I can

bear

it

I can

One more moment

I can

bear

it

I can

#poetry

~

two hearts

entwined,

bi - axial

braids; a

chinese

finger

trap

is

laid.

tug to

leave, the

f I b E r S

f R a Y

&

painfully,

you’re

left

to

stay.

The fist that squeezes your heart

unrelenting

Or the hopes that plague your mind

harsh whispers

The fear that burns in your lungs

constricting

And the gut-wrenching longing inside

hold tighter

Storing away every word, every action

Holding onto every feeling how do i forget

Every single second choking on cant breathe

Thoughts that you won't let go

if i lose my grip i will fall--

Is more painful than the fall

more painful than forgetting

more painful for your heart

your mind

your lungs

so tell me why I'd take that pain

over forgetting you and letting

go?

My heart is tied up in the umbilical cords of my country even though I am sixteen years old. There is this connection within us that is so spiritual, yet it should have been temporary. There is this sense of duty I feel, to honor her sacrifices in life, to live out the dreams that should have been pursued by her own hands.

Mine stretch out towards a different path, one that would be like taking all the diamonds in the world and crushing it into guilty dust right in front of her mines. The thought of the destruction of such an opportunity just splinters the heart all over.

I now hold the diamond in my hand, looking at its beauty under the glow of my word document, open to an assignment that I should have completed long ago. I see how easy it is to destroy something so precious, so incomprehensibly raw, but valuable.

The cord that ties me and my country together is not bound by copper and steel, does not conduct electrical desires and distractions at glance, but rather it is one made of tissues and veins, one of understanding that surpasses language. It is one of expression, of internal gratitude that surpasses language. One cannot simply walk away from a relationship like that.

Sometimes, it is better to walk away, however. Are we content with bearing the burden of responsibility if we receive love in return? Love, although a necessary emotion for survival, requires sacrifice, and some may consider this too much to care for.

It was a Monday when I felt all of this. I was mining coal out of sand and dust, looking for diamonds to make my motherland smile. After a while, her pull became too fierce, and I couldn’t dig for myself anymore.

That was when I cut the cord, and let go. I wished to be liberated by the freedoms of my wishes, rather than imprisoned by the effort it demands.

#lettinggo #patriotism #freedom #liberty

At the end of the cliff is a rope.

At the end of the rope is a knife.

At the end of the knife is a girl

holding onto the blade for her life.

The water in her eyes turns the night stars into Van Gough's masterpiece.

The colors dance as her body screams.

Fearing the abyss, she never looks below

though the sound of the waves beckon her to follow.

Her grip grows tighter, the knife grows sharper.

The screaming in her mind blocks out the shouting from her mouth.

And the stars spin and dance like never before

because she's falling... falling... falling...

To the earth's core?

To the ocean floor?

To death's door?

To mercy's shore?

To healing from the war.

You are the rose I am gripping tightly. Thin beads of blood are snaking down my wrist, but I am too immersed in you. My happiness that is as sure to leave me again as the sun is sure to set. I'd never forget you, never acknowledge that you are making me bleed or that there are salty stains frozen to my cheeks when you go again. I don't want you to leave me, though it's basically inevitable. I dont want you to feel bad but it wont end painlessly anymore. The thorns have found their place in my palm, nicking vital arteries and stopping me from bleeding out in one swift movement. I cling to you because of a fading feeling like the girls I laugh at cling to whatever useless sentient dildo impregnated them. None of my fancy worlds and forced calm demeanor can save me from being a fool that waits around forever for a perennial that will last a winter with her.

This hurts so much -

holding on

even after

you've let go.

But I can't imagine letting go -

what if I'm wrong

and you're

still hanging too?

Maybe I'd feel better...

but I'd also feel lost -

who am I

without the thought of you

and hope of us?

She lies awake at night

Staring at the screen

Refreshing. Refreshing.

Wondering if the boy she once knew

Would ever come back to her

She waited all day for him

In fact, maybe days

She longs for a “goodnight”

“I love you”

or a “thought about you today, hope you’re well”

But no.

Nothing.

Her heart feels heavy

Tight...

Her thoughts and pain weighing her down

Because she was willing to hold on

As days passed, the weight seems to slowly kill her

She couldn’t take it anymore

“I want to let you go,

so please let me go too.”

It’s over.

Yes, it was painful to let go

But to her,

It was more painful that hanging onto something that’s slowly fading

It was more painful trying to reach out to someone who keeps pushing her away

It was more painful knowing that he doesn’t show that he loves her every day

After letting go,

Her heart feels a little lighter

The pain and misery started to drift away

Yet some of the weight still remains

With memories and the love she once had

But soon enough

Slowly and surely,

Her heart will be free.

It cuts a little at a time,

Wrists rounded by a string of red;

The handcuffs don’t let you pull away.

If you persist long enough,

The cold steel warms underneath the crusting blood.

And yet, you do not stop shivering.

The sunsets fade into the night; the starlight reflects in your eyes.

But you do not reach up; you cannot touch.

Nearby, so close, but never yours or mine.

They say the key is around here somewhere,

It is too dark for you to see.

The pain is familiar, but this fear isn’t mine.

The pulse slows and the bones weaken; you search and search.

The bracelet gleans off your sallow skin.

Until, one day, you pull --- and the metal remains.

You are nothing without your anchor.

Nothing without the rage.

Insignificant without the bloodied hands and yet...

...You exist.

Untethered, burning sand beneath your feet, you walk.

blinded no longer, by the dust in your eyes, you weep.

The tortured hands slowly open,

Revealing weak, faded lines.

Chained by circumstance, released by fate.

You stand in wilful silence, and think of all that remains.

The healing soul, the calming mind,

The pain that dulls at last.

And in that moment, the body ressurects,

Because the life within you can see,

The prison is gone and you are free.

#pain

#Let go

#hold on

#start again

#shackle and chsin

#free

#sand

#time