Instead of thinking about the bad things in life, think about the good. Here is a list of stuff that helps me get through life even when I'm down. They are simple things, but even the simplest of joys can bring a man the greatest of pleasures.

1. When you see a dog and call them "puppers" even when they are an old doggo.

2. When it starts to rain, but you dont have an umbrella, so your hair plasters to your head and you feel the rain dripping down your neck and sending shivers down your spine.

3. Reading an older book that was checked out of the library, and seeing an old stain on it. (i know, gross right) but then thinking about how this book was so good to someone, that they couldn't even put it down to eat their pudding.

4. When you blow out a candle and see that tiny whisp of smoke.

5. When somebody by you drops all their stuff, and you have that momentary thought of "should i help him or not?" and you decide to help them anyways.

6. When your crush (or anyone you like, could be a freind, family member, etc.) compliments you on your outfit or the way you look, and you just cannot stop smiling. (this happened to me with my crush, so embarressing)

7. When you can wear a blanket or Not wear a blanket because it is just the perfect temperature to wear anything you want and still feel perfectly fine.

8. When you have that one pen that just glides across the paper with the smoothest ink, and your all just mhmmmmmmmmm.

9. When you finally find a clear place where you can look up and see more stars than ever before, and it just takes your breath away.

10. When you see a wild animal as your walking around, and you just stop and stare at it as it stops and stares at you.

11. Stepping outside in the morning and seeing your breath puff in the air and pretending that you are a dragon that breaths steam instead of fire.

12. Looking outside when the leaves are changing and seeing all of the different colors and thinking, "Huh, maybe I CAN paint with all the colors of the wind"

13. Being able to read stuff like this.

I know that life is tough sometimes, and I am not going to tell you it isnt. Life can be terrible, full of heartache and fear. But what starts the heartache in the first place? Having the ability to love. You don't need to love all of life itself, just the little things can get you by. Remember, "You are what you love, not who loves you" -Fall Out Boy. This quote helped me out in my time of need, I hope that it can help you as well. Don't look down, because even though I have never met you, I still believe in you. Never give up. : )

I looked around, there were what, 12? 15? girls here, and they were all around my age, some even younger. This all started with just an ordinary trip to the library. I still remember that day, Stacia was so exited to pick up the newest book by Rick Riordan. She was almost overly happy, jumping and singing, just like the time when she drank a coffee with 4 shots of expresso in it. I mean, who even does that, but still, I can't help but chuckle at her behavior. Even though it was what got us into this mess. Stacia can't help it, shes so, so, innocent. Not any more.

“Primum, quod sanguis. Venena non dantur nisi in libro illo.

Secundo, in lacrimis. Venena non dantur nisi apud eos liber.

Tertio tuus meam. Venena non dantur nisi in libro illo.

Haec est vita juramento binding.”

One girl after another walked up to the dasis, the person in the mask pricking each one of their thumbs before spraying a quick mist in each of their faces. The woman (At least i suspect the person in the mask is female, i could be wrong.) would take their hand and would start smearing the blood in a large black book. I thought to myself, “Was it just me or does the cover of the book get darker and darker everytime more blood is added to it?” My name is called and I stand there frozen in shock, my mouth ran dry and I couldn't seem to make my feet move. I was paralyzed with fear, shaking with it. Stacia, my best friend, turned to me with encouragement in her eyes, "Come on, you can do it" She gave me a smile that she probably thought was reassuring, but instead it made me feel uneasy. The old Stacia would have never done this willingly, no matter how adventurous she was. "Ariel Belle Collins" my name was called again. I started to shuffle forwards, not wanting to make them mad. Finally reaching the steps that led up to the dasis, I could feel my legs starting to give out. Up one step, ‘DANGER DANGER,’ the little voice screamed in my head. Up the next, ‘TURN AROUND,’. One more step to go, ‘IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO TURN BACK,’ at this I paused, 'Was it too late to turn back?' I started to pivot but then the woman grabbed my arm and pulled me up the last step. "Don't worry, this will only hurt a little" and she took the knife and made a gash on my thumb. I gasped with the sudden shock of the pain entering my system. The other women in the room started up the chant, and this time I could actually understand them.

“Primum, quod sanguis. Venena non dantur nisi in libro illo.”

First, the blood. Smear it in the book.

She took my thumb and made an arc of blood on one of the pages.

“Secundo, in lacrimis. Venena non dantur nisi apud eos liber.”

Second, the tears. Smear them in the book.

This time she sprayed that mist in my eyes, it felt like pepper spray. I had to hold in a scream as my eyes started to water, spreading the tears across my face before running down my nose. Sure enough, my tears dripped onto the page like they said it would.

“Tertio tuus meam. Venena non dantur nisi in libro illo.”

Third, your soul. Smear it in the book.

The women put one long fingernail to my chest, and as she pulled away I felt a horrible ripping coming from inside, accopanied with a tearing sound emanating from my chest. The pain was so terrible, I could hardly bear it.

“Haec est vita juramento binding.”

This oath is life binding.

Suddenly it was all over, no pain in my chest, my eyes didn't burn, even the cut on my thumb was healed up. Nothing left but a shiny pink scar, the color of a wound freshly healed. “Welcome to The Praesul” the woman whispered. I numbly walked back to my place as the next girl went up. Stacia leaned over to me. "Wasn't that fun, I mean except for the pepper spray and the cut, but other than that it was exhilarating." "Mmm-hmm" I nodded my reply, but all I was thinking was, 'What did we just get ourselves into'.

5 MONTHS LATER

The wind whipped my hair into my eyes and my mouth, but I didn’t bother to reach up to wipe it out of the way for fear of dropping the book. I could hear someone tramping behind me, crashing through the bushes and trees like they weren’t even there. I stumbled on a loose root but kept on running despite my throbbing ankle. Whoever was following me was gaining ground, getting closer every second. Finally I burst into the clearing where the fire was blazing, but as I made a move towards it, I tripped yet again. This time I couldn't get up though, my ankle has been pushed to far to fast. This time it was broken. One look back told me all that I needed to know, taking a gamble, I threw the book, watching it make an arc in the air. If it did not land directly in the fire it could at least land somewhere in the stray embers. I was hoping for the former, but the latter might work as well, after all, the book was super dry and brittle from years and years of use, it should be fine. I was still caught up with worry, but it looked like it was on a straight course for the middle when suddenly a hand shot out and grabbed it.

“Stacia” I asked incredulously, “What are you doing?” She didn’t respond, she just stared at the book in her hands, stroking its cover lovingly. “Stacia?” I tried again, at this she almost instantaneously snapped her stare to me. “No” her gaze was hollow, where was the light that so often permeated her eyes. The light that infected everyone around her.“What?” She kept on staring, her eyes boring into mine, “ I said no” I felt so confused, “What are you talking about” her gaze drifted back to the book, “You will not hurt my family” I looked at her, surprise expressed openly on my face. "Stacia, your family is at home, I saw Tommy and your mother sitting in the living room on my way over, they are perfectly fine." "I'm not talking about them, my other family, this family." She said while guestering towards the book. “You mean those monsters? They are-” I got cut off by Stacia, “It's The Praesul,” “What” I was confused for a split second until she explained. “They are not monsters, they're The Praesul” at this I felt rage boiling in my veins, and somehow I found the strength to stand. “They call themselves The Praesul, the protectors, but do you know what they actually do? They are cannibals Stacie, I saw it with my own eyes. I saw them eating a child, nothing more than a baby, is that what you call protecting? Does family make you eat children, HUMAN children. Is that what a ‘family’ would do?” Stacia didn't reply for a second and I hoped that I had finally gotten through to her, but all she said was, “I know”

“Wha-what?” I stuttered, “And just so you know” she swiveled towards me, “They don’t ‘make’ me, I do it willingly.” she pulled a sack out of her pocket and handed it to me. I weighed it in my palm, it was about a pound, pulling the drawstring open, I dumped whatever was in there into my hand. As soon as it touched my hand I knew what is was. I dropped it and started gagging, turning away from the Thick meaty stench that was covering my hand and the bag. While I was retching into the bushes Stacia came over and picked it up. Once I was done I turned to her, “Why do you have a pound of human meat sitting in your pocket?” Stacie looked at me with her big blue eyes, pleading with me. “Don't you know? Its for when I get hungry” as if to prove her point Stacia took a big bite out of it, blood dribbling down her chin. “C’mere, try some” she ran towards me and shoved it in my face, trying to get it in my mouth. I turned away but it was too late, it was in my mouth, the metellic flavor of the blood and meat burst in my mouth. And to be honest, I wanted it, but I pushed her away and spit it out. I wiped the blood off my face but there was too much I was just smearing it. “Don't you see? because I sure can.” she asked me, “Your body craves it, I can see it in your eyes. As soon as your blood was smeared in the book, your fate was sealed, don't worry. I’ll be nice and share.” As tempting as it was I turned away yet again. Stacie stuck her bottom lip out in a pout “Fine then, I’ll just have to eat it myself” she turned to take another bite and that's when I saw it, the opportunity. She was only holding the book with one hand, I could take her out and grab the book while she was down. I have to do it now before I lost my resolve.

With a scream of rage, my body powered with hate and anger at what they did to Stacia, i tackled her. When she went down she dropped the meat and it landed with a squishy thud, rolling to a stop a few feet away. We grappled only for a second because I took a rock and hit Stacia on the head with it. I quickly grabbed the book and raced towards the fire, stumbling on my broken ankle. “Ariel wait,” I heard Stacie gasp, “don't burn the book. I need that, we need that book” I stared at her for a good long second before replying, “This is not right Stacia, it's for the best” I turned back towards the fire and was ready to throw it in when I heard Stacie stand up behind me. “Don't you know, if you burn that book, we all die, everybody who has signed their blood in that book, will die.” I stared at her, taking in what might be my last sight of her. Even though she was filthy, covered in blood, both hers and not hers. Her hair was messy and her clothes torn and frayed. But still, I loved her anyways. She was my best friend. “You remember the pact we made when we were younger?" I asked her, she looked confused, until realization dawned on her face. "We got in this together and we will get out of this together" she managed to gasp out.  "I promise you it will be better.” Stacie looked at me, “But you will die as well” a single tear escaped from one eye, “Then that's just a risk I will have to take.” I turned and put the book in the fire. Watching the cover burn away until it was just the pages. Once those started to burn I felt a sharp stabbing pain in my chest, I kneeled over, and watched as my world turned white.

"Shit" I whispered under my breath. I was just chilling on my balcony, dancing to 'Cant Stop The Feeling' when I flung my leg in the air and off went my shoe. "Shit shit shit shit shit" Scrambling to get over to the edge of the balcony, I got there just in time to see it thunk on the top of a head. The stranger knelt down and picked it up before turning back to look up at me. Suddenly he changed direction and ran into the lobby. "Fuckity fuck fuck fuck." i really have to work on my cussing, but i knew that he was probably looking for me. So i scrounged up some money, a meager $5.28, but it would have to do. The door to my apartment pounded on its hinges, "Fuck, how did he find me so quickly. Probably Jeremy at the front desk, sneaky conniving little bastard. I'm gonna have a word wi-" I was cut off by the door being hit again. "Just a second" i turned around and took a deep breath, preparing myself for the verbal pounding that was sure to come. I opened the door, and started in shock. In front of me was the most handsome man i have ever seen in my entire life, he took off his hat "May I come in?" My mouth agape i stood aside and let him pass, he walked out onto the balcony and looked down, nodding once. Turning back to me he reached his hand in his pocket and pulled out my slipper, "Am I correct in assuming that this is yours?" I nodded and he motioned for me to sit on the edge of the balcony. Still completely in shock i complied, "For you, ma'dam" and he lifted up my foot and daintily slid it into the shoe. "Thank you" i managed to croak out. "Why, your very welcome Miss..." I realized that he was asking for my name, "Coleen, its Coleen. I have some money if you want it." He just smiled at me. "Nonsense, i wouldn't take your money if the world depended on it." I let out a sigh of relief at this. "And i just wanted to let you to know that i am very sorry for you know." Gesturing downwards. "Well Miss Coleen, you should be." "Wha- what?" Suddenly his hands were on my shoulders and he pushed me backwards. I was falling, a scream tearing out of my throat as his figure turned away and walked back inside. I hit the ground with a shock of pain, and then, nothing. I was gone.

“It started with a busted lip and ended with a broken nose.” At least that’s what their Grandpa Thomas used to say. “Now then, you want our love story” The kids nodded enthusiastically, “Well then, it doesn’t start out pretty.” Stacia and Tj, my grandchildren, just sat there. “Don’t worry Grandpa Dereck, we can handle it” she said, while Tj just turned back to his handheld. “Okay, well, it all started out when we were in the middle of our fight against the Mirror Walkers”.

“This was it. This was the end. I tried my hardest to save Thomas from the demons, but they were too fast. The first one slashed my stomach and delivered an uppercut to my lower jaw. I fell to my knees, blood dribbling out of my mouth and down my chin. I tried to stand up but all that I managed to do was fall over onto my side; I was too weak. The demon loomed over me and started to stomp on my face. I could feel each and every bone break, and it hurt like Hell, all I could worry about was Thomas. The last I saw of him was out of the corner of my eye, and all he was doing was lying on the ground, unmoving, as he had for the vast majority of the fight. Sometime in the beginning of the fight he got the demon powder straight to the face, and as we all knew, when that stuff gets inside of your system, you’re as good as dead unless you get help right away. “Marie” I managed to wheeze out, “Marie, give Thomas my antidote, he needs it more than I do” Marie whirled on me with rage apparent on her face. “No Dereck, Thomas is as good as gone” she threw a knife into the skull of the nearest Mirror Walker and turned back to me. “We need to save both of your strength, leave the rest to me and Luckus, we are your team. It's what we do.” with that she turned around and pulled her double swords out of the scabbard on her hip, that when I knew that shit was about to get real. To this day no one has ever beaten Marie when her double swords are out. I turned to see how Luckus was faring, about as good as usual”

“You see my team of four were highly specified individuals, such as myself” Stacia giggled, “Just keep on going with the story grandpa, I want to see how you and grandpapa first found out that you loved each other” I grinned at her and shifted my position, old age had me doing that a lot more lately.“Marie was our weapons expert, I mean you could leave her alone in a room with nothing but a cup of jello and a penny and she would find some way to make a bomb. Thomas was our demon expert, he has read every legit supernatural book in history. You could ask him what was on paragraph 8 of page 57 from the book Florazien Water Monsters, and he would recite it word for word. On the other hand, Luckus was our magic expert, he was the apprentice of the wizard that lives downtown. Then there was me, the super-sized flaming hot mcshizzle-” Stacia cut me off, “Grandpa,” she said exasperation in her voice. “just tell me the rest of the story.” “Okay okay, so we were in the midst of battle when…

“Something caught the corner of my eye, It was Thomas! He started to move, moaning loud enough that I could hear him from all the way over here. He lifted up his head and sat up, grasping around wildly until his hands fell upon his sword. Rising to his feet he stumbled, and at first I was relieved because he was alright, but that relief quickly turned sour with confusion. He was stumbling around as if he was blind, swinging wildly for attackers that weren't even there. ‘What was wrong with him’, I was wondering to myself, and that's when I saw it. His eyes, he was blind. It must’ve been the demon powder, even though we were careful to cover our faces, the Mirror Walkers still must have got some in his eyes. He turned and his eyes passed over me as if I wasn’t even there, and to him, I wasn’t. When he turned my way I took a closer inspection of his face, he did get the demon powder in his eyes, there was more on his cheek and in his hair. I could see him looking at my general direction, and I could tell by the way his hands were moving that he was using a little trick that Luckus taught all of us. It was gateway magic, he was measuring my lifespark.

This time Tj asked the question, “What is a lifespark?” Even though he was 3 years Stacia’s senior, 17 years of age, he never paid attention in school so he didn’t know this. “A lifespark is someone's measure of how much life is left in your body. It flows through your blood, it is engraved in your bones, so that's why when you are sick or injured you need to get help right away. Those symptoms of sickness; nausea, fever, infection, that is your lifespark trying to fight back to keep you alive. For example, if you get a stab wound, and you don’t staunch the bleeding, little by little your lifespark is escaping through your blood, so if you lose too much of your lifespark through things like bleeding, you will die.” Thomas looked shocked, “So I can die by getting a nosebleed?” I chuckled, some kids never learn, “Not exactly, you see, with injuries, such as head trauma or broken bones, your lifespark sends out enzymes that travel through the body and stitch things back together, these enzymes are your lifespark’s back up for only really serious injuries.Little things like bloody noses cannot kill you, but if you lose too much blood, you feel dizzy or off balance, that is your lifespark trying to adjust itself back to thr right levels again. Now then, at this time Thomas was tuning into my lifespark, and as having multiple injuries including a fractured tibia, 7 broken ribs, and a crushed lung. Obviously, my lifespark wasn't looking too good

“Dereck are you there.” he waited for a second, hoping for my answer, “C’mon, answer me, your lifespark is very low, it's almost gone, are you still here?” His question hung in the air, and I could see the pain on his face as he tried to ask again, “Dereck?, Dereck please...?” He waved his hands in front of his face and abruptly the cloudiness cleared away. It must have been another spell that Luckus taught him instead of me. His gaze fell on me, unmoving and I saw it slowly turn cold. I was hurt to bad and i couldn’t reach out to tell him that i was okay. He took in the sight of me lying there, and fell to his knees, just sitting there, hugging himself. Taking one last look towards me, I saw a single tear fall before he let out a murderous scream. “Nobody, and I repeat, nobody touches my Semper Amare without going through me” He stood up and I even though I was weak, I felt his aura increase tenfold. He stood there, rage practically dripping off him, “Well what are you waiting for? Come at me. COME. AT. ME.” This last part he screamed at the demons, The entire time he was ranting they stood there, staring at him, studying him. They were probably curious, then with no moment's notice, they charged him. Even the ones that were fighting Luckus and Marie left them to go fight Thomas.They kept coming in hordes, wave after wave they kept it up, seemingly appearing out of thin air. Constantly attacking, never letting up, and somehow, Thomas held out on his own. He slashed paths into the oncoming Walkers. I don’t know how he did it, but I knew that I had to help him, no matter how strong he was, I just had to. I moved my arm, my left one, my right one was crushed, and let out a low grunt of pain, I must’ve cracked my ribs. I felt the flare in my side, yup 6 possibly 7 ribs were broken. After what seemed like forever, I made it onto my side, then over to my stomach. I drove myself to my hands and knees and vomited with the effort. The bile burned my nose and stung my eyes, but I had to get to up, I cannot give up, not on Thomas. I got to my knees and the effort nearly made me pass out. I whispered words of encouragement to myself, “C’mon Dereck, you can do this, right foot, now left foot and, . . .” I finally stood up fully, and almost fell back onto my face. The only thing that saved me was my sword, I was leaning very heavily on it. My vision started fading in and out, but I forced myself to snap out of it. When I finally looked up I saw Thomas slashing through the last one, and as he turned to me his face lit up. “Ssstupid Thomas, itshhh only meeeh,” I said, my speech slurring.

“Were you talking bad because you were hurt?” Stacia looked at me wonderingly, “Yes I had very bad head trauma, it made me-” this time I was cut off by Tj, “Is it true that you died? Because that would make you the only person to have ever cheated death, that would be so awesome.” I just shook my head at him, “Look Tj, I am flattered by your enthusiasm, but it is rude to interrupt when someone is talking. But yes, I did die, and I will get to that later, now hush hush and listen to the rest.

“I gave a loud gurgling laugh that turned into a hacking cough. Turning my head, blood started splattering on the wall, I must be hurt super bad if I am coughing up this much blood. I looked back over to see Thomas weaving his way through the bodies that littered the battlefield, he was making his way towards me. So were Marie, and Luckus, I raised my hand above my head, “I’mm reaally okay guyssh, it’s jusst a litt-” I was cut off by another round of blood forcing its way out of my mouth only to splatter against my boots. That’s when the world started to turn sideways. I could hear the voices, but they were muffled and distorted. I could also feel myself as my body slammed into the ground, but it didn’t hurt. I could faintly perceive the people crowding around me and flipping my body over, but it's like they weren’t even there. There was one voice, though, one touch that stood out among all the others, Thomas’s. “Dereck? Dereck wake up man. Dereck this is not funny, c’mon wake up” I managed to open my eyes and I heard a sigh of relief. His face was swimming above mine, moving in and out of focus. I could see his lips moving, but I couldn’t hear a word he was saying. I looked at his eyes, and concentrating on those, everything snapped into crystal clear focus. I could hear what he was saying, and I could see his face. But he wouldn’t shut up, It started to get slightly annoying. “I managed to throw out some words, “Thomass I do not need to go to the hospital, you are ssuch a worrywart.” I was still slurring a bit, but it seemed to be getting better. Once he calmed down and started to worry about my injuries, I began to notice the little things about him that I didn’t before. How his messy black hair cowlicks under his right eye, the smooth curve of his jawbone, the slight, crooked bend in his nose, even the delicacy of his cheekbones. But what stood out was his eyes. His usually harsh, steely grey eyes, that were now soft. For a second I thought I saw something flicker in them, was if fear? No it couldn’t be, Thomas doesn’t get scared. Suddenly something shiny caught my eye, it was Thomas’s medal for Bravery and Strength in Battle, I saw myself reflected back in the dull metal that was now smeared with blood. The entire left side of my face was caked in blood, both red and black alike, and my nose was definitely broken. With how swollen my face was, especially around my eyes, I was surprised I could even see. I felt something wet fall onto my face, so I looked back into Thomas’s eyes, he was crying. I tried to lighten up the mood, by making small talk. “Sooo, what doess Ssemper Amare mean?” Thomas just smiled at me through his tears, “You stupidhead. Did you not pay attention to any of our lessons? It’s Latin, it means, My Forever Love” I let out a rattling laugh, followed by more coughs that felt like my lungs were being grated against my heart. I started thinking, really thinking, and I came to one conclusion: I have never been afraid of pain, or suffering, or death, but there was one thing was completely and totally clear now, I was afraid, afraid of leaving him. I did not want to leave this boy, my friend, my semper amare. My world started going dim, and the edges of my vision were turning black, but I had to say this one thing. I took some deep breaths and had to turn to vomit yet again, when I turned back, Thomas put my head in his lap. He looked into my eyes, and that gave me the strength I needed. I managed to get out what was probably my last words I will ever say, and these were the only ones that counted. “I love you, Thomas. YOU, are my semper amare” The last thing I saw before the world went black was Thomas’s eyes, filled to the brim with love as well. I felt myself drift off, the memory of Thomas’s eyes looking lovingly at mine. After a moment I realized that I was just kinda sitting there, waiting. I opened my eyes and saw that I was floating in infinite blackness. I could still see my body, but everywhere I turned my head, there was darkness. I noticed that I was slowly starting to drift downwards, there was nothing to pass the time, so I started to count. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, . . . 10846, 10847, 10848, 108-” I was cut off by my toes touching something cool. I looked down, it was glass. Slowly I was lowered down until the full of my foot was pressed against it. Even though it was glass, it was pure black, and almost shiny, like obsidian. I knelt down to touch it, and I found that the surface was smooth, without any imperfections. It went on like this for probably miles around, the aragonite ground, the complete lack of color. The only this that was different was my pale, naked body. “I sure wish I had some clothes” I muttered out loud, and suddenly a man appeared, well a bright light at first, then the man. It seemed like the man came from the light, he just walked straight out of it like it was a fold in time. He kept on advancing towards me, and having my past experiences of strange people walking towards me out of the darkness, I wanted to run. But something in my instincts said, stay, so I trusted my gut and waited. Pretty soon all became clear as the man got closer, “Mas-, Master” my voice cracked as I flung myself into his arms. He returned the hug, and looked down at me, “Well then, we can’t have that” and suddenly I had my clothes that I was wearing from the fight, but clean, unripped, and and smelling slightly lemony. I looked up in amazement, “Can I get a sandwich too” He just chuckled, and suddenly there was a table with a sandwich and a glass of coke. I sat down and eagerly ripped into it, and when I finished I Found I was still wanting more. For some reason I was just starving. I looked up from picking up the crumbs off the table, “Why am I so hungry, I feel like I have not eaten for a lifetime, for three lifetimes, do you know why?” my Master started to talk. “You are hungry because there is a hole that you cannot fill, the hole, of life.” I looked questioningly at him, so he continued, “You left your life too early, it was not your time yet. Still, because of this, you have a choice. You can stay here, be peaceful, with all of your loved ones coming here shortly, or you can head back to your life. Your life filled with pain and suffering, hurt and heartache. When you go back, you will not be guiltless, you will always feel the pull of coming back here. But I believe that you can fight it, do you?” I sat there in silence when he added “Also if you stay here, your hunger will go away” I looked at him and sighed. “Sure my life is full pain, and hurt, and heartache, and suffering, but it’s also full of love, and happiness, and joy, and Thomas. Thomas.” I whispered his name quietly to myself, and I stood up and looked my former Master in the eye, “It’s no contest, I choose Thomas” He looked at me for a moment, tears welling up in his eyes, and wiping one away, he said, “You’ve grown so much” He crushed me into a hug, “This is not a goodbye, it’s a see you later” Suddenly I was ripped from his grasp and was tumbling through the air. The one thing I saw before the hole was my Master, waving calmly at my passing figure. Suddenly I was wrenched around, and was facing a huge pit. It was pulsing red and I could feel each beat deep inside my bones. I started panicking, every instinct in my body screaming for me to turn away. To run away from this, this thing. As I got closer I realized what it was, this was my heart. I stopped struggling and let myself get pulled into the throbbing red murk that was me. I sucked in my first breath, Air never tasted so good, even though it was filled with smoke and demon powder. I opened my eyes, blue eyes met gray, and tears sprang. My head was still on Thomas’s lap, so I scrambled up and hugged him so hard that we both fell over. I stood up and wiped the tears out of my eyes. Thomas was fumbling over his words, “We were fighting- then it was done- you stopped moving and your heart stopped and-, I just, really missed you man” he said in a rush before he was cut off by the gut wrenching sobs that consumed his voice. He was still sitting on the ground so I knelt back down and held him gently against my chest, “Hey, It’s alright, I’m fine now. Look, all of my broken bones are gone, no swelling, even my face is returned to its former glory” He looked up at me, and laughed through his tears. He wiped his face with the back of his hand, and smiled. “Well that’s a good, because I can’t kiss you if your face is smashed to a pulp” I almost fell backwards when I heard this, “Wait, what did you just s-” I was cut off when his mouth got mushed against mine. It was a pleasant feeling, one that was strange because it was new. I broke it off, and he placed his head on my shoulder. “Why did your heart stop? And why did you stop breathing?” he asked quietly, “Well, I kinda sorta died.” He looked at me with fury on his face, “YOU. DID. WHAT? Why didn’t you tell me that you died?” I looked at him and just laughed, “I will tell you the story later, for now let’s go, these demon bodies are starting to smell a little weird” I stood up and pulled him with me. “A little?” we both laughed as we walked towards the van, our hands intertwined, I looked down at them and smiled, tears welling up in my eyes. “What is it? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Talk to me” Thomas asked me frantically, wiping my tears away, I just shook my head, “We’re holding hands” “So, what does that mean? Do you not like it?” This time he sounded worried and he started to pull his hand out of mine, but I tightened my grip and started to smile again, Marie started chuckling behind us, “It means he likes you, you dimwit. ”“It means that I am happy, and that I am hopeing that we can do this again.” Thomas laughed, and put his hand back into mine. “You’re such a stupid head, don’t you know that I will never, ever let you go” I just shook my head at this newfound overprotectivness, “Well that’s gonna be a slight problem because I really need to use the restroom” and with that, we walked back towards the van, safe and sound.

My pet dinosaur was having a bath in the bathtub that changes colors, when suddenly he started choking on some foam fingers. I called 911, then Morgan Freeman charged in and gave him the heimlick. To this very day my dinosaur swears that he heard the voice of God, but in reality it was just Morgan Freeman asking me to pay up with a pb-n-j.

I looked around, there were what, 12? 15? girls here, and they were all around my age, some even younger. This all started with just an ordinary trip to the library, but somehow it led to me accidentally joining a cult, I mean, how does that even happen.

“Primum, quod sanguis. Venena non dantur nisi in libro illo.

Secundo, in lacrimis. Venena non dantur nisi apud eos liber.

Tertio tuus meam. Venena non dantur nisi in libro illo.

Haec est vita juramento binding.”

One girl after another walked up to the dasis, the women in the mask pricking each of their thumbs and smearing the blood in a large black book. Was it just me or does the cover of the book get darker and darker each time there was another smear added to it. My name is called and I stand there frozen in shock, my mouth ran dry and I couldn't seem to make my feet move. I was paralyzed with fear, shaking with it. Stacie, my best friend, turned to me with encouragement in her eyes, "Come on, you can do it" She gave me a smile that she probably hoped was reassuring, but instead it made me feel uneasy. The old Stacie would have never done this willingly. "Ariel Belle Collins" my name was called again. I started to shuffle forwards, not wanting to make them mad. I finally reached the steps that led up to the dasis, my legs felt like they were going to give out. Up one step, ‘DANGER DANGER,’ the little voice screamed in my head. Up the next, ‘TURN AROUND,’ one more to go, ‘IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO TURN BACK,’ at this I paused, was it too late to turn back? I started to pivot but then the woman grabbed my arm and pulled me up the last step. "Don't worry, this will only hurt a little" and she took the knife and made a gash on my thumb. I gasped with the sudden shock of the pain entering my system. The other women in the room started up the chant, and this time I could actually understand them.

“Primum, quod sanguis. Venena non dantur nisi in libro illo.”

First, the blood. Smear it in the book.

She took my thumb and made an arc of blood on one of the pages.

“Secundo, in lacrimis. Venena non dantur nisi apud eos liber.”

Second, the tears. Smear them in the book.

This time she sprayed something in my eyes, it felt like pepper spray, my eyes were burning so bad. They started to water and sure enough, my tears dripped onto the page like they said it would.

“Tertio tuus meam. Venena non dantur nisi in libro illo.”

Third, your soul. Smear it in the book.

At this I felt a horrible tearing sound emanating from my chest. The pain was so terrible, I could hardly bear it.

“Haec est vita juramento binding.”

This oath is life binding.

Suddenly it was all over, no pain in my chest, my eyes didn't burn, even the cut on my thumb was healed up. Nothing left but a shiny pink scar, the color of a wound freshly healed. “Welcome to The Praesul” the woman whispered. I numbly walked back to my place as the next girl went up. Stacie leaned over to me. "Wasn't that fun, I mean except for the pepper spray and the cut, but other than that it was exhilarating." "Mmm-hmm" I nodded my reply, but all I was thinking was, 'What did we just get ourselves into'.

5 MONTHS LATER

The wind whipped my hair into my eyes and my mouth, but I didn’t bother to reach up to wipe it out of the way for fear of dropping the book. I could hear someone tramping behind me, crashing through the bushes and trees like they weren’t even there. I stumbled on a loose root but kept on running despite my throbbing ankle. Whoever was following me was gaining ground, getting closer every second. Finally I burst into the clearing where the fire was blazing, but I tripped yet again. This time I couldn't get up though, my ankle was broken. I took a gamble and threw the book, if it did not land directly in the fire it could at least land somewhere in the stray embers, but it looked like it was on a straight course for the middle when suddenly a hand shot out and grabbed it.

“Stacie” i asked incredulously, “What are you doing?” She didn’t respond, she just started at the book in her hands, stroking its cover lovingly. “Stacie?” I tried again, at this she almost instantaneously snapped her gaze to me. “No” her gaze was hollow, “What” She kept on staring, “ I said no” “What are you talking about” her gaze drifted back to the book, “You will not hurt my family” i looked at her, surprise expressed openly on my face. “You mean those monsters? They are-” I got cut off by stacie, “It's The Praesul,” “What” i was confused for a split second until she explained. “they're not monsters they're The Praesul” at this i felt rage boiling in my veins, and somehow i found the strength to stand. “They call themselves The Praesul, the protectors, but do you know what they actually do? They eat children, Stacie, i saw it with my own eyes, i saw them eating a child, nothing more than a baby, is that what you call protecting? Does family make you eat children, HUMAN children. Is that what a ‘family’ would do?” Stacie didn't reply for a second and i hoped that i had finally gotten through to her, but all she said was, “I know”

“Wha-what?” i stuttered, “And just so you know” she swiveled towards me, “They don’t ‘make’ me, i do it willingly.” she pulled a sack out of her pocket and handed it to me. I weighed it in my palm, it was about a pound, i pulled the drawstring open and dumped whatever was in there into my hand. As soon as it touched my hand i knew what is was. I dropped it and started gagging, while i was retching into the bushes stacie came over and picked it up. Once i was done i turned to her, “Why do you have a pound of human meat sitting in your pocket?” Stacie looked at me “Don't you know? Its for when i get hungry” as if to prove her point stacie took a big bite out of it, blood dribbling down her chin. “C’mere, try some” she ran towards me and shoved it in my face, trying to get it in my mouth. I turned away but it was too late, it was in my mouth, the taste of blood and meat burst into flavor, and to be honest, i wanted it, but i pushed her away and spit it out. I wiped the blood off my face but there was too much i was just smearing it. “Don't you see, because i can?” she asked me, “Your body craves it, i can see it in your eyes, dont worry. I’ll be nice and share.” as tempting as it was i turned away yet again when she offered it to me. Stacie stuck her bottom lip out in a pout “fine then, i’ll just have it myself” she turned to take another bite and that's when i saw it, the opportunity. She was only holding the book with one hand, i could take her out and grab the book while she was down. I have to do it now before i lost my resolve.

With a scream of rage, my body powered with hate and anger at what they did to Stacie, i tackled her. When she went down she dropped the meat and it landed with a squishy thud, rolling to a stop a few feet away. We grappled only for a second because i took a rock and hit stacie on the head with it.. I quickly grabbed the book and raced towards the fire. “Ariel wait” i heard Stacie gasp, “don't burn the book, i need that, we need that book” i started at her for a good long second before replying, “This is not right Stacie, it's for the best” i turned back towards the fire and was ready to throw it in when i heard Stacie stand up behind me. “Don't you know, if you burn that book, we all die, everybody who has signed their blood in that book, will die.” i started at her, taking in what might be my last sight of her. Even though she was filthy, covered in blood, both hers and not hers, and her hair was messy and her clothes torn and frayed, i still loved her, she was my best friend. “We got in this together and we will get out of this together, i promise you it will be better.” stacie looked at me, “But you will die as well” a single tear escaped from one eye, “than that's just a risk i will have to take.” i turned and put the book in the fire, and watched as my world turned white around me.

I never would have married you if I knew what was going to happen. You are obsessed with them. Taking them home day after day, we don't even eat them because I am allergic, but still you keep on buying them. Their stench is permeating the house, and I cannot take it anymore. It is all you ever eat and it disgusts me; you make smoothies out of them, you boil them, and I cannot stand it anymore. I just have one thing to say, I never would have married you if I had known how much you liked potatoes. 

you are reading this right now, you don't know me but i know you, i am behind every corner, that shadow that you see when you turn your head, its not your hair, its me, hiding from your sight, that breeze you just felt, it is my breath caressing your skin, you cannot run or fight me off, because you are mine, and you always will be, sleep tight, i know you will.