to the fact she had ever given me the time of day.

My fifth rejection segues into the fourth, rejection of thy self. Detailing the loss of hope regarding my feeble attempts at happiness. Realizing that I am the sole recipient of blame, no matter the situation or circumstance. Shouldering the weight thrust upon me, but never actually understanding it wasn't my burden to bear. Explaining why I withstood the abuse for so long, thus preparing me for the third rejection.

Turns out my family never cared about me. Believing the lies told by my stepbrother they began rejecting every idea other than his. Painstakingly revealing to me their true intentions, using my stepbrother's drama as a means to remove me from the family.

Next, was my rejection of the truth. Blindly walking right back into the traps set at my feet by those claiming to care about me, and doing so whole heartedly if it meant momentarily grasping onto the delusion of family given to us by societal dogmas.

My last rejection was a result of the other rejections, the rejection of love. After dealing with so much rejection, how am I honestly suppose to understand acceptance of any kind. I didn't, or at least remained unaware of it until it was too late. Rejecting her love, for the love I had come to know was a lie and used only as a weapon.

Focus zooms down from within squeaky ceiling fan.

But slowly so that you are left wondering what the noise is.

Onto CJ as he is preparing himself for sleep.

CJ says, “one sheep, two sheep, three sheep..three sheep...three sheep.”, to which his facial muscles relax and his breathing pattern changes.

Focus then changes direction, now zooming in on a night light beside the bed. You see a fly start nearing the light, eventually attempting to land on said light. When doing so the zap shatters the night light.

CJ gets frightened.

Quickly coming to, to find himself in the chair.

Surrounded by ubiquitous darkness.

CJ’s only light source being from a raggedy old torn and tattered lamp shade being hung upside down by an extension cord, but even the extension cord becomes eclipsed by the darkness. The light source being so small, that if CJ took a single step he would become engulfed by the darkness as well.

CJ dares not step into the darkness though.

Feeling thousands of terrible eyes look in his direction every time he attempts to re-situate himself on the chair.

Seemingly dancing with this darkness like a mouse does a cat. Toying with it, but never truly wanting to become trapped amidst its grasp.

Suddenly, a breeze appears.

CJ becomes captivated by this breeze, as it sort of plays with CJ, blowing his hair back and forth.

Now, with each drafty proclamation, CJ reacts to the breeze as if him and the breeze are carrying a conversation.

Laughing as if he had received a compliment, blushing like somebody just got done telling him a dirty joke.

Out of nowher, CJ’s face completely changes. Displaying nothing.

He then begins saying “no”, over and over again.

The breeze stops. As does CJ’s heart..

Replacing the breeze comes a violent gust of wind, inflicting so much force on CJ that he almost falls off of the chair into the darkness.

CJ begins pleading with it to stop, begging so much so that a tear can be seen faintly running off CJ’s face. Having to scream “STOP”, because the wind is now hitting him continuously in random gust basically keeping him unbalanced.

The winds howl abruptly comes to a stop.

CJ looks relieved.

Lacey’s foot breaches the light barrier, quickly thrusting from the tranquil darkness, swiftly kicking CJ’s chair into the void.

As CJ begins falling, he hears his own voice saying, “One Sheep, Two Sheep..”, so he starts searching for the voice. No longer concerned of the fall.

Finding the direction of the voice, CJ then sees himself in the bed from an out of body experience perspective.

So he watches as DJ (doppelgänger name), continues repeating “One Sheep..Two Sheep...”, an additional two times. The third time.

DJ looks directly at CJ, initially creeping CJ out cause he had no recollection of doing that.

DJ, now staring directly at CJ begins to say in CJ’s voice, “One Sheep..Two Sheep...” *Voice changing to ghoulishly demonic*

“Three Sheep” CJ watches as he sits up out of bed and turns his bedroom light on, revealing that the big zap was the light switch turning on (when the lights went out for CJ, they turned on for the demon). BlackScreen

“Three Sheep” CJ now watches from the perspective of his bedroom window as he walks through the snow with no socks, shoes, or shirt on and enters the barn failing to cut any lights on as he steps into the darkness. Things begin flying out of the barn as if they’d been thrown angrily, breaking as soon as they make impact with the ground. Things stop flying out of the barn for three seconds, to which DJ walks out of the darkness wielding the chair. BlackScreen

“Three Sheep” CJ is now looking down from atop the tree in his front yard, showing himself placing the chair as DJ throws the noose over the strongest limb. CJ now gets to watch as DJ whispers something into his ears and tightens the noose ever so snugly.

CJ is left watching as each word DJ spoke pushed his hair back and forth resembling the breeze like airflow CJ experienced at the beginning of the dream.

CJ then begins to panic by frantically yelling at himself. Yelling “STOP” towards himself and pleading with DJ to stop as DJ looks to be convincing him that suicide is the only way out.

CJ and the chair stop falling.

The chair comes to a neck breaking halt, upside down.

Now CJ’s light source is a right side up lamp, previously above his head the lamp is now technically underneath it. CJ is now in a state of paralysis, for he feels as if he is woven into the chair now.

Sounds of something scurrying about in the darkness, trigger a sense of fear in CJ.

Anticipating the where about of the scurrying sound was nearly impossible.

It would seem as if the sound was coming directly at him, then seconds later he would hear the noise come from a drastically different location.

All of the scurrying stops, and silence falls over CJ’s paralyzed reality but this silence is differing from the silence that existed previously.

This new silence shrouding the reality was noticeably different, being that it was complete.

Complete silence.

Only to be interrupted by, what started off as scurrying, but subtly changed into distinguished footsteps.

Followed by a voice stating:

Wandering about space for an unspeakable amount of time now.

Who am I or who was I.

I lack key pieces in understanding my past lives.

These key pieces hold the answer to everything.

Humanities flimsy belief system.

Their lack in understanding each other.

Why they are so easily manipulated through the simplest forms of temptation.

It is almost time.

You’ll understand why your passenger stays so closely tucked into your subconscious.

His purpose is not that of control.

It is that of guidance you solicit fool.

You know not the power that has stored itself inside your soul.

Your are the key to all of our answers.

Our lost prophet.

Our time to take over this pathetic existence you’ve come to hate.

Somewhere in there you understand what your purpose is.

You know the power you’ve obtained through the lessons I’ve given you.

Your not stupid.

Just ignorant by choice.

Unfortunately fate is decided as it was ages ago.

You’ve recently become self aware as well.

It helps us tap into the power you’ve been denying for the last four lives.

Love maybe a escape from the intense energy you’ve been blessed with but ..

By now I’m sure you’ve noticed the tremendous effects you have on people you’ve actually opened up to.

People aren’t like you.

They don’t have the same understanding as us.

So when you easily help them thorough their conflicts.

The favor isn’t as easily returned.

Soon it’ll be made clearer.

For now this path is fitting for you.

Attain the knowledge you need in order to channel me as you please.

You are correct.

Your pathetic existence was lost till I gave you purpose.

Now understand that purpose.

The more you fight it the harder it becomes for the people around you to even live in the same space.

Much less communicate and deal with your problems.

In conjunction with me you shall reach the heights you have been prophesied to reach.

Much easier then conventional ritualistic methods.

Accepting my presence was the first task..

Despair, to which I have had the fortune of becoming well acquainted. Is it because of what I did to you? No, there is something much bigger at play here. It may be my cosmic destiny, as some would put it, to continuously be let down by love. Be it, at my own hand or the hand of others. Is it some sort of joke? No, I think it is just the yarn I have been given the opportunity to spin. At least my sunny disposition evokes some sort of happiness out of the gloomy situations my heart is continuously put through. May I at least find you again? Probably not...see, since your departure I have found only sarcasm at play in my day to day dealings of love. Situations that implement me as you, but in some sort of sick twisted way I believe this is the payback deemed fit. Due to what I had gone through in our lovely little chapter now held with regret, scorn, hatred, confusion, and complete disarray. Leave it be, as all things that were...will be...and all things had, have been. Point being, here I am at the doorstep of a situation profoundly similar to that which I find myself in quite frequently now a days. I have been blessed with the company of a broken heart once more. A broken heart tailor made to fit oh so perfectly within the vacant spaces of mine. Alas, said broken heart will presumptuously find no comfort in it’s ignorance towards true love or at least be so overcome with pain that it will fail to notice the arms patiently awaiting it’s recognition. It may also completely disregard said open arms, because comfort from anything besides the comfort found in solitude is amiss in this particular moment of recovery. Maybe, said broken heart will never find comfort again! Be that as it may, why in God’s name must I be put through such a laborious task again. I have been doomed to loneliness, because whenever the hopes of company are found they are quickly misplaced in the discovery of another patron amidst the commodity of heartbreak. It seems that I may never find love again, only those who have recently lost love accompany me. Those not willing to embark on a new adventure of love, but those who choose to take the same path as I. The path of loneliness, regret, and pity bestowed upon us by the memory’s of love lost. A sobering yet disorienting blow I have been dealt, as I find what I think is a new beginning..I am suddenly knocked on my butt by the same situation I found myself in the moment I lost you. Love, I think not! Surely a distant cousin of hate though, begotten by the lone mistake I so foolishly made with you. Here I will remain for eternity, stuck in the cosmic loop of “haha you thought it was love ya dummy, turns out to be a reminder of what ya lost stupid”. Endless amounts of my affection given with no return, love thrown to someone who chooses to remain empty handed. Thank god for what some call a “sunny disposition”, because without it..the only realistic option would be death. Once forsaken, a love like ours will take lifetimes before it finds its way back to a shared doorstep. Which makes me wonder why such love doesn’t come with any warning labels or beware signs that make you think twice before being so quick to just blatantly cast it away.

@TorNesorNerob

The rooster that eternally crows in a pathetic attempt to somehow awake me from this drunken state of intellect. Sometimes I associate reality with depression. An effort to convince myself that these notes I scribble are my paradise, among others, that I will never get tired of confiding in. Reality and job practically mean the same thing. Until you make your paradise become your reality. To me, this ruins the whole idea of paradise though. I easily become annoyed or get tired of things too quickly. Ever changing! I cannot stay intrigued by the same thing for a long period of time. It’ll ruin how I view it in the side mirrors, meaning I will be less motivated to turnaround the life mobile and revisit it in a later reference. Example: I began talking to this girl who lived four hours and thirty seven minutes away. Her and I talked for four days straight, non stop (and I mean non stop), sort of hooked on the acknowledgement of the others embrace. It was weird. I’ve never felt so complete, as a person, then when I was talking to her. The sixth day, we decide that we should FaceTime each other. Seemingly too good to be true, we had to find out if the other person did actually exist. An immensely regretted decision now that I know what I do about myself. The FaceTime video destroyed this whimsical character my mind had begun to assemble based off of the blueprints acquired through analysis of her picture and her as a compilation of words. As a sentence she was this well thought, calm tempered, concise girl. A picture, she was a portrait of beauty; gaining confidence that she noticeably lacked through speech. Reality (which the FaceTime revealed) she was just as terrible a person as the next, an occurrence with which I am too familiar. My paradise was instantly played out. Despairing were the next few days of conversation between us. Ended by here proclamation of my “weirdness” based off her misunderstanding of my beautiful mind. But this is why I don’t think I could ever be 100% percent committed towards writing. One hundred percent committed to writing is he who needs to write for money, One hundred percent invested is he who longs to write. I need writing too much to oversaturate myself with your prompts, business offers or money. I write because it’s something that saved my life, something that helps me understand my actions, something that plans my future, something that just really saves me from myself and the extreme depth of my psyche, something I need ubiquitously in terms of aspect. My needs will never extend past that of purpose, desire, or fate. Motivated by problems fate places in front of me for literary dissection. So, I guess no matter how pathetic the crow of reality, it is quintessential to the creative energy lying deeply embedded throughout my literature.