Reality check
do you ever think of dying?
do you get lost in thoughts of your skin turning pale and your soul abandoning your body
your heart stopping, whole body paralysing as you draw your last breaths,
does your mind frolic around the thoughts of how your last breath will feel like or even worst which one of the many incoming inhales or exhales will be your last before death
Do you think about the prospective destinations of your lonely departing soul,
or you're stuck and can't quite wrap your head around the fact that it will all be out of your control
Do you fancy a specific way to go out or you have come to peace with life making that decision,
Do you want it to be quick and painless or do you want your last ride to be an excruciating one
Do you believe in heaven and hades, a paradise that we all came from, that if we are good in the sight of the celestial one we'll be called back home but if we are bad we get kicked out permanently and forced to stay in that haunted house next door,
Or you expect an unconscious sleep for all eternity, fading away in the great oblivion
Do you feel death is the end, the ultimate unearthing of the human race,
or to you, it's just an exit, the opening of freedom's passage
Will you take pride in the memory and legacy you'll leave behind when you're dead,
or you wish to leave quietly and be forgotten like you never existed
Do you wish to have the consciousness of your final moments as your light goes off while you drift away slowly,
or you wish to leave the world the same way you came in, eyes closed and mind blank as a baby
Do you ever get lost in the thoughts of death, do I ever get lost in the thoughts of death?
we live in a reality with the possibility of each day being our last, it'd be a lie if I told you that I never thought of death.
Cold days of September
I saw the smile of an angel after the tears that cold September night,
I heard your soul reaching out for some warmth as I walked away with the light
I saw your helplessness in the fight against that which only you knew of,
I was lost in time, imbued in oblivion, I lost a fight I never knew of
I felt my essence vaporized when I held your cold hands and saw your pale blue face as I looked into your eyes,
I heard my heart shatter into a million pieces and all I did was cry
I saw that which one should ever see, I felt that which no one should ever feel,
I felt a great struggle with comprehension, I had a touch with everything but reality
I saw the difficulty that comes with accepting what was, the impossibility of understanding what will be,
I heard a little whisper in my ear "things will never be the same on this new journey"
I saw a melancholic cloud hovering over my head when I looked upwards to you for comfort,
I felt sullen wind filling my sail, on gloomy waters my boat now goes forth
I heard an orchestra of tears as our feet kissed the dirt while we walked like a legion defeated of soldiers down the dusty path,
I saw glassy eyes amidst my love lay looking peaceful with a flower in her hands
I felt the unwanted loneliness no one should ever feel frolicking around the place the body that once housed her soul would stay forever,
I stood at the edge of lunacy realizing a new phase has begun but my life now is over
I lost that which no one should ever lose, I watched the one who should always stay with me leave, now anytime I remember the cold days of September,
I hear my heart shatter into a billion pieces and all I can do is cry,
Addict or Escapee
I'm an addict, I do this for euphoria, I love standing on the ecstasy line drawn across what is and what it should be,
I'm an escapee, every pill, every puff, every sip is a costume of acceptance that beautifies every broken edge of my self-esteem
I'm an addict, I wake up to the joyful feeling of transcending from a peasant to a king when the bud kicks in,
I'm an escapee, I go to bed every day wishing I didn't need a controlled substance to see the world as a safe place to live in
I'm an addict, the shape of my world is that of a tablet, the best way I see things is with smoke in the air and the only time I look good is when I see my reflection in a glass of alcohol,
I'm an escapee trying to escape from a reality where I have plenty of every hurt, heartbreak, and judgements from my flaws
I'm an addict, I wish the days were longer and each moment of faux happiness would last forever,
I'm an escapee, I'm always stuck in the moment, my mind is like an arsenal of self-esteem killing weapons, a library of unwanted memories I feel like holding a gun to my head and pulling the trigger each time I remember
I'm an addict, there's nowhere in the world I will rather be than swimming in a pool full of liquor doing my mary Jane stroke,
I'm an escapee, sometimes I wonder how many beautiful places I could be coming back home from every day other than a drug store, I wonder how things would be if my life didn't have anxiety and depression playing the leading role
I'm an addict, the pills I'm now encapsulated in is a prison and I don't wish to be free,
I'm an escapee, I'm scared of never finding freedom and peace if I let go of that which now has a hold on me
I'm an addict, I'm madly in love with intoxication,
I'm an escapee, I'm hooked on toxicity because I was madly in love
I'm an addict, I know no other way to live to the fullest other than living with my addictions, I wish each moment would last far longer, a little around forever,
I'm an escapee, I wish time would provide a better way to go around things but for now, I'm accustomed to solving my problems with a problem, I just keep fighting fire with more fire
I'm an addict, my addictions have grown to become the essence of my existence and all the vices of a damaged soul's humanity but still, I'm just an addict and that's what I'll be,
I'm an escapee, I just wanted an escape route from this pain, little did I know how deep this cut would go, looking back I wish I done more instead of giving in.
CONJUGAL PHYSICS
Two genders but one sexual act,
Two bodies conjugally connected to each other,
Listening to the rhythm of our heartbeats,
Staring into each others eyes passionately while i caress you all over your body,
I shower you with kisses from your lips down to your neck and further down to your thighs, getting aroused by your sweet scent,
Tasting your sexy body as we gently strip each other naked,
I used my teeth to mildly and slowly pull your lingeries off,
Everything is so exciting, I just can't wait to have a taste of your little honey pot,
Being inside you is the sweetest feeling in the whole world,
The warmness and ecstasy I feel after every insertion is second to none,
As body to body, soul to soul, spirit to spirit, mind to mind all synchronized,
Ready to have the time of our lives,
Every thrusting, every back and front movement sends ecstasy to our brains,
I get a mellifluous grip when I feel your hands on my back and legs wrapped around my waist,
From the bed to the floor to the bathroom with our bodies gum together under the shower and your hands on the wall,
Rounds after rounds we go on all night while listening to our favourite song,
From one position to another we get to climax gradually,
Moaning into each other's ear silently when we both got an orgasm,
This wasn't just sex it was love making on this king size bed,
We tasted the forbidden fruit and still remained in Eden.
ROSES ‘N’ SKELETONS
You live in a beautiful blooming garden,
I live in an old and washed up cemetery,
You’re the sweet dream they always reminisce about,
I am the scary nightmare they never wanna have,
Your place is in a beautiful vase standing on the King’s royal shelf,
My place is deep beneath the ground sleeping in a wooden box amongst the dirt,
Beauty and good is what you’ve always been,
Ugliness and bad is what my identity is,
You have been carried down an aisle in a bride’s warm hands in an atmosphere of echoing cheers,
I have been carried down a dusty path on the cold shoulders of the undertakers accompanied by tears and sadness,
You’ve been taken from your garden to the palace where you’ll be nurtured and loved unconditionally,
I’ve been taken from my prison cell to a waste land where I will rot away for all of eternity,
Your presence emits amazement and brings a smile on the faces of people who gaze upon your beauty,
The memory of me is a wrecking ball, it crushes and leaves pains in the hearts of people who harbour’s it,
In the end, i might be just a dried up skeleton and you an enchanting rose,
But I have freedom and you, you are owned
THIS CLOUD, THAT CLOUD.
Sitting in the park on a Thursday evening as the sun sets beautifully,
I can only imagine how God felt after creation when he first saw the light rays from the setting sun emollient the outline of the clouds as they moved slowly.
I feel each cloud is a moving image, some of which are a reflection from ongoing moments down here,
And others are simply moments engraved and floating in the skies forever like this one above my head.
This cloud looks like the candy shop I frequently finessed when I was a kid,
That cloud looks like a lion playing a game of chess with a pig.
This cloud looks like a fleet of floating ships with a chopper like propellers and no riders,
That cloud looks like a dancing man on a dinosaur's back.
This cloud looks like three little kitten meowing an acapella version of their favourite song,
That cloud looks like a great big rainbow across a waterfall falling from the heavens down on us.
This cloud looks like how my mom smiled on the day my parents died in that car accident,
That cloud looks like them in their angelic robes and halo waving at me with their faces filled with smile and happiness.
This cloud looks like lovely little children playing in a beautiful garden full of roses,
and, That cloud looks like a lonely blind old man who always visits the park with his dog, and although, He stopped seeing with his eyes for a long time, He now sees with his heart.
THE ALPHABET
let me tell you A story of a man who owns a Big bakery of poetry,
It's a very beautiful bakery and he renders the best serviCes,
his minD is thE oven and it is heated by the most amazing words you never heard beFore,
he alone bakes the words without the help of anyone,
he serves his customers' intelliGence and the trutH,
and he doesn't charge for his works, everything he does is for free because his words are worth much than any thIng money can get you,
his bakery might be very young but the words that come out his oven are as old-time,
the wisdom in these words are like those in king Solomon"s mind,
his mind isn't Just an oven, its also the greatest search engine,
the answers anyone seeks are liKe soLdiers in his Mind waitiNg tO fight a war against ignorance and disbelieve,
he uses utensils of wit, flour of knowledge, the yeast of understanding and baking Pans of love,
and when he's done, it becomes the sweetest food of thought,
the produce of his bakery is so good and amazing,
that presidents, governors, kings and Queens all come from far away lands to have a taste of it,
he is a prophet and his apRon is his regalia, an angel without a halo on thiS head,
The bakery is his sanctUary, edifying others is all he wants, he is a hero without a cape, an epiphany for eVeryone is his business,
He's the chef of simile, a steWard of metaphors, a baker of oXymoron and irony,
everything about his bakerY is astonishing but what's intriguing about this baker is his Zeal.