Lie A Little More
I lied about watching Yellowstone.
I'd made a new friend and I panicked.
She loves Yellowstone.
I'd refused to watch it on principle.
She didn't know that.
One night at dinner she made a joke with a punchline from the show, and damn me... I figured it out and went along with it, and she squealed with delight, "Oh MY gosh! You watch Yellowstone, too!"
And because I'm too desperate to be liked and the friendship was barely budding, I replied, "Well, duh. Who doesn't?"
We proceeded to talk about the show for half an hour (well, she talked and I bullshitted) and I realized two things:
1. My friend is stupid.
2. I either had to binge-watch Yellowstone or continue to lie to her about it forever.
And because I am an actual asshole, and because a small part of me enjoys toying with people, I decided then and there that I wouldn't watch Yellowstone. I would instead see how long I could keep up the ruse.
It's been two years since I made that resolution.
She still thinks I've seen every episode.
She still texts me, gushing.
I still shoot back theories based on nothing but the breadcrumbs she so charitably litters amongst her texts. I won't even google- that ruins the fun for me.
It's become a game I just can't give up.
So,
I lied about watching Yellowstone.
The lie rolled off of my tongue like smooth whiskey.
And I liked the taste.
It was a little lie,
but now that I've started,
I think I might
Like to lie a little more.
it's all a lie
I'm fine
you look great
this too will pass
without lies
life unendurable insufferable
reality weighing too massive
mirrors crackled shattered
the things we tell ourselves
to just get through the day
without inflicting offense
to the fragile frail brittle world
too feeble debilitated coddled
since birth
into believing truth is harmful
so we lie
to get by
don't worry I'm fine