dear Theprosedotcomnicks! it is a weird time to pop your head from under the rock. and whatever you do, it's more than likely a mistake. but you have a choice now, to put to right all those wrongs! Or you could do the rendii. up to you. choose all, some, a few, one, or none of the following topics. the topics are : 1) Joe Pesci learns about Christmas at the Monsanto cloning facility. 2) i really hate when___ 3) the big van Gough conspiracy. 4)when Jaffar was learning to read. 5) zippers that go three ways. 6) the contents of the pockets of Georges-Louis Leclerc (the cont de Buffon) 7)shplotzery in the holidays. 8) understanding Corsica in the age of uncertainty. 9) archipelago mapping for begginers. 10) punchcard machines in the north pole. 11) darkned glass slabs 12) ribbons on men's pants and troubling trends in pitchfork designs. 13) an unitemized list of building materials. 14) packets or packquettes, baggets and bagguettes. 15) the birdfeader soars again 16) one here amongst us doesn't know his 'besides' and 'beside's. 17) the rock-hard certainty of auxiliary media rooms. 18) an abridged history of the Lilliputian nation. 19) you're only as young as your eel. 20) hard truths in the Ponderosa. 21) the gentle, caresses of the scouring pad. 22) Sebastian's favorite sandwich.

Danceinsilence

38 reads

Say It Ain’t So, Joe (okay maybe it is after all)

Joe Pesci was so upset at the Monsanto Cloning Facility. The two chili dogs he cloned dripped sauce all over the Van Gogh painting he paid handsomely for earlier that night. “I really hate that, Christmas is ruined now,” he screamed, but then, when he wiped away the sauce, part of the painting dissolved only to reveal the painting was made in China! A copy! A fraud, he cried inside his mind. “Great just frigging great. Ruined by one of Sebastian’s favorite sandwiches. I’ll get that little pipsqueak that sold me this redone piece of garbage. Stuff his ass in the trunk and take him out to the Ponderosa where he can lay under the cold, hard ground with dozens of other’s I put there.”

As Joe walked outside, he started to think about Jaffar. “Wonder if that little zit has learned to read yet. Joe doubted it. After trying to explain to Jaffar about the three-way zipper, even after showing him ‘show and tell’ picture cards, Jaffar didn’t get it.

What a load of shplotzery this night has turned out to be. The holidays just don’t have that pizzazz any longer. Yeah, thought Joe, I need to bust some balls, that’ll make me feel better.

Getting in his car, he remembered a list of unitemized list of building materials. He smirked and said, “Oh yeah, I need to add cement. Gotta make sure I have the cement when I reach the Ponderosa.” He started laughing as he pulled away from the parking lot.

“Cement! Maybe the holidays won’t be so frigging bad after all.”

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Challenge

Random topics: holidayS edition.

dear Theprosedotcomnicks! it is a weird time to pop your head from under the rock. and whatever you do, it's more than likely a mistake. but you have a choice now, to put to right all those wrongs! Or you could do the rendii. up to you. choose all, some, a few, one, or none of the following topics. the topics are : 1) Joe Pesci learns about Christmas at the Monsanto cloning facility. 2) i really hate when___ 3) the big van Gough conspiracy. 4)when Jaffar was learning to read. 5) zippers that go three ways. 6) the contents of the pockets of Georges-Louis Leclerc (the cont de Buffon) 7)shplotzery in the holidays. 8) understanding Corsica in the age of uncertainty. 9) archipelago mapping for begginers. 10) punchcard machines in the north pole. 11) darkned glass slabs 12) ribbons on men's pants and troubling trends in pitchfork designs. 13) an unitemized list of building materials. 14) packets or packquettes, baggets and bagguettes. 15) the birdfeader soars again 16) one here amongst us doesn't know his 'besides' and 'beside's. 17) the rock-hard certainty of auxiliary media rooms. 18) an abridged history of the Lilliputian nation. 19) you're only as young as your eel. 20) hard truths in the Ponderosa. 21) the gentle, caresses of the scouring pad. 22) Sebastian's favorite sandwich.

TheWolfeDen

37 reads

I once knew a zipper that went three ways.

They were a real blast at parties.

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Challenge

Random topics: holidayS edition.

dear Theprosedotcomnicks! it is a weird time to pop your head from under the rock. and whatever you do, it's more than likely a mistake. but you have a choice now, to put to right all those wrongs! Or you could do the rendii. up to you. choose all, some, a few, one, or none of the following topics. the topics are : 1) Joe Pesci learns about Christmas at the Monsanto cloning facility. 2) i really hate when___ 3) the big van Gough conspiracy. 4)when Jaffar was learning to read. 5) zippers that go three ways. 6) the contents of the pockets of Georges-Louis Leclerc (the cont de Buffon) 7)shplotzery in the holidays. 8) understanding Corsica in the age of uncertainty. 9) archipelago mapping for begginers. 10) punchcard machines in the north pole. 11) darkned glass slabs 12) ribbons on men's pants and troubling trends in pitchfork designs. 13) an unitemized list of building materials. 14) packets or packquettes, baggets and bagguettes. 15) the birdfeader soars again 16) one here amongst us doesn't know his 'besides' and 'beside's. 17) the rock-hard certainty of auxiliary media rooms. 18) an abridged history of the Lilliputian nation. 19) you're only as young as your eel. 20) hard truths in the Ponderosa. 21) the gentle, caresses of the scouring pad. 22) Sebastian's favorite sandwich.

The Journey In Us All

Chapter 104 of 186

WhiteWolfe32

scoured

the shower water

is too hot

a burning that is only soothed

by the gentle caresses of the scouring pad

that scrape away

the layers of agony

until i am red and raw.

i trade

one burn for another

a bargain struck with the gods of fire

and while i no longer feel the shower,

i imagine i can feel bone

like i've taken

steel wool

to my skin

and scrubbed myself away

into nothing.

i find the concept

soothing.

the idea that a sponge could

clean me away just as it scrubs

oil from pans.

the scouring pad

is my only love

and its touch is all i need.

until the next shower

when we'll be reunited

under wet streams of fire

and cherry-hued skin

that goes white

with pressure.

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Challenge

Random topics: holidayS edition.

dear Theprosedotcomnicks! it is a weird time to pop your head from under the rock. and whatever you do, it's more than likely a mistake. but you have a choice now, to put to right all those wrongs! Or you could do the rendii. up to you. choose all, some, a few, one, or none of the following topics. the topics are : 1) Joe Pesci learns about Christmas at the Monsanto cloning facility. 2) i really hate when___ 3) the big van Gough conspiracy. 4)when Jaffar was learning to read. 5) zippers that go three ways. 6) the contents of the pockets of Georges-Louis Leclerc (the cont de Buffon) 7)shplotzery in the holidays. 8) understanding Corsica in the age of uncertainty. 9) archipelago mapping for begginers. 10) punchcard machines in the north pole. 11) darkned glass slabs 12) ribbons on men's pants and troubling trends in pitchfork designs. 13) an unitemized list of building materials. 14) packets or packquettes, baggets and bagguettes. 15) the birdfeader soars again 16) one here amongst us doesn't know his 'besides' and 'beside's. 17) the rock-hard certainty of auxiliary media rooms. 18) an abridged history of the Lilliputian nation. 19) you're only as young as your eel. 20) hard truths in the Ponderosa. 21) the gentle, caresses of the scouring pad. 22) Sebastian's favorite sandwich.

Roses311Sublime

41 reads

Dream Buffet

20. hard truths in the Ponderosa.

Mick left the buffet line with a big smile on his face, and a plate full of yummy food. His mouth watered over the fried chicken, tacos, spaghetti, and a yeast roll with the perfect shine. He also thought about the sundae bar awaiting him soon. As he returned to his booth, he noticed a ghostly version of himself sitting there.

"Ummmm.... who are you, and what are you doing at my table? I came here alone!"

"It's alright Mick.... I am you anyway, so I think I can sit here at this table set up for you."

"You're me? How?"

"I am a ghost version of you. You are alive of course, just dreaming. Things that make no sense can happen in dreams, after all."

"This is a dream? So I'm not actually at Ponderosa Steakhouse?"

"You sure aren't my friend. You live in Upstate NY, and Ponderosa is no longer open there. You must be dreaming about the last time you were here in the 90s."

"So basically, with the exception of this dream, I can't eat at Ponderosa in NY anymore?"

"No sir. You would have to go to Scottsburg in Indiana, or Hillsboro in Ohio to get some tasty food like this."

"Damn. Well, I know I'm in a dream, and I haven't woken up yet, so I can at least enjoy my meal in this realm. And the best part is I won't have a stomachache, since I'm dreaming anyway!"

"True. But now that you know you're dreaming, it is going to be harder to stay in this world. Will you even be able to enjoy your food knowing the dream could end at any moment? And will you even stay asleep long enough to get to the sundae bar?"

"Damn it!"

Mick then decided that despite the peril of waking up and no longer being in his favorite restaurant from his past, he would still enjoy it as much as he could. And if it came down to it, he could always take a road trip to Scottsburg or Hillsboro (maybe even both if he was hungry enough) upon waking up from his delicious slumber....

Retro Ponderosa commercial: https://youtu.be/NCDonl-sRNQ

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