I believe in in love, hope and all the ghosts, even if your shadow is just a glimpse of the man you used to be. I believe in your words as they make the paper melt like soft wax , pouring from your veins. 
You are not the darkness you fight, you are the light that sparks me. Slowly flickering against a book of matches. Awaiting for the fuel of a thousand kerosene lamps keeping the room ablaze. There is life in this room, even within the blank walls that seem to create the shadows of you at 3 am. 
Tho those shadows are just reflections of you and all the lessons life has cast. You have the ability to outshine the ghost, you have purpose and you hold all the ink to spill across the page. 
Maybe you will allow me to touch your hand, let me grace your heart. As a friend who will never stop believing in the ghost and the hollow bones. 
Perhaps you were never looking for the light and just wanted someone to take hold of your dark heart. 
So here are my hands,they shake but they are steady like the rain. A way to be touched when the rest of the world seems to cold to hold your hand.

#poetry

I carved my name among the whispering pines

Etched each letter with a knife

Too sharp for me to hold

I scraped away the layers of this tree

Watching the letters take shape

Witnessed the blood that spilled 
Across the bark

As I used all the strength left

Of a shattered heart

Each letter held a syllable

My lips could not speak

As memories

 
Slipped down my cheeks

I rubbed my fingers across the grain

Where the wood stood

Stained in my deed

For this place will be the only chance

something bigger than promises

Could actually hold onto me

#poetry

I swear life carved my name into a silver bullet and pierced it straight through my heart. Creating a hole for my spirit to escape. Right between my breast bone a hollow grave, sheltering the darkness, never to witness the light of day. My blood seeped from a wound to escape the body of persecution , trailing to the floor. Leaving Crimson footsteps to my door . As if to welcome a bitter world, trapped among the lovers from all the stories before. 
The rise and fall of my chest and the ink that graces my page is how I know my heart still beats, even against the feel of steel against my chest. The cold reminder that I am not spared from pain but I have another day to live again. My heart maybe pierced but soul lives on, with every sway of the pen, my ink is mixed with love , blood and regret … A lesson my heart will never forget.

#poetry

I was born beyond the thickets of wild blueberry bushes and endless country roads. 
Where the sun shined down over fields where my mothers lilacs grow. 
Dirt roads and pebbled lanes would lead you anywhere but home.
Bare feet on summers earth, lakes of cedar where pine trees choose to grow. 
Whispers of bonfires at night kept us behaving through the daylight. 
Tire swings hung from thriving oaks, flying higher than the eagles soar. 
Setting Suns , creating blushing skies , a rush to hurry and get suppers started.
Old country bells ring to announce a feast , on front porches with lemonade at your feet.
The night falling into darkness, the sparks from timbers clouding tired minds with smoke.
Moonshine jars filled with sweet tea, all the long while, whispers
Come dance with me…
Music of the fiddle played , laughter fills my heart. 
A smile , a place… Where my heart grows wild, upon the nectar of a barefoot child.

All the sunsets in the world could not hold a flame to the childhood I spent on country land

(this song is dedicated to all the people that try to sing on You Tube)

I tried so hard to write this song

but the words and the music all came out so wrong

I tried so hard to sing and I tried so hard to play

and if you'd only listen it would make my whole day

I have a dream of fortune and fame

and everybody here is gonna know my name

but I have 13 views and no comments or likes

I have 1 subscriber and you know this really bites

so hard

so hard

I tried so hard but I can't be found

get my head out of the clouds and my feet back on the ground

I tried so hard but you dont know who I am

beat my head against the wall but I'll try it all again

I have a dream of fortune and fame

and everybody here is gonna know my name

but I have 13 views and no comments or likes

I have 1 subscriber and you know this really bites

so hard

so hard

can't write like Alec Benjamin, can't sing like Abby Glover

I'm not cute like Conan Grey and I'm really not so clever

I'm going to try my best even if that's not enough

never get a break and you know that it's so tough

I have a dream of fortune and fame

and everybody here is gonna know my name

but I have 13 views and no comments or likes

I have 1 subscriber and you know this really bites

so hard

so hard

Made up of a central mind,

Where sanity can be difficult to find

Filled to the brim

With contradictions created on a whim

Mistakes, flaws, they master it all,

Struggling to stand tall

Inevitably, history repeats,

From which darkness secretes

No matter what, they try,

Overcoming adversity, even as they cry

Your entire life,

You've been torn

Trapped between

A fear of the unknown,

And a desire for the end

To approach faster

Now that I'm finally here,

Tell me,

What is it you feel?

Is it overwhelming dread,

Or ardent, inescapable joy?

Well, tell me,

You foolish girl

What is it you feel

In death?

Verse I:

When I think of you

My knees go weak

My mind goes blank

and I just can't speak

and it's not a mystery

what happening to me

I know I should conceal it

but everyone can see

That I'm in love

Verse II:

Everyday tasks

are getting hard to perform

I'm starting to think

you might be that perfect storm

that swept into my life

and turned it upside down

and I just can't wait

to see you coming around

cause I'm in love

Chorus:

What'cha you doing?

What'cha you doing to me?

What'cha you doing?

What'cha you doing to me?

What'cha you doing?

What'cha you doing to me?

What'cha you doing?

What'cha you doing to me?

Verse III:

The sun's shining so

and it's blinding my sight

I need you close

to tell me everything's alright

I just want to know

If you're feeling this too

please don't leave me

feeling sad and blue

Cause I'm in love

Chorus:

What'cha you doing?

What'cha you doing to me?

What'cha you doing?

What'cha you doing to me?

What'cha you doing?

What'cha you doing to me?

What'cha you doing?

What'cha you doing to me?

Ending:

I count the stars above

and I wonder if you could fall in love

Why would I think that you'd be into me

When there's so many other people you could see

I found myself sleeping on your side of the bed, I thought it was because I like sleeping closer to the door. I realized that it is because I miss you.

But I have to do this, return your stony silence, not allow my heart to speak, because I’ve always come to save you.

Only God can do that.

You are running harder and faster than ever, your heart becoming more proud every day. It crushes me to see you like this. More than your words of hatred do.

You told me that you hope I die. God showed me that’s a lie. And that deep inside, you wish you would die, so you lash out and blame me for it all.

The man I love so much, is a broken boy.

Sleeping on the couch and fighting God.

So I’m here, on your side, because I miss you.