sorry ringo starr, you had it wrong
Love is often misconstrued by the media.
Books, comics, movies, and songs tell you once you find love - once you find the one then you are set for life.
Then good things happen to you, the economy never crashes, the world never burns, and things might happen around you but will never happen to you, will never interfere with your bubble of love.
But as I've grown older, I've seen love in a more complex way.
Love is not an all-encompassing feeling, and it does not set your path for life.
I know my mother loves me and my siblings, but it still pains her that she had to give up the life she wanted for us.
Perhaps the love my mother gives so earnestly causes her to feel pain in another part of her life - perhaps what would have happened if she gave us no love at all? Would she have been able to pursue other dreams, and feel love in that way?
I know that more than any significant other, the love I've felt from my friends has been enough for me. When nights were rough and I had too much anxiety, I felt calm with my friends' love. I never felt the need for a lover because of the comfort of my friends.
And I know there are other feelings not talked about enough - there is nostalgia, melancholy, awe, and euphoria.
Maybe all these feelings are a part of love, or maybe they're entirely separated from it - but I think you need these emotions too, and so much more.
So, to the Beatles, is love really all you need?
la la land
it's interesting because this movie did get a lot of press attention, but I still feel as though it is underrated in ways.
La la land nowadays is seen as a Golden Globe, faux-Oscar-winner of the 2018 days.
People can hardly remember its plot, and will pick many of the other hot-off-the-shelf big-name shows of today.
However, la la land changed something in me. I was always a huge fan of broadway shows, and movies alike, yet never seemed to like it when the two combined.
Yet I always remember, watching the movie for the first time, hearing the music, seeing the camera action brought me back to when I was a child.
It brought me back to watching music videos, singing in the choir, and telling everyone I was going to be Britney Spears when I grew up.
Although life has not gone the way my 10-year-old self expected, and I had to find another career besides the arts - I always find some things that remind me of my love for music as a child.
And in that theatre, watching La La Land, I somehow felt the music, the hope and joyfulness of my childhood that I hadn't felt in a while.
So yes, I will never stop talking about the movie because it truly made my soul feel magical.
I remember back when I was in high school I had a crush on someone who was not necessarily 'toxic', but not a nice person to me. I had a major crush on him because of his achievements and academic/physical abilities so I kinda looked at him as an idol. Despite the fact that he definitely did not like me, and did not treat me well, I still looked up to him simply because I equated his success to him being amazing.
I thought that if I wasn't being friends with him or if he wouldn't like me back, it would be the end of the world because this guy was the 'it' guy, and I wanted to be with him.
I would say toxic relationships seem romantic simply because of the people. The guy might seem toxic but he's crazy accomplished or he's incredibly good looking so people excuse his personality because of his achievements. They see the girl chasing the guy and they're thinking - yes, this is a relationship she should pursue because of how ___ the guy is! Even if the characters fight, they still think that they should be together because the guy is so amazing. Hence, a lot of toxic relationships in movies often have the guy as super rich/super power (50 shades of gray, I'm looking at you).
Not sure if it equates, but I excused a lot of concerning behavior from my crush simply because of how handsome and accomplished he was. I'm sure if I were to get in a relationship with him it would have been bad and yet I would've made excuses for it. Looking back, I am glad he did not like me back. I have since found that there are far more fish in the ocean.
Success
How do you know what you want, unless someone else has had it? How do you choose to pursue success, unless you believe it makes you happy?
Why is it that, I cannot be satisfied with any accolades, any amount of achievements.
For when I choose to label something I have done with satisfaction as ‘success’, it is then my heart says ‘no, more has to be done until that word can be said’.
How many days will it take, how many posts on social media about careers, relationships, and friends will it take until I say ‘I succeeded.’
Or will it be at the end of my life that I look back and still think ‘I could have succeeded more’.
Why are we driven to this idea of success, this forward-moving train of hustle, power, work, ambition…
Success is this mountain peak that has been famously talked about - it has streams, rivers, a gorgeous wildlife and an evening sunset that makes one stop and stare.
But as we are climbing up this mountain, we are thinking ‘is this the place?’, ‘do I need to climb up more?’, ‘what happens if I stay here?’, ‘but everybody else is climbing up!’
How do I stop and sit, when the whole world is telling me to keep going up?
Cursed Condiments
Our parting was brief, and bitter like the ketchup I put on my omelette that morning - the same spicy ketchup you hate, that you choked on and spilled onto the checkered cloth.
You were going to some big-name school in California, where you would be hanging around with fancy, rich, kids - splashing around in their big pools and feeling the sizzling sun of LA on your bag.
I was staying here in our small east-coast town, standing at the bus stop in the frosty weather and swatting thoughts of you from my mind.
I would see you, for sure, on my 6” phone screen and probably on the news someday - but I would never know you like I did when we stood in my kitchen, laughing about cursed condiments.