Jim Morrison intones that phrase more than sings it, opens the song with it: "This is the end--" As the three guitar notes ascend, the jungle silently explodes in vicious red, and then Morrison finishes the line: "--beautiful friend." It's hypnotic, awful, and compelling simultaneously. Other than the distorted chopper blades, it's the first sound you hear in Apocalypse: Now, a dead rock star singing, "This is the end."

As Willard returns down the Mekong 2.5 hours later, the film closes with Col. Kurtz's hoarse whisper in his mind: "the horror, the horror."

No film I've ever seen has been more perfectly bookended with sounds.

this is the end

isn’t it?

that’s why it hurts so bad

because there are no

real reasons for me to

ignore the signs any further

this is the end

the epic finale

the closing of a chapter

that’s turned into a saga

and I’m tired of walking on the edge

of the blade

with my eyes closed

trusting that you’ll catch me.

I have the wounds that prove

that your interest was only

in my words

you loved the way I loved you

the way I bled

so that you didn’t have to

this is the end, isn’t it?

and in the end

there is just me

and my poems

the end -{renata ferretti}

I hate it when books end.

It feels like it's all over.

All those tears, all those grins, are nothing more than a memory. All that building tension and development and then it's just all done. No more pages.

But is it really the end of the story?

Things just can't end that suddenly.

There has to be more.

More love. More tears. More giggles. More throwing the book against the wall in frustration.

There must be more.

I cried until I was bent over, dry heaving, sobbing like I was being accosted, tears streaming down my face, dampening the collar of my blouse. I couldn't breathe. I grasped at the cold metal bar next to me, hoping holding on to something would center me.

Just make it stop.

I sobbed until I was shaking uncontrollably, like perhaps I was having a seizure or choking. My sobs were puncuated with silence, catching my breath.

And how embarrassing.

I was on public transportation.

I am the girl crying on the train.

This is the end. The end of the relationship that has me bent over.

The end of making a public display of myself.

The end of being made the fool.

The last thing she saw was the screw coming towards her face, then her sister standing over her, letting the bat slip from her bloody fingers. Lacie watched with teary eyes as her sister ceased to try to gasp for air and saw her eyes cloud over. She looked at Owen, who smiled and nodded. As soon as the bat fell from her fingers, he pulled her into his arms.

"It had to be done. It had to."

They had joined together, Lacie and Juniper. They had done everything together in their short fourteen years of living. So, when Lacie had said she had found a group of people that understood them, there was no surprise that Juniper had agreed to go too. Owen had stuck out first. He was your typical bad boy with a heart and a story. Both the girls had instantly wanted him, but couldn't have him. Felix made that very clear. Owen didn't go anywhere with Felix at his side, holding his hand. If anyone was the leader, it was Felix, though he didn't look the part. Despite Lacie's fears, both girls were instantly accepted and taken in by both Felix and Owen.

They replaced Spyder, a girl from Indianapolis who had gotten during a raid and had to be euthanized. Felix showed them to her corner of the abandoned sewer and explained their role. They were a part of the watch, a group of eight who stood around the perimeter at all times and watched for danger. The two were armed with nail guns and baseball bats and the antidote in case anyone had gotten bitten. They stood three meters away from Lexie and six meters away from Coryn. That was their spot. This was their job. For months, the twins had excelled at their jobs and at their post. They had defended the hangout against drunks, thieves, and of course the sick.

That was until that Wednesday when someone had come back. There had been a successful raid in the north, so their branch had to keep a close eye on those who came back. It was a group of Thieves, coming back with their catches. They searched everyone, watching closely for any bites or scratches. The last of them, Harper, had unmistakably been bitten. His eyes were already starting to get the green film that the sick get when they are infected. He couldn't shut his mouth, and his skin was beginning to decay. Lacie was afraid, but Juniper had no fear.

"You can't enter," she'd told him, pressing her nail gun to his shoulder. "Stay here and we will get you some help."

"I don't want help," Harper said, his voice already beginning to rot with every word. "I'm fine."

"You are not fine. Please, stand down. Let us help you," Juniper said firmly yet with tenderness.

Behind her, Lacie was fumbling with the syringe, trying to get enough of the antidote into it to help him. Harper noticed and was insisting to go in, despite Juniper's warnings. While he was pwaying attention to Lacie, he didn't see that Juniper had flipped on her walkie-talkie.

"You're not injecting me with that," Harper growled.

"Harper, please. We need you to feel better. Do it for Donnie. She's pregnant, right? You have to be there for your baby."

"I'm fine!" Harper screamed.

In one swift move, he shoved Juniper aside and began to race into the entry. Lacie tried to lunge and quickly prick him, but he was too fast and she ended up falling on her face and shattering the syringe all over her. Harper raced into the darkness, and out of nowhere, Felix tackled him and shot a nail into the back of his head. Harper was dead as soon as the weapon was discharged. Lacie could hear the footsteps coming towards her, but was too stunned to even move.

"Lacie," Owen was saying a few moments later. "Don't move."

She looked up to see Owen and Felix, along with a few other of the Guards, standing far away. She turned to see Juniper standing over her. She knew she had been hit from the smell of decay that loomed over them. Juniper's tan skin was becoming olive, and she smelled like rotting flesh. Juniper was fixated on Owen, as she had not realized that Lacie had come to. Juniper snarled and stepped over Lacie to try to get to the others. Lacie grabbed her ankles, bringing her down.

"Lacie!" Juniper screeched in a tone that Lacie had never heard before.

The tone momentarily stunned Lacie, which Juniper used to break free and race towards the others. Lacie snapped out of it, and sprang up, tackling her sister and putting her in a chokehold. Juniper scratched at the air trying to get to Lacie but she couldn't. Lacie pinned her and grabbed the bat Juniper always used. She hit Juniper in the gut with it, and her stomach began to leak blood. Juniper wailed, in an almost human tone, and Lacie loosened her grip. Juniper punched her, and Lacie lunged into action again. This time, there was no holding back. She struck her sister hard in the head with the bat. The hole that the nail made in her head bled immediately, but that didn't stop Lacie. She kept hitting her sister until she stopped moving. Lacie had raised the bat again, but Owen had stopped her.

Lacie looked at her sister, who was staring at the sky. Death was clouding her vision, and tears streamed down Lacie's eyes as she watched her best friend and twin sister meet her end.

this is the end.

i’m done giving up on myself.

i’m done staying up at night, wondering what it means to live.

i’m done running away.

i deserve every little bit of happiness in this world.

i deserve every little bit of love i’ll receive in my lifetime.

i deserve it all.

this is the end,

and also a new beginning.