You may not remember me, I may be a memory just out of reach

To you I may now be a stranger, but I know, I will always be more.

You may not remember the sound of my voice, or the way you loved when I sang,

But that's okay, I'll sing anyway.

You may not remember the punch lines to all your jokes anymore,

But that's okay, I'll laugh with you anyway.

You may not remember how I hugged you tight, 

But that's okay, I'll hug you anyway.

You may not remember my face, or my eyes,

But oh how you loved my eyes,

And oh how they fill with tears these days,

When I look into your face.

You may be in your own little world,

But you are still my world,

And I will love you always

You may be barely holding on, and you may not have very long, 

But until the end, I will hold your hand. No matter the pain, I will be your strength.

what little there is

of differences and similarities

lays on a platter harmless

for now

existing in a harmony unforeseen

for now

what little there is

is all that seems to matter

This heavy, mysterious feeling usually comes and goes. Its visits are often extended until I no longer feel the difference between what’s real and what isn’t, what emotion is permanent or temporary, if it’s melancholy or another form of meaning that is unrecognizable or hard to translate into words. Between my conscious and subconscious lies a separate understanding of what I think I feel and what I’m actually feeling. Sometimes, they are so overwhelming that it swells against my chest, beating to get out until I weep them out. The built up of my sadness, anger, confusion, exhaustion, and frustration pour down my cheeks, a temporary release of the battles that are currently fighting inside me. I think it’s more than just what I think it is or more than what others think it might be; it’s so perplex that it does not have a word, but a feeling that we can only understand ourselves once it hit us.   

I know I've already posted tonight, but I wanted to say something to honor those lost in the Paris terrorist attacks, and those helping and needing help in the aftermath. 

You try to crush the world in your chains

You exert your every effort across nations

You squeeze your disease through every opening you can find

In an attempt to destroy us all

Violence

Death

Chaos

It seemed you had succeeded

And put our backs to the wall

You must have rejoiced

You must have rung the victory bells

You must have put up your feet

But what you don't know is that we still hear hope's call

So we are standing, up off the ground

All across the world

Through hashtags

Relief efforts

Donations

Support and cooperation among us all

You may not want to see it

But we are showing you

No matter how hard you throw us

How thoroughly you break us

How forcefully your blows land

We

Are

Showing

You

How very nobly, courageously, and defiantly we will fall

don't make

you

crazy

just praying

to the

only God

who cares

I add insult to injury and bleed into the glass

Cut my lip upon the rim and my tongue upon the wine

Red mixing with the red, only told apart by farce

I've no ire; it's what happens when so sharpened is the vine

It becomes a heady mix, and I'll ask for yet another

A vintage with a copper note is too familiar to waste

Greedily embraced and savoured like a liquid lover

I'll drain it to the dregs to bet on changes to the taste

An insult I can handle, and my injury will heal

Uncork, and leave the bottle on the table by the door

But when one becomes the other all the splinters turn to steel

I'll pass the key with kisses, or just spit it to the floor

The night is joined in song, and I embrace it as a friend

For day's the enemy; illuminates where I have bled

If I pour myself one last, will I finally ascend?

Or will crimson be the colour of my resting place instead...

I have always been afraid of getting attached

Because people always leave

And no one seems to care that you have intertwined yourself with them.

They just go,

And in the process of abandonment

They rip you in half.

They tear off your skin

And leave you bleeding without a single concern.

I have always been afraid of wounds

Pain is a harsh reality

It hits you. Knocks the air from your lungs.

It rattles your secret treasures, and sometimes they shatter.

With each entanglement, I have become less valuable.

My worth decreases with each word my hosts never heard.

Carry me. I will carry you.

Attach your heart to my sleeve

And I will attach my soul to your bones.

We can live in harmony without harming each other.

I have always been afraid

And so I have kept myself at a safe distance from love.

Distancing myself from love has done just as much wounding as if I had loved and lost a million times.

I lost a love once. And I guess I am still healing

Sewing myself back together

Step by step, stitch my stitch.

It will take my whole life to be whole again.

It will take all I am, and all I will never be, to love again.

-AshleyAnne