and she called me "stupid" again today, and i cried again today, but not until she hit me again today, all before i bruised again today.

i felt that knot again today, the one that starts in my fingertips as she reaches over to punch me in the shoulder blades. it comes and goes every few days, but it's more difficult to let it go and drift away today.

she pinched me again today, and she punched me again today. and her words cut me again today, a little deeper than all the other days. and today the knots grew up in my finger tips and spread to my shoulder blades and all throughout my face in every single overwhelming way.

she called me a "whore" again today, she told me that my ex boyfriends only loved me for one thing. she doesn't realize i've never given anyone that thing, i've never even thoughtful about it for one single day. the knots developed in my fingertips again today, developed a little stronger in a lot of ways. it spread into my toes today, so painful that it nauseated me a little bit today. it took a little longer for me to get it to go away.

she punched me again today, told me i was worthless again today. she used all the right words to make me feel like the worst thing on this Earth today. I felt like shit again today. those tingling knots came up in my fingertips again today. i couldn't push them away today. they spread to my stomach and took over every cell in every place. i couldn't get it out today. i fell to the floor in wretched pain. and i said the words i've been fighting for so many days. i told her she was disgusting, to look at her own face. that painful hatred took me over and made me swollen with massive hate. now i feel the feelings she feels toward me and i feel the hate she must feel every day, and i hate myself and i say i'm sorry for the words i said today. and she said, "it's okay." but she didn't apologize to me today. and it's all my fault again today, just like every other day.

A fire burning

From deep inside

Heating your extremities

Blocking your

Rational thought

And tinging your sight with red

Driving you further and farther

Than almost every opposing feeling

But if you allow it

You can give into the love

And let it take you

Because if you live

A life of hate

Then you can't and never will be

Happy.

Hate is the black hole that sits in your chest

(right behind your lungs)

and slowly expands by feeding off every idea

every thought

and every mildly average action

Until you can no longer exist without trapping even the slightest bit of resonance of happiness without letting it turn to ash

I can't love you.....

Either I never did, or I wished I never had.

Wasted time,

Wasted mind,

Wasted cryin.....,

Knife from behind.

I can't love you.....

Either I never did, or I wished I only had.

When you loved me back.

Hatred.... Too nice of a word

For the dead bird

The Bat. The absurd.

The rat thorn in my side.

Swallowed pride.

How I hate swallowed pride, when it's mine.

Hatred-I can't love you, won't love you.

Hatred is an extreme emotion that is brought about by several contributory emotions themselves brought about by external influences.

If someone dislikes you, it is highly likely that you will in return dislike them, but this feeling is unlikely to take over your life as hatred can.

Hatred cuts deep into your psyche and feeds on itself until you become consumed by it, it is negativity in its purest form and stifles positivity.

Hatred is the bane of creativity.