I see the roses have turned,

faded, wilting,

a breath away from death.

The chocolate candies,

gone stale,

like us.

You said love between us

would last beyond all days,

beyond all time.

And still, there you are,

on the arms of another, laughing,

not knowing you have murdered my heart.

You were once,

the valentine of all my days.

Now, my days are empty.

Why?

I lie because I don't think there is truth in truth.

I lie beacause I think that's what matters, to tell the real truth using true words.

.........blah.....blah....blah...

But the real reason I lie, and I'm sure of it, is because I don't want to loose her or see her crying because of what I've done.

O, lord! You know me for a sinner! But I don't ask you to guide my tounge in to speaking the truth. That is just not me.

How much better it all would have been if there never was a thing called the truth!

This is a bit emotional so be warned.

I lie to keep you happy.

Yes I slept well.

Yeah, I'll be fine.

Unfortunately, as a person I would rather lie about my emotions, because I don't want to worry you over something as insignificant as I am.

It is too hard for me, to be the reason you are upset.

I don't enjoy our arguements, and this is why it happens.

It's not your fault, don't apologise.

Sorry.

I am just not 100% yet.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please do take care of yourselves,

Winter.

“love the sinner, hate the sin!”

“i just don’t agree with the homosexual lifestyle”

“the gay agenda is going after our families”

“it’s just so gross”

“they make me feel so uncomfortable”

“it’s just retarded”

“that’s gay”

“they stole the rainbow”

“why do they have to do that in front of kids?”

“they’re going to hell”

“male and female is god’s perfect design”

“it’s really sad”

“i don’t know what i would do if you told me you were gay”

Dead branches of selfishness.

Oil of secrecy.

Rope and twine of the finest shame.

Bound am I by the trappings of jaded society.

When I was patient, nothing came. Do I not deserve pleasure - even a morsel of what I percieve others to have in their finest kodak moments?

Perhaps I do not, for it has been so long... and I no longer know what is right. I no longer know what I am, or who I wanted to be.

So bring now the fire, so that I do not have to see her cry.

lies

lies send happiness

lies send sadness

lies have a purpose

they protect the real message

but what if the real message

is a lie?

I lie because there are no true words to describe the feelings in my soul.

No words to describe the tremendous amount of anxiety and fear I hold in my heart.

No words to tell of my over whelming sadness.

No words to explain that these feelings overtook me.

I lie because my face doesn't match my soul.

I lie because I don't want to be a burden.

I'm doing great.

Because of the looks they give me when they know the truth.

Because of the words they say when they think I'm not listening.

Because maybe if I tell enough lies, they will accept me.

Maybe I can be normal too.

"No, I'm not different."

"Yes, I am like you."

All these false words just so I can feel like I belong.

I lie because it is safer than the truth.

The truth that I am not normal.

I am not like them.

I am different.