the miracle of life isn't much of a miracle; two bodies collide and their worlds are then a pinnacle of daisies and downfalls and neurological corruptions--truly simple sources of evil chemical eruptions. what am i afraid of? i suppose that if you know me better than i know myself myself, you'd say storms, maybe world wars, or perhaps even simply just cutting myself on broken thorns. but here is the reality of this unfortunately disastrous emotional poverty: i fear that i let people down and waste the air circulating within me.

come to me with your confidence

and all

that you know i want.

you don’t expect me to be someone i’m not,

because you know i am vulnerable, right?

you can see the tenderness in

the reality of my defenseless heart.

i like my voice as it describes you to me

…and now, i have something i need to tell you

in person.

don’t ask me to show you what it’s like to lose a beautiful heart,

mine.

don’t let me go another day before i tell you i love you.

© r.e.l. 1/2/15

[ originally posted on My Secret Innuendo® http://mysecretinnuendo.com/2015/01/02/my-voice-as-it-describes-you/ ]

I am scared of...

*Feeling dead inside before I even am 6 feet under.

*Failure.

*Only existing but not living.

*Dying alone.

*Bugs..any kind.

*What people think of me.

*Re-living my past.

*Wanting to escape reality.

*Not being able to breath.

*Weird creaks and thuds at night time.

*Being alone in the woods at night time.

*Wanting to do something but never trying.

You know how sometimes

You think of something

Then convey it differently?

Or sometimes

You are being genuinely nice

But people think of it as being plastic?

When you say something that's totally unoffensive

Yet hurts the hell out to others?

Or you act yourself

Then everyone reads on it as if you're out of your mind

Or you just ask something

Out of curiousity

Then gets accused of being paranoid

I'm afraid that when you look at me, you will see the insecurities of my broken path.

You may not see the future that I foretell myself. Something bright and victorious.

I fear my words may not touch as many as I would like. That before I begin it might crumble like pie crust to my debilitating end. I force myself to keep going.

I have found love in the most curious of places. Will it slip through the hectic-ness of life?

Will I leave a legacy or doom with every footfall?

These are my fears, my dreams, my tears. In the end my life was already written, so everyday I charge myself to say something amazing will happen today. No matter the fear the adventure is always greater!

I have many fears,

Just like any human,

Fear seems to be apart of our mind that cannot be truly removed or destroyed;

But you ask what I fear,

What I specifically fear,

So I shall tell you of some of them.

My first and greatest fear,

Is to fall in love,

Only to lose her, and the child, in childbirth;

It is a fear that has plagued me,

And caused more than one horrifically terrifying nightmare.

My second fear,

Is that despite my hopes,

That the country in which I live,

Will turn into a fascist state,

That the good life I should've had,

Will be stolen from me from under my feet,

By the evil of men in power.

And that is all I'm willing to say about my fears.

- Michael Hall

Nothing around me breathes.

Nothing moves.

Nothing sees.

Feels.

Hears.

Nothing is here but me.

Nothing.

No one.

But me.