I didn't see the thorns.

It's true, I didn't see them.

I thought it was the intricacies of love,

but it was nothing but a thorn in my side.

I didn't feel the thorns.

Its true, how could I feel them?

When its a story pointed towards romanticizing,

I grow numb to the sharp sting.

I didn't notice the red flag.

It's true, I didn't notice it.

Maybe because the red flag was crumpled up into a beautiful rose,

and nobody had ever given me a rose before.

Her wrists, elbows, her cutoffs, ponytail. The warmth of the asphalt on her bare feet. I think the heat had got to me. She was so cute, so beautiful. I wanted to brush the pebbles and dust from her feet, kiss her, say "I love you," and get us to the nearest place to sleep. I put the car in Drive again and rolled up next to her. "C'mon, Laurie, get in the car. I'm sorry."

Again she stayed looking straight ahead but this time gave me the finger. I pulled onto the shoulder again and and let her get small in my headlights. This time I waited until I couldn't see her anymore. I turned off the car, got out and took in the stars and crickets and heat. The moon was a yellow pearl. So much beauty we could be enjoying together. Looking at the moon I also saw her wonderful butt and her tender thighs as she stepped over some small lump in the road.

If I were to zip by her, would she make it to the next off ramp? Who would pick her up? What then?

Back in the car, nothing but wind.

"I'm sorry I called you a whore."

"I'm sorry I called you a stupid bitch."

The side of her face. I touched my knuckles to it.

She was asleep and turned away when we pulled into the Motel 8. When I pulled the seat back she squeezed my wrist.

All they had, or so the lady said, was a double with two queen beds. I went up and pulled back the sheets before I carried her up. I slept in the other bed but in the morning I got in with her and we spooned and I held her and then there we were again, trying not to gross each other out with our foul mouths, filthy tongues, and sweat and grime.

Chaos and anguish,

Is attractive to mundane peace,

Loving each other,

Then poisoning the other slowly,

Because your energies are not twin,

They are karmic,

Every kiss is another spec of fear,

From the deepest depths of your souls

Insecurity rings within your ears,

We love people who destroy us,

Because it's in our nature,

Danger is more intense,

Than a healthy relationship,

You never know what he will do next,

It's polarity but in a human way,

The sex erases all of the hurtful thing's he could ever say,

In the end you'll be left crying again

It's a pattern,

Horrible and beautiful cycles that never end,

Generations of pain,

Because we are conditioned to be this way,

By the universe's hand,

We are broken humans.

I was raised on the notion that deeply embedded in every soul there is an ugly thing - an inescapable wretchedness. It is born of a hundred thousand inconsequential, long-forgotten injustices. It is a thing that calls out for love in whatever form it can get and howls in rage when fate throws unexpected trials in our way. It beats against all our ideals and ideas of self worth and the worth of others until there is nothing left but a wound in need of some kind of dressing. A toxic love can cover this wound and hide it from the world, but it is not clean. It will fester. Make our blood boil. Make our minds go numb. Make our hearts feel lost. How intoxicating a thing like this can be - how wholesome in its imperfection - beautifully dire - horrifically dysfunctional - how human.

When you love someone, the things that hurt, hurt so bad. We all know what it's like to love someone who isn't good for you. But loving someone without boundaries allows them to hurt you without consequences. It has a lot to do with how much you love yourself, too. We're not really attracted to the toxicity, but the intoxicating feeling of loving and being loved.

I believe that we are attracted to the toxic because in this generation people are addicted to toxic relations. Like we want to have fights, we are in need of feeling lonely or depressed, even causing scenes out of nowhere to feel good.

See if you look at the rose, you will be amazed by the color and the way it is made that when you will touch it you only then will realize the thorns where actually from the beginning there. People only see what they want to see, but sometimes what you are looking at isn't the one you need. You may feel like you are needy or you need to fix them but they are not in need of your help, and just like the rose needs to be thrown in the rubbish, you realize what a waste it was. The only bad thing is that you still stay there cause of the feelings and the love you grow for them.

What I'm trying to say is that we may fall for someone with a hard past which leads to a toxic relationship but it's up to you if you leave early or stay and make yourself depressed and used by someone you think it brings out the worst, even fights.

He cared.

He cared enough to ask where she went

To yell

To take her phone

To keep her from the people who would hurt her

To take the car from her

To keep her at home

To leave when he hit her

To watch her from afar

To watch her through the window

To apologize the next morning

To give her flowers

To give her a ring

To tell her he loved her.

No one else had ever cared so much.

In the society we are living in

Nothing wrong is considered to be a sin

We are trying to normalize everything

So where do we draw the line for wrong and right?

Perhaps when someone gets injured in a fight ?

Or that person does not live to see the next morning light?

It might be entertaining when we are filming

But when does our moral compass kick in

So where do we draw the line for right and wrong?

Do we need to hear it in another bad love song?

Or perhaps on breaking news

Where they can only find the victims shoes

How do we choose

When to stop

And When to go

Is there a button?

We all need to know

Since when getting hit is being loved

And shouting profanity at someone is getting the problem solved

Or cheating on your partner is the only resolve

Then out the mouth is I Love You

When there is no response, why are we getting mad?

The other person has feelings too

Then again, some of us were taught we have to stick it out

Because that is what love is all about

Never knew love to be bitter and run red

With marks and bruises to the head and to the legs

When we watch the movies we are entertained

But in real life who are we entertaining?

We have nothing to gain

Going through this meaningless pain

If we knew what love is

I highly doubt we would be taking our cues from showbiz.

Few People even Like anyone happier, healthier, better looking or more affluent than them; we claim to Love the Images of Winners held before us -but that, too, is Vanity; possible Only Because these Icons are unreachable.

A few misanthropes might admit they "Hate" (resent and fear comparison to) any particular Celebrity... Till they Meet them. Then it's either gushing adoration or resentful deprecation; both expressions of Egoic Expression.

For Many Reasons; chiefly a lack of self respect due to their own Failure; the "average" person, who has achieved Nothing Noteworthy in their own life; and who's bad relationship(s) graphically demonstrate their social ineptitude; are Energetically Opposed to Joy and self determination.

Drugs Aside, most people are (much) Less than Happy; and few are fulfilled. Feeling Less Bad is all they have; so the foolish antics of hapless losers, and the exposed malice of Pieces of Shit, make them feel "better" in comparison.

Besides; why dig through a mountain of bad Ideas that seem "not so", just to find that Diamond of Excellence no one can afford, anyway?

Like all Hack Directors love to say, "We'll fix it in Post"; which, in this case, means "Falsify the Memories".

To rewrite History in the false light of Self Justification provided by the brain's indistinguishable comparison to the unreality of "The Movies".

I remember back when I was in high school I had a crush on someone who was not necessarily 'toxic', but not a nice person to me. I had a major crush on him because of his achievements and academic/physical abilities so I kinda looked at him as an idol. Despite the fact that he definitely did not like me, and did not treat me well, I still looked up to him simply because I equated his success to him being amazing.

I thought that if I wasn't being friends with him or if he wouldn't like me back, it would be the end of the world because this guy was the 'it' guy, and I wanted to be with him.

I would say toxic relationships seem romantic simply because of the people. The guy might seem toxic but he's crazy accomplished or he's incredibly good looking so people excuse his personality because of his achievements. They see the girl chasing the guy and they're thinking - yes, this is a relationship she should pursue because of how ___ the guy is! Even if the characters fight, they still think that they should be together because the guy is so amazing. Hence, a lot of toxic relationships in movies often have the guy as super rich/super power (50 shades of gray, I'm looking at you).

Not sure if it equates, but I excused a lot of concerning behavior from my crush simply because of how handsome and accomplished he was. I'm sure if I were to get in a relationship with him it would have been bad and yet I would've made excuses for it. Looking back, I am glad he did not like me back. I have since found that there are far more fish in the ocean.