As they ordered their food, Joe started the conversation with an icebreaker.
"Well, this is way more awkward than the last time we met."
Sally stared at Joe in shock.
This was a blind date.
She'd never seen him before in her life.
Last March I went on my first date in four years. Instead of him sitting across from me, he put our chairs together, put his arm around me, and rested his hand on my leg. I told him affection and PDA give me anxiety. That was our only date.
3 Strikes, You’re Out
"How was your meal?"
"Horrendous, last time I ask for a homecooked meal.”
“Didn’t I say dress formal?”
“I’ll have the stea-”
“She’ll have the salad, thanks.”
“Just looking out for your health, sweetheart.”
“If you want to look after yours, I suggest you let me order – sweetheart.”
First Date Mistake.
“Whats that fragrance you’re wearing? It smells so familiar.” Pauses for a while in awkward silence. “You know? You smell like my mom.”
How To Stay Single
"But I like older women."
(This is the watered down version - the first idea was filthy.)
"You look like a movie star in your profile pic... King Kong is my favourite film."
"You like my shirt? Thank you. Mummy chose well, didn't she?"
‘‘I know all about you from all your social accounts. I already ordered your favorite meal. The chicken fettucine alfredo! That one’s my favorite as well.’’
15th Jan., 2021 Vendredi.
Odd Twist To Dinner
"Oh, glad you could find my place. Just have a seat on the sofa,
and I'll finish setting the table for dinner.
"What's that? Oh, what's for dinner?
"Didn't I telll you? You.
"I eat people."
(The first person who said they loved me!)
Him: Are you a vampire?
It all unraveled after that.
that n a m e
so i usually try to avoid writing unnecessary posts,
but see, if just one of you learns from my mistake,
('cause he ghosted me after)
i said his name was funny.
he didn't laugh, like, at all.
so i was like
dudee it's not that funny..
The best pickup line
"Are you a trainwreck? Because I just can't look away. Come on, whats that look for? At least I didnt call you a parking ticket!"